the writing on this page seems to be in a different hand a more following piece of script than Eshthala's usual scribbles

So much pain for a young heart to have born. My sister, may the Gods give your tortured soul peace!!

I have wandered far these many years praying that my lost mother and sister still lived. I knew in my heart of hearts that are mother was gone. When the Shadowwolves came looking for your family. I knew you lived at least but I still hoped that they had found another unfortunate soul....

We may only be half blood but we are sisters. And I only hope I can help you heal these scars. Esh, I love you.



Natalya Firstorm
Daughter of Quendalnat Firstorm
Last Blood of the Last Wolfsister
Air Paw of the Bretheren

xxx

In Eshthala's usual scrawl at the bottom

Thank you. Hopefully I can ease your pain too

Esh
x

the writing is very jagged and wonders around the page like the writer is having difficulty contoling the quill


Many moons have passed since I last took up my pen and many things have transpired in that time. Not all of them good however.

The legion for what I can tell has reached the end of the road and the warriors of the Eternal Light have split off onto different paths most going to AVE. It does sadden me to see this happen and count myself among the last of yet another warrior clan makes me very downhearted yet oddly proud. We still are warriors of the light but among others now not our own little band. May be that was how it was ment to be after all...maybe...

It is as Venus would say "Prophacy is what you make of it and not a thing unto itself"

Venus....

My friend...my Wolfsister....has been injured. She knows not exactly it's cause but she has been blinded beyond the healing grace of a clerics hand. The Ascended God Darren bestowed a walking staff upon her and the title of humble. He said her blindness is a test. I worry about her somewhat. But her blindness has opened her other eyes farther and she has peered farther into the murky depths of my soul than before. It surprises me that it has not maddened her to see that. To touch my blade torn arms....

My arms....they pain me to use them....I turned my axe on myself....after I killed Tatyanna....why did I let it come to this....

In happier news my little bladlings are happily iniating others and I have lost count of my lineage descendants. I am also very pleased to see another woman among them. Steel will have alot to add to the great records next we meet.

I have also rekindaled my shadowwolf roots in my own guild. May be this is a time of new beginnings for me. A pheonix from the ashes of my past....

Great news has reached me even in this dark and wretched place. Krakyn has manged to get a message to me that he has initiated Zal Windchaser into the warriors craft. Passing to him the sword given to me on my initiation and I have given it to him. I am glad for it is another blade in the Demon Lord's side!
He says another friend will join or trade soon.
Yes, happyness in the darkness
I must get home
soon

All I seek is solace
peace for a tormented heart

All I want is freedom
to loose my bonds for a new start

All I dream is passion
loves light to guide me true

To leave the pain of pasts behind
To put my trust in you

It is dark here come and find me
Seek me out and bring me home
I need to find the light undying
To lead me out no more to roam


To seek, to want, to dream, to leave
to leave the pain of pasts behind

Shine the light out of darkness
Shine the light my path to find
Lead me the lost, the bloodborn blind

The second of my little bladelings was intiated on the warriors path today. Following Krakyn Magsley a few moons prior was Galad BladeGrace.

It was an initiation almost as dire as my own only we got to the temple on time but Galad was so overwhelmed with the beauty of the place clambered up the exit ladder looking to explore before completing the ceremony. I had to find the man and bring him back to the temple racing against the turning of the marc and with what I can only think to be a matter of moments remaining we completed the ceremony.

I am considering leaving an instruction sheet on the back of the apprenticeship form there can't be just two of us confused in Valorn.

Now I'll get word of this off to Minstrel Steelthunder. Or is it Royal Minstrel now?

there is an ink splatter were the pen has been dropped. it scrawling handwritting are the words

shiny wench.....very very shiny wench.....

there are several scored out lines of text on the tear stained and ink blotted page and the bottom of the page in the only clear part of the page is the following

I have done a very hard thing. I have left the Legion.

The lives of the youngest are the most sacred and precious and saddness fills every heart when these such lives are so tragically lost and their souls gone to Aldywth.

Today I feared I'd see such as saddness.

I came up to the Nobles Club for a quiet place to rest on my way back into the mountains and walked in on Venus and Xanthias. I was alittle surprised to hear of their union when I returned to Valorn and I wish them well but I did not want to intrude on them and turned to leave. Xanthias instead left.

And just as he did it happened

Ildara came up the stairs carrying Bethany and she was suffering from great searing pains in her belly. I know not about the intricacies of birthing but the expression on Venus' face was enough to know this wasn't ment to happen. I did the only thing I could to help, prepared one of my healing salves and asked Ildara to apply on Bethany's belly to stem the pain slightly. Venus examined Bethany with her cleric sight while Ildara prayed to the gods and I called blessings of the Eternal Light.

Thankfully it was not as grave as we feared.

The child was possitioned against a nerve in the mothers body which was causing the pain. There was no threat to either.

I feared for them both. If history could repeat itself....


The world needs no more Eshthala Bloodborn's

several pages of the journal appear to be missing until the next entry is located. It is tear stained and the ink runs in places

I have returned.

It has been many months since I have been in Valorn's heart. My wanderings taking me far out across the wilderness to my place of vigil.
It has been four years...and the pain still goes deep.
I have finally burried the last of the Shadow Wolves skeletons with full ceremony after all these years. My only regret is leaving them to rot and be consumed by the wild beasts but the rite of burial is something that only I can give them. Something I must do alone.

155 Wolf Sister fell in the attack 2 survived. One forsook her former life and only I remain. 7 wolves also died the rest of the pack that lived with us scattered.

I tended the crude shrine I had built in the center of the camp until the moons passing, leaving a new entry in the Tome of the Purple Paw as I do each time I return to the camp. The graveyard.

"A lone wolf returns to her pack
Four turnings since the darkness came
To meet with friends and aquantances
To watch the passing of Orange Flame

The grief of your last sister
sheding tears upon your graves
No longer Cursed, but redeemed
A Warrior that weilds the might of Flame"

The spirits were with me then

Something very strange happened to me today....and then it led to things still even stranger!!

I was wandering in most northern regions of the desert when I stumbled upon a green crystal guardian. I knew the foe was to powerful for me so as it lumbered towards me I ran back through the dunes eventually coming to a zombie and scorpion barring my way and hastily dispatched them lest the guardian caught up with me and as I was about to move on I caught sight of an oddity. Strapped to the zombie corpse's back was a wooden box fastened with a lock. I pulled it off it's back and slung it over my shoulder as I ran back to Milltown.
Once safely in the inn I set about to look at the box and as if my need for a rogue had been heard by the Gods, Mylor came in for his lunch. If only I had known then what was about to ensue...

I have been initated in to the ranks of the warrior community. I know I still have a lot to learn and much to prove but I am ready.

Getting there itself seemed to be a challange. Sol Dreamweaver, my sponser, wasn't too sure that he remembered the way and asked Richard Deville to escourt us there. However he asked me to meet him at the oasis which I had not seen before. I was in Milltown with Steel at the time and asked him to take me to the oasis. Then after that we all set off to the temple but Sol went the wrong way and i blindly followed once Steel and Richard realised they turned back to find us meantime a desert demon had cornered me on my own. The others could hear me calling for help but could not find me. Eventually Richard came and distracted the beast while I ran back to the oasis where Steel was waiting to lead me to the temple where Sol was waiting for me. I swear the whole thing was like sheepdogs rounding up a lost sheep. If one of the Gods where watching I'd be sure they where calling "come by!" and whisteling.

We missed our oppertunity so there was not much else we could do but wait. In which time Steel informed me of the lineage I was about to join. As far as he could trace back in the great records it runs something akin to this:

Lahnoran
Islander the Demon Slayer
Pogumni the Fierce
Demon Queller Ferno Vlade
Kalwinder Singh
Sol Dreamweaver
Eshthala Shadowwolf

I will spare the rite of initation as it is something I'd rather not think on - especially with three men present.

I have never been so insulted in my life!!!

That demon spawned Giric. Insulting the honour of Valornian warriors. If he wasn't so bensspiting arrogant he'd realised how wrong he was.
I'm too angry I can't even write about this....


what appears to have been writen sometime later

Alright so maybe myself and Venus caused the outburst. But he claimed himself a highly skilled warrior when he still wore the badge of initiate. I was trained to be a warrior from when I was old enough to hold a wooden sword I still do not claim I am a warrior even after my initiation I probably wouldn't consider myself so.

Someone needs to teach that man humility...

Venus is, thankfully, on the mend. Steel and I did not have to take her to Branishor afterall. With the fever broken Jaymes and Steel are trying to get food into her though it appears she'd rather make little sail boats out of it. I have had the good fortune to meet Redti Quickfeet a good friend of of Venus' that day but he had to go before long. Then Venus made a break for fresh air and Steel followed leaving me alone with the other aquaintence of this happy gathering, a Master Giric Smitan. I had been forwarded some notes from him from the welcoming commitee and spoken to him briefly in Dundee the day he arrived in Valorn, the last of the Fall festival. But this was the first I got to speak to him proper. An interesting man by all accounts, has the warrior's spark in him. Unfortunatly he seems to know this and is rather cocky. But he said something I hadn't imagined. He asked if Steel and Venus were in love. The thought had never crossed my mind till then. I emphaticly told him no that they were just friends but...ever since I had wondered. I wouldn't blame her if she did...

My concern grows for Venus. Herbs do not work and she refuses those the calm to sleep. She will not eat and her condition is worsening. I fear if this malady worsens then she may...

the page is tear stained and the ink runs making most of the paragraph unreadable until


...lose my Wolfsister.

I try to push these thoughts from my mind hunting in the desert though the part of me killing and slashing and burning in the midday sun is numb and distant the thinking part just worries and prays. the next thing I know I stumble blindly into the path of a demon advance scout and before I knew it it had pounced on me and taken a lump out of my arm I beat it off but I knew I'd be unable to kill it when suddenly Steelthunder's sword cut the beasts side. Asked if i needed help and I agreed nodding and we took the beast down together. Exhausted and heavily wounded I dropped to the ground and took an old rag from my pack to bind the wound with Steel offered to take me to Shamson but I declined. The physical pain kept my mind from wondering to other darker places.

I asked him if he knew of Venus' condition and he said he did not. She must have kept it well hidden from him but considering who difficult such a thing would be he mustnt have seen her since it's early onset. I told him briefly of what i knew and how I feared for her. He suggested we take her to Branishor to see if the clerics at the temple could help. We decided to wait and let Venus rest before we even thought of moving her and parted ways.

there was still an awkward feeling around him but the common conscern over such a dear friend seems to have changed something. I think we are friends now.

Venus is sick and I do not know what is wrong with her. She has been laying in the Tavern of Glass for days in the hope of cooling herself from her feaver barely aware if myself or Steelthunder or Redeti or anyone was with her at times the rest she sounded very weak and thin and whispering about burning flames and Milltown and then...then there was the man.

She started shrieking about a figure with dead eyes and looking over my shoulder at the fireplace. I turned and saw nothing but the crying from Venus made me think that her illness may be caused by some evil spirit or demon that would only appear to her and this fear awakened something in me and almost watching myself as a spectator I roared out a curse in the direction of Venus' gaze damning it to N'rolav and invoking the disfavour of the Gods swearing my protection to Venus and throwing a bar stool at it. Jaymes looked up and scowled at me and I indicated i'd pay for the damage.
I turned to Venus who informed me he was crying. I swore.

I do not know for sure but this may be an ancestor or loved one trying to warn her about something, it may be connected to the vision of my death and the distruction of Milltown but....

It could just be a feaver dream...

I am a fool.

I met Steelthunder in the Meeting Room at Milltown Inn and with all the embarassment I started glowing like a magma beast. He could see some thing was wrong but could not tell what - he thought I was unwell!
I made small talk, trying to hide my embarasment but he could clearly see he was making me uncomfortable and offered to leave I told him not to trouble himself over my stupidity and then finally swallowing my fear I asked him about what happened and...he knew nothing of it. He heard a thump true but that was all I excused myself and ran outside.

I am a fool a wretched light forsaken fool.

I have never been so embarased in my life!!!

For a few days know Giric Smitan, Venus Darkmoon and a few others, have walked straight past me when I have greeted them or spoken to them. These friends acquintances and fellow adventures are not the kind of people that wouldn't spare a kindly word or greeting in exchange for another so I had a feeling something was greetly wrong.

Then I became aware of the smell.

I couldn't believe it! I am a clean wench, I wash every morning every night and after every demon hunt. For a moment I thought it was that accursed demon halberd messing with my mind but it seemed there was no other obvious explaination.

So I ordered some water and soap and went to the upper floor of the inn to use the tube. Venus was up there with Isolde and I asked her of my fragrent issues. She said there was no such thing but I felt she was just being polite.

So I washed behind the screen and got out of the bath. Then, I slipped on the soap I'd left carelessly on the floor and fell with a cateclismic thump.

And Steelthunder woke up.

I could feel my cheeks burn as I scrambled behind the screen and dressed hurridly. How am I ever going to face him again?

Cold and hollow.

That is how I feel just now. I feel like my spirit has left my body and I'm just an empty shell.

Venus has told me of...things she has seen in the realms of sleep. Things that have echoed ancient writings glimpsed briefly by young and, until now, uncomprehending eyes.

She saw a great battle at Milltown, several swarming beasts and creatures and many adventurers and townsfolk, fighting, bleeding, screaming, falling and dying amid the burning wreckage and when it was done, when nothing was left but up turned stone and rotting carcases of both man and beast lay amid buring oceans of blood, she found....she found


there are several ink stains here and a hole left by a snaping nib. It is clear that the writer paused for a long time before continuing

she found me. Gored and as cold as stone. Souless. Dead.

And as she spoke the haunting words I remembered a tome I read in the Shadowwolf camp whilest still a child. The freedom of the souls lost at the hands of the Cursed Wolf would only be redeemed when the wolf dies in fighting for them. This only confirms to me now that I am the cause of my tribes downfall. And the attack itself? I fear that another prophecy, though indeed that of the Eternal Light is what has come to pass. The gathering of heros to face the Demon Lord at the last battle.

And that is why I am empty, the die is cast and my path decided. I know must train and wait and take as many of the vile demon spawn as I can down with me.

Isolde, Gods bless her and Eternal Light shield her, has seen many hardships in her short life. Losing her mother and being raised first by a cleric in her homeland and then traveling from there all the way back to Valorn to be cared for by the more than capable hands of Venus. I have never seen someone so devoted to the care of another as Venus is with Issy. Both of them have known very great loss in their time. With which I can identify.

Isolde grows up rapidly and is nurished well by her adoptive mother. I know Venus doesn't like me saying that she's Isolde's mother but to some extent she is now.

I can only pray that the Light can protect them both. They have seen enough demons to last a lifetime.

The deserts are a fearful place. Not only are there many strange and wild beasts therin but the dryness and the heat are a battle unto themselves. Too hot to wear armour too treacherous not to. I fought may way through the shifting sands dispatching first a scorpion then a zombie on and on stumbling and bleeding with exhaustion and the wounds I carried. I should have gone back. I know that now. I was delerious and weak. All I could think was onward for the Shadowwolves, vengance for the Wolf Sisters. I could hear the spirits but not what they said over them a voiced hissed of a need for blood and of horrific vile mutilations. I stopped short and the voices stopped I started again and it snickered.
I knew it was that demonic halberd. The vile cursed thing had been trying to reach me to speak to me for days. I will not give in, once I can claim a new weapon for my own the halberd will be distroyed.
At that moment I suddenly came back to myself and realised there where to shapes shambling towards me. I knew that I would not survive the fight but I refused to go down without putting up resistance. I mustered what strength I had left and threw myself at the first taking him to ground, and his head, but the second knocked me off my feet and I was falling backward, through the sand, through darkness, through the sky, through a roof and slamming down hard on my back on the floor of Milltown inn. My halberd lay beside me some distance away but I deared not touch it. Looked around Isolde sat on the floor playing with one of misteress Ventili's dishcloths and Venus Darkmoon stood by the fire stewing herbs in a pot.
"Greetings Wench" she said smiling.
I pulled myself up and dusted off, leaving the weapon where it lay, and nodded to Venus.
I was safe for now. I thought.
Another day, another dance, another demon falls.
Another tale, another time, another task performed by all

A different day and my sleep is more restful and I awake with the first rays of dawn. I lay still contemplating the stillness of the morning and the peace of my dreams. For a few moments I forgot myself, who I was and where, but only for a few moments.
The clanging and cries of the town crier brought me back to myself reminded me that there is discord and demons in the land. A demon army outside Dundee's walls. The summons of call to arms. The whisperings of lost souls singing a battle hymn to me.
I clambered out of bed and strapped on my armour hurredly and unsheathed my broadsword as I dashed out into the streets and hurried out to the plains almost imediatly meeting the officer I rushed into the creature heedless of anything but the call for vengance. A red cloud obscuring my vision, thoughts and actions. When it cleared The foul creature had fallen though I was heavly wounded though the pain could not match that which pulled at my heart.
"For the Eternal Light!" I cried into the morning air "For Valorn! For the Shadowwolves!"
Then I saw it, in the grass lay the demon's wepon, a halberd. I picked it up it felt good in my hands. The spirits cried out for me to drop the accursed thing. I would not, could not, abandon the chance to destroy the demons with their own weapon. I sheathed my broadsword with a smirk of pleasure.
I downed some potions then pressed on slaying 6 more demons and taking their wretched scalps as my prize. Then wearliy, but with the satisfaction of serving my duity I returned home. Leaning the halberd against the wall I returned to my bed, still fully armoured, to doze until the noon time. But I could not rest. I rolled over and gazed at the Halberd against the wall. Yet I had the sense that it is it that is watching me.

I wake this day in a cold sweat trembling with the images of the past. The hauting shadows. They were there, again. They always are.
The Cry of the Shadowwolf it was once called. The howling lupine battle cry that sounded over the plains as we charged down the demon hordes, now nothing more than a lament for their own tortured souls. I cry with them when their souls haunt me in sleep and pledge myself to their vengance and the freedom of Valorn even more vehmnantly than the last.
The peace of the oncoming dawn does not calm me. Nor does the Crier's call of all being well.
All is not well with me.