I've felt so lost the past few days. It's almost like I am walking througha haze. It's amazing how just one person can have such an effect on oneself. I've been trying so hard to stay strong and to keep my emotions in check, but I fear my will is weak. I just wish I could keep my heart in one piece, but it has been broken so many times that I fear I have lost all possible hope of solidarity. I can't even find peace of mind in my usual refuge. Stepping into the caves brings back so many memories of Malus, and those happy memories are always marred by the loss of him. His death played such a toll on me. And now just when I thought I could find that happiness I once held again, it has been torn from me by a simple act of deception. Even though my anger rages at being played the fool, I still keep G in mind. I know I will forgive him eventually, but the pain is still to fresh for it right now.

Atleast today I had some small relief from my heartbreak, even if it was only for a short time. I spent time with Sibel and met Callaya, those two brought a smile to my face and a few moments of reprieve from the storms raging in my head. I was so happy to bring them both into our happy little family here at the Hand, though I am not sure if Sibel quite understood what was going on. But they both seemed quite happy to be included in our circle of friends, so all is well I think.

If only I could hold onto that moment with all of us laughing and dancing around in the forest...