So, here goes. Im holding my breath again and I am more than a little nervous.

I know she still has so much to deal with. So do I, really. But I have always been comforted by her presence, and spending so much together recently seems only natural. Who better to understand? Who better to not 'notice', but know all the right things to say?

I am always on the verge of doing something rather foolish - whether its taking a bite of a demon heart, to stepping beyond the boundaries of friendship with a rather embarrassing public display. In both instances, I was defending my own.. um.. ability... oh, alright. I was being foolish.

So, I decided that I should do things properly. Afterall, we have been very close friends for such a very long time. A proper apology, a proper request, properly accompanied by flowers and more than small dose of humility on my part. She doesnt make things easy for me, she never has. I guess... no, I know... I have always admired that about her.

I have the blessing of the guild, at least - nothing matters more than family in the end. I am not publicly declaring a burning, undeniable love for her. I am just looking for the chance to find out if destiny has something more in store for us. I want the chance to make her smile, to see her eyes light up when I surprise her with something unexpected, I want that rushing, tingling feeling when she brushes my hand accidentally... only, I dont want it to be an accident.

So, here goes. Im holding my breath again and I am more than a little nervous.