I worry for her, my liitle bird. And calling her MY little bird will no doubt annoy her to no end, which naturally just amuses the hell out of me. I miss her, I miss her a lot, but she sleeps and I sleep and we spend what time together we can. But still'...I worry for her. Valorn has taken its toll on her I think. We all have a breaking point and sometimes we all just need to bow out and take a breather. I did it, maybe she needs to as well. I hope not for my own selfish reasons, I hope not. But if she does... I will still be here when she awakes. She really is my better half. Once again Valorn has managed to dim the ligh...without any help from Balthazar. How he must laugh, he sends his petty troops tp attack our towns knowing we will defeat them, he sends a token force, knowing we are destroying ourselves. So be it. I have always said the land is full of morons, alas its the morons that are mainly left. What does that make me for sticking around? I miss them, Hayate, Amon, Haven, Syl, Whit, Darias, Snazy...so many really. Hell there are days I miss Ruby falcon. Gods save us all.

Jessa was awake the other day, the little guttersnipe. How I adore her. I will never forget the day she came at me with the dagger I bought her and scalped me. I laughed for hours. My finest pupil. I also saw That Cleric, foul creature that she is. I think she would faint if she knew how much I adored and respected her...no she wouldn't, she is about as conceited as I am, she would expect nothing less...deserves nothing less.

I'm still not happy with my guild hall. It needs so much work, the whole thing needs reconstructing, except for a few rooms, even my office needs a touch up as much as I love it. Yes..I have my own room..and why not. People might say it's a waste of a room, self indulgent and ostentatious. Luckily I don't give a rats backside as to what people think. She certainly likes it. I think it amuses her that I have taken a room purely for my amusement.. I think she finds me amusesing...like a little puppy froliking around is amusing. Hmmmm that idea is really quite disturbing

She still refuses to come to our halls. It amuses and saddens me, but so be it and I have never been one to beg. I has asked a few times, the answer is still the same. So be it. Still...oh well.