I feel so tired. I honestly don't think there is a place on my body that does not hurt. So many raids, so many attacks.. I wish this madness would just end. I've seen so many fall, and I can still smell blood and battle. I can taste it in the back of my throat.

It seems as if I have done nothing the past few days but fight, my body is a picture of cuts and bruises. The cycle just keeps repeating; Fight, fall, crawl my way back from the life monument. Sometimes I do get the upperhand, but those times are becoming fewer and fewer.

Yesterday was pure hell. Balthazar attacked the lands in full force, my own sister fell under the full fury of his wrath. His demons infested the Vanguard halls, and it was a furious and bloody battle. Every room a battleground. Even knowing that I had no chance I still charged in, terrified and shaking, but I had to try to do something. I threw enchanters fire as fast as I could, not knowing if it did anything other then make the demons laugh, but it had to be done.

And then came the towns, everywhere was struck at once in an organized attack. The main focus being on the Temple of Branishor and the Castle. The Dark Lords spies must have known the Queen was in attendance, I am just glad the Knights were there to protect her.

But there is always a calm in the storm, a moment where one is lulled into thinking that the worst is over. Before anyone could clean the blood from their blades, the gore from their faces, my own Hall was attacked. Every room crawled with demons the likes of which I have never seen. My dreams will be filled with those dark, twisted faces for a long time. So many people came to fight, but the horde was so strong. Even the most skilled and valiant of fighters were being crushed under foot.

The outside of the hall become a triage, with clerics and young initiates tending the wounded. For hours the fight went on, again I did what I could, but it just wasn't enough. Avedis stood fast though with Cody, Bris, Quasha, Gerse, and Haven fighting at his side. Even with such strength of arms and magic, it was a brutal and vicious battle that lasted for what seemed like forever.

But, I am ashamed of myself. I tried to help, to fight where I could and to lend my magic even if it meant my own death. But before the fight was over I was done. I could no longer stand on my own 2 feet. I found myself collapsing outside the Branishor Temple as I tried to get more medical supplies. I feel so weak, and so inept. I know I tried, and I keep telling myself that. But deep down I can't help but feeling as if I let them all down. My friends and my family. If only I was stronger.