Dear Journal,

Well, these lands have changed. Bits and pieces of my memory come back as I wander around and try to make these lands familiar again. It is not easy. I was very fortunate to run into two wonderfully friendly women. They helped me by lending some armor and coin. I must find a way to repay the kindness. With the armor I was able to hunt some today. It felt so good to hold that weapon in my hand again. I had forgotten the power that flows through my weapon. With each strike and blow I felt more like myself. Hard to imagine that once upon a time I was a master hunter.
I continue to see familiar faces everywhere I go. I am also haunted by some faces that look so familiar yet I cannot place them in my memory.

I will continue to search until I find answers. I will not give up.

Lucy

Dear Journal,

I awoke today...confused, dirty...What happened. I have so few memories of the past several years. They are scattered, the ones I do have. Will I ever be able to piece together what happened? Where have I been for these years? The last thing I really remember is leaving this land, but I do not know why. I have some thoughts that I was search for or perhaps following a friend...someone who meant a lot to me. It is so hard to be back, my memories of my time here are even scattered. I feel confused. I awoke south of town...wandered into the inn. A very pleasant young woman showed me a place to get cleaned up. I feel some better but still disoriented. I have no money, many of my belongings seem to have been stolen or perhaps lost. I found this journal in the bottom of my pack. Reading over old entries has given me some clues to my old life but not enough. It is so hard to try and put the pieces together. Why can I not remember? What happened to my armor? Where is all my gold?

Will I ever find answers?

Lucy

Dear Journal,

Gaining my 62nd level of experience has proven harder than I first thought. I am so close now that I can taste that sweet victory with each Horror I fight. I know it is close, but my motivation and will are waining.

I was able to take Skye to the temple and assist her in learning the ways of the rogue. She was overjoyed, as was I at the transformation. I am so proud of her! I know she is going to do great things as a rogue, she is so fitting as one as well. I look forward to seeing her lurking about in the rogue tunnels in the near future.

I have learned to accept the Advocates of New Hope as my new family. Its easy with Tyros by my side. Everyone there has been overwhelmingly welcoming and helped me feel at ease. I still miss my dearest Kindred, but it was great to see familiar faces. I find it easier to stay in touch with Arkadie now too. I had truely missed her after she left the kindred, but in getting to know her new guild I can see why. They are truely an amazing group of individuals very much excited about their cause.

Our guild hall is beautiful. I love the life monument that welcomes everyone so warmly at our entrance. Tyros and I have staked out two very comfortable chairs in the tavern and find it a wonderful place to go and relax. I wish that more people would come there to visit though. I think they are truely missing out on the wonders of what a beautiful building it is. Valorie has hinted that a new addition is coming. I can not wait to see what part of our hall opens up next.

We have also been working on our first guild event. I think it will be very exciting to be back in the planning mode of an event again. That is something I had missed doing in the kindred. We had such wonderful events in the past and hopefully we can do that here in the Advocates as well.

Well I must get back to slaying Horrors now. I want to gain more experiences and I think that each Horror I slay shows Balthy how little I think of him, and how I will never be intimidated by him again.

Lucy

Dearest Journal

As much as I have thought about it I still can not think of a name fitting enough for you. I shall continue to think and I am sure that someday the right name will just come to me

Tyros gave me the sweetest present today. Oh it is so beautiful. He made it for me to hold my lockpicks in. It is made from the most beautiful pink and white colored seashell that he found deep within the Sea Caves. When I hold it directly in the sunlight a pealescent coating shimmers over the shell creating a rainbow of colors. He attached a platinum clasp to the section that opens and there is an "L" inscribed into the clasp. On the inside, pink silkspun material is laid into both the top and bottom. There are are 5 small pieces of a broken lockpick that hold the other lockpicks into place. The most beautiful part has to be the small diamond that is set into the topside material. The letters "TL" are stiched below the diamond.

I felt like I was going to end up in tears when Tyros gave me this beautiful gift. I know he has placed a lot of time and effort into crafting it. I am so lucky to have him around. He renews my hope that everything will be okay.

Love Lucy.

Dear Journal

Why is starting over so hard to do...I still find my heart aching for things I once had. Is this hole always going to remain in my heart? Or will it heal someday?

I feel so lost journal...I don't know what to do....How can it be gone, just completely gone?

No matter what I did...it never seemed to be enough. In the end...it wasn't enough. I am sorry that I failed you

**tied here is a green ribbon. On it are three circles forming a symbol.**

Dear Journal,

I should give you a name. Perhaps I will think of one suitable for you soon my dearest friend. I don't know where I would be without you my journal. Each of the moments when I feel like everyone else in the lands have betrayed me, you are still here, faithfully listening and helping me get through the tough days.

I was having fun playing in the inn with Maria until some very rude men decided to ruin our fun. I never in my life had heard such rude comments come from folks in these lands. I remember the days when those who had been in the lands longest were truely respected and questioned for their experiences rather than mocked for their taste in fashion.

Perhaps I am a bit different from others. I know I must be cautious as I dress because of my firey red hair, but I had never had a complaint before. Most people enjoyed the point that my dress clashed with my hair and made it stand out. Perhaps I should just go back to wearing my plain red dress, allowing my hair and clothing to blend into one color. No matter what I wear I will never be able to blend into the background.

*small doodles are here in swirls as if the writer was pondering for a few moments before continuing with her thoughts*

At least there are still a few good men in these lands. One in particular who I only knew as an aquaintance through a my guild sister took it upon himself to defend me. He is truely a kind soul....tis a shame there are not more such as him in these lands anymore.

What has happened to those who I knew for so long when I first entered these lands? It seems those around are not even the same sort anymore. Such questions consistently fill my mind as I walk these lands. Now that I am topped out in level I had hoped to enjoy time in the inn with friends. It seems even that may not be possible. Perhaps I will just continue to hide out here in my guild hall for a while.

I must go for now my dearest journal.

Love,
Lucy.

Dear Journal

I finally did it! I felt like I was never going to make it out of those sea caves! I can't believe I did it! I reached level 60! I am so excited about having achieved it. It seems like it took so long to get here! Maria threw a party for me when I leveled. She gave me the prettiest necklace. She even engraved it for me. "For Lucy, who might be topped out, but can't be topped!".

I went back to the forge and upgraded my Ultimate Weapon for the last time. I feel so accomplished. This has been a goal of mine for so long. Now I plan to relax for a while. Perhaps spend some time with some of my friends whose friendships I seem to have let slip through the cracks while I have been working and training so hard.

I sure hope I am able to find my friends to spend time with them. I haven't seen to much of them lately. It seems like they have all been just as busy as I have. Well journal I don't have much else to say and I am exauhsted from training so hard. I think I am going to drink another ale and take a nice long nap.

I will talk to you soon my dear journal!

Love,
Lucy

Dear Journal

I finally reached my 59th level. It is hard to believe that I have been in these lands long enough to achieve this. I have been playing around with my new armor. It is so light but strong. I can not wait to achieve my last level. It is going to be a true great accomplishment for me! Something I have worked so hard for so long.

I have found myself struck by the most dashing rogue lately. He treats me so well. I made him a braided necklace with some of the seashells and gems I found in the sea caves while I was training. I haven't been able to give it to him yet. I hope he likes it. I am nervous to give it to him. I fear he might not really like it. I am sure I am just doubting myself for no reason.

Astria has taken over as leader of the Kindred Circle and my dear Chryseas has gone off on another traveling adventure. I miss her so much. She really was my true sister at the heart. I sometimes wonder how I make it in these lands without her. She means so very much to me. I pray to the gods daily that she is kept safe in her travels. I don't know what I would do with myself if something truely happened to her.

I have a lot of confidence in Astria. I know she is going to do well as leader. I have vowed to myself no matter how much I miss my dear Chrys I will help Astria as much as I possibly can.

Arkadie decided to leave the Kindred as well. I miss her dearly but still see her around Valorn occassionally. I lean on her quite frequently, especially now that Chrys is not here. She is my best friend and my support in these lands, I do hope that her new guild home treats her right.

Well, my dearest journal. I must get some rest for now. More training lies ahead of me before I can reach that illustrius level of power.

Love always.

Lucy.

Dearest Journal

I have neglected you for so long. Allowing you to sink to the bottom of my pack. I have came back into the lands. I realized though there is much here that I don't like, and lingerings of that still are around, it is worth my happiness to ignore the drearyness and be with my friends.

I returned to the land and to my hunting. I gained another level of power and found a beautiful sea mask. The jewels sparkle so nicely when I am out in the sun. I do have to admit that it is truely beautiful.

So many things have changed in this land. So many new guilds around that I know not what to think about most of them. I see so many of my friends who have changed their loyalties. I am not quite sure what to make of that. Its so strange with so many new guilds around.

A good friend of mine happened across a box. I was so intently curious about the box and he teased me with it for days upon end before finally letting me play with it. I was so shocked when a cute duck poped out of the box and followed me around the inn for a while. Everyone had so much fun playing with the duck in the inn.

I seem to have bits of pieces missing from my life. People who no longer frequent the land. This saddens me but I know that people must sometimes move on. I suppose it just surprises me since I did decide to come back to the land even after leaving for a short time. It is amazing to think that so many things change and others stay the same. This land is truely amazing.

I leave you with these random thoughts for now journal but I promise not to neglect you for so long next time.

Love,
Lucy

Dear Journal

I feel like I am loosing my mind. Each direction I turn there is a reminder of something that once was and is no more. I can't take it...The pain is so much...All these reminders. I know others must move on and make due with what they can but why does it hurt so much. I feel like finding a place where I can be alone and curling up and crying......I haven't cried for so long...I have tried to be strong...I don't know how much longer I can put on the strong face....I just can't do it much longer.

Love always

Lucy

Dear Journal...

I have decided. It took me a long time, and many concerned friends speaking to me. A vacation is what I need...A break from the reality. But where will I go? I have no homeland to return to...Not to speak of anyways. I have no real life outside this land....Where will I go? I have to decide....So little time...The more that passes the more my soul yearns to be somewhere else.

I spoke to one of my dearest friends and she reminded me of how much I have done in this land. It made me realize that I could never leave and not look back. It made me think...It is a scary thought to me of leaving this land. My memory fails me much further than my arival here. I have no real memories of life before except Arkadie, whom a friend reminded me of and I manged to get a letter to...and my scar. This awful...hideous scar. Will I ever learn the true origin of the scar. Chances are that I won't. Perhaps that is what I should do with myself over my vacation. Seek out the answers to the questions and flashbacks in my head. Suppose I will find any answers? Oh journal what would I do without you to write my innermost thoughts and worries into? I must go now...Sit and ponder this idea...Perhaps seeking out the answers to the questions will bring me back with a happy spirit. One that will let me be free again. Or perhaps it will make me think about how well off I am here. How much I have learned and developed this land into my home. Either way...I think I know what must be done. I am off to ponder these thoughts. Oh how I wish someone would just tell me the answers instead of forcing me to seek them for myself.

Love always,
Lucy

Dear Journal,

I am torn in feelings right now. My soul wishes to move on but my body and heart here in this land do not wish to let go. I know that deep down it is time. I know that this land is not as it once was and that I must inevitably leave in search of a new place to make my home. My heart aches each time I think of this. How can I make this journey, how can I do it? I can't imagine the pain of not seeing my loved ones from this land every day. That pain seems unbearable to me, but at the same time it seems just another obsticle I must face. I dont' know how to tell those who I love that I must do this. I fear they won't understand. I fear they will forget about me. I plan to visit...Not frequently but I do plan to visit. My soul may leave this land but my heart will forever remain loyal here. Is this just another crazy quest in my search for self realiziation? Perhaps.... Oh journal, you have been so faithful to me. Allowing me to spill my innermost secrets. How now can I really write these words in you when it tears me up inside. I feel so much pain just looking at what I write. Oh journal....how can this be? How can it be that a land I once loved with all my heart now gives me such feelings of pain and anguish? How can I face another day knowing that once I tell my loved ones this news they are going to be upset. I never like to hurt others....I don't want to do it...I must...I can't...I must...I can't.....Oh what am I going to do?

Love forever and always....

Lucy.

Dear Journal

I was able to walk around a bit today. I still have an awful scar on my leg...I imagine it will never leave me. Memories to me of this horrid time. I am so thankful to the gods for the strength I feel now. So much better than the weak state I was in for so long. I miss my dearest Galad. I haven't seen him for days...I can not wait to see him...

It seems time slips away so quickly these days. Day after day I sit and heal and walk these lands. Where does time go?

Lucy.

*the writing on this page is very messy as though the person writing it were weak when she wrote the words. The further through the passage you read the worse the writting becomes. It looks as though she put every bit of strength she had into writing this.*

Dear Journal.

The worst imaginable thing has happened. I was hunting in the tombs as I often do and my spells of light fell off. I was already sleepy as always and I headed for the exit so I could go take a nap. Before I could reach the exit a wretch attacked me. He cut my leg. The second I looked down though all was dark I could see and feel the hot blood coming out of the deep wound. I felt myself weakening as I crawled for the exit. I finally made it out and called for Alisha. She told me she was in the forest sancutary so I made my way there loosing more strength with each step. I collapsed into the middle of the forest sanctuary the wound on my leg bleeding worse and worse. I was in so much pain I barely remember Chrys showing up to help Alisha carry me to the guild hall. I have not left the guild hall for a couple days now. The pain is still excruiciating but I can feel myself healing and getting better with each of Alisha's visits. Alisha, Chrys and my dear Galad have been so wonderful to stay by my side. I sometimes think they are there watching over me when I can not even tell.

Galad, bless his heart, has been so worried about me. He has been faithful to me to stay by my side when I know he would much rather be at the inn or in the tombs hunting. I can not thank him enough for staying by my side....I do love him so much...

I must go now. Alisha has told me that I am not stong enough to write anymore.

Love always,
Lucy

Dear Journal

I miss my dearest Galad. We have not been able to spend as much time together as I would like lately. It is mostly my fault..I am so tired...all the time tired. I feel like all I want to do is sleep. Is something wrong with me that I am not aware of? Perhaps I should visit a cleric. I am just unsure of what to think. I do know that with everything I have been through I have never felt this way. I feel like I am missing out on so much because all I want to do is sleep. Oh journal what am I going to do? If I don't get out of this I will just sleep my life away!!!

Lucy

Dear Journal

I carry with me so many tokens of friendship...I feel it is time to place them here where they will never be lost.

First I must talk of this scar on my hand. It is my commitment in friendship and sisterhood to both Demelza and Velvet. I know it is here and shall never forget my two dear blood sisters.

Next there is this small silver ring *the ring is now tied to the journal along with her many other momento's* This ring is from Galihad. He mentored me in my newest days here in Valorn. He gave me this ring as a symbol of our friendship. It was the first ring I ever recieved here in Valorn. I shall treasure the symbolism behind it always.

*a rose is pressed into the page here* This rose was sent to me by Zanaan. It has been and always will be my reminder of what was.

This beautiful necklace was made for me specially by Groloth. I will never forget the love and time that we shared. We may not be together anymore, but his friendship is so dear to me. He crafted this necklace for me himself shortly after he changed his proffession and began his long walk as a noble cleric. I stood proudly by his side and supported him through that horrendous pain. *a special necklace crafted on beautiful string is tied here. There are green jewels and ice crystals deftly attached*

Never will I forget the day when I adopted the bunny version of my best friend in all of Valorn. Skils and I had so much fun playing with her as she was a bunny and she will forever be my "pet" in her bunny form. *a picture of a bunny with the name Chryseis Fyre written above it is drawn here.*

My dear friend Sofia Whispers. She and I had so much fun playing together. I will never forget her or the fun we had together. *a small jar of paste and carrot flakes is in the bottom of her pack*

Stara and I became friends so quickly. She is such a kind soul and was kind enough to gift me with this cute teddy jaguar. I will forever keep it in my pack and sleep with it when I am afraid. I have named this Jaguar "Fluffy the Ferocious".

All those who helped me collect my WPs so I could weild my Ultimate Weapon. Never will I forget you. Tyros, Arkadie, Shaun, Kira, Velvet and of course Groloth.

Never shall I forget the kindness of my friend Jaaay when he helped me defeat my first GrCG. It gave me a dull crystal but that dull was very well earned.

My second GrCG which I killed with the help of Kalea and Groloth gave me the crystal I needed to gain my Ultimate Weapon. Never will I foget your kindness.

I will forever treasure my friends in the SOA. I consider myself a proud member.

I remember my first encounter with Bobo. He tossed bannanas and other things at me and I continued to come back for more. He finally dubbed me his friend and I will continue to visit him whenever I get a chance.


I feel that is enough of my momento's for now dear journal. I know that you will keep them safe for me.

Lucy

Dear Journal..

I finally saw her awake..Dear Maji..Everyone has spoken so well of her and I could not wait to meet her. I woke up for a few marcs this afternoon and was lucky enough to see her. We spoke shortly and I was amazed at her kindness...She truely is the beacon of light and kindness that everyone describes her to be. I really can not wait to get to talk to her further.

I must admit I have been feeling tired these past few nights. Perhaps my training is all catching up with me. A few days of good sleep and I am sure that I will be up and running around again.

I miss Galad dearly when I sleep...We often miss eachother in our times awake. He is always on my mind and I am sending my love to him even when he is sleeping. I do hope for his rest to be peacefull as my own has been.

I find my appreciation for each of my friends growing fonder. Each of them holds this special place in my heart where I care for them and nuture our friendships. Even I have found myself feeling bitter towards certain friends at times, but when I realize that they are a true friend with this place in my heart I can do nothing but open up my heart to them again. Your true friendships are the one thing that no one can ever take away from you...I know that my friendships are cherished deeply by me.

My friendships and my love Galad are the two most important things in all of Valorn to me...They are the things that I know no one can ever take away from me. I am blessed by the gods...I truely am.

I suppose I should get some rest now dear journal. I look forward to the future...I know that my friends and my love Galad will carry me through anything that could ever come my way.

Lucy

Dear Journal

It is official. Galad and I are to be bonded. We are now making plans. We are taking our time with our engagement but I truely can not wait for the bonding. I have never been this in love with anyone. He has truely captured my heart in a way that no other could.

We now wear matching engagement rings to show our commitment to eachother.

**there is a sketch here of two promise rings interlocked with one another**

I am happier now than I have really been in a long time journal. I truely feel as if things have finally gone right in my life.

Lucy.

My dearest Sofia Whispers...Though you might be no longer here in the lands with me I shall always have a tube filled with carrott flavored paste in my pack for you.

**the writing on this page is very flowery. The writer was obviously very happy as she wrote these words**

Dear Journal

He missed me as I spent a few days sleeping. We would miss eachother as we awoke. I was so happy to be back in his arms again. I felt as if there was no place in all the world I would rather be.

He asked me to never leave his side again...I told him if it was what he wanted I never would....Then to my shock...He dropped to one knee...He asked me to be his...I accepted..

I have accepted his heart. I love Galad so much. I could not be happier.

**the entire page is surrounded in flowery drawings of hearts in pairs**

~~Love Lucy~~

Dear Journal

I have most wonderful news! A new STAR has been born by Chrys and I.

Lucy

**there is nothing on this page but a sketch. The entire page is surrounded by a border of hearts swirling into one another. The sketch shows 2 people cuddled together in sand. They are gazing up at the most beautiful stars. The people are drawn with much care. One has short dark hair and wings drawn lightly around him. The other is drawn with a dress flowing around her. Her hair is long, wild and curly as it blows in the wind. The stars are obviously shining down on these two bathing them in soft light. Each bit of this sketch has been done with much care.**

Dear Journal

**the thoughts are written just as they came from the writter. The page smells a bit of ale and of the inn**

When you hurt someone you care about...No matter how much you try not to it still leaves a stinging pain in your heart.

I often wonder about my life. I sit for Marcs on end wondering how I got to where I am today. So many friendships..Without them I would never be where I am today. Friends are our lifeline in this land. This is one thing I know for sure.

I worry for many of my friends...Though things are supposedly better than what I think.

My Guardian Angel...I could not ask for more. He is so strong...such a mighty warrior. I know that I am safe with him. The feeling of being with him is like no other.

I just wish that others understood this feeling the way that I do.

I have taken to spending more time in the inn. It is surprising how things have changed here since I first found myself at this land. I remember when you could pop in to the inn at any time and it would always be lively with conversation. Nowdays it does seem as though singing and dancing prevail...but only in the wee hours of the morning.

Dancing....It is something I enjoy...though I am clusmy for a rogue I have been told.

Singing...This is not my way..I can not sing...I tried...Stara made me...It was not a lovely sound that came from me...It sounded instead like some sick animal howling.....

I have seen my world spinning around me. People change so quickly it does seem. I see those who were once the entire world to me do things I never would have thought them too. Where does this leave me among this spinning everchanging land? Where is my place among this crazyness?

Perhaps my dear Guardian Angel shall help me find it.

**the words are a bit smudged all over the page making reading hard**

Lucy

Dear Journal

Oh Journal...Today I attended the most beautiful bonding cerimony. JKD and Shannara were bonded today. Dear Sylent One preformed the cerimony...Oh it was just beautiful.

I could not be happier for JKD and Shannara...They just seemed the happiest couple ever. Perhaps someday I shall find that happiness.

Sylent One...her words...They were just beautiful. I was truely touched to be at this bonding...It was beautiful.

*there are soft swirling drawings seperating the page here*

Yesterday...My heart made a choice. I had no way to change this choice. I knew that all I could do was follow my heart...find happiness....

I fear that I have hurt someone who has been dear to me for a long time....When my heart questioned us...what more could I do?

I know that we both shall move forward...His friendship...That is the one thing I could not stand to be without.

From this day forth Journal...I am going to be as understanding as I can.

I dreamed of a Guardian Angel again last night....A beautiful, strong Guardian Angel.

Lucy

**There is a string tied to this page. Tied to the string is a small promise ring.**

Dear Journal..

I never knew there were so many layers to ones heart. The heart is truely amazing...it can be broken and healed...

I have been through pain with the one who gave me this ring...I loved him but he never promised to take things further..What is a promise when it does not progress it further?

I spend my days in N'rolav...I have a friend......a very good friend...who visits me often there. Last night...he told me he felt more for me than just as a friend....I had to admit the feelings were returned on my half. I was shocked to hear his words..but I am glad that he has told me....

The heart is truely amazing.

I look forward to the days to come journal..I shall tell you of them...

I only worry for one friend...one dear friend...I must find her today...I must speak to her...

**these words are written in beautiful writing as if much care was taken as they were written**

...A Guardian Angel...

~~Lucy~~

Dear Journal.

Balthazar...one of the most dreaded creatures ever. I find myself training in N'rolav as I usually am these days. All of the sudden it all goes dark...I know not what is happening. I try to continue training. Dirk Mission...he enters the area...his light..it combined with mine to show me the most dreaded of all creatures... Balthazar...He was right there...Standing there...Watching me train. I screamed as I saw him...He cursed me. A horrid curse....making me weaker...slower..my mind fuzzy. He then ran...I followed and so did Dirk. When Balthazar realized we were chasing him he threw a demon at us. Dirk and I slayed the demon and kept chasing him. He ran through the N'rolav forest and towards the dark tree. I thought to myself "Oh no! He is headed for town!!" He went through the portal towards town and went just south of the dark tree and disappered into the shadows. Dirk, myself and many others searched for him but we could not find him. I was so angered....I wanted revenge for his attacking me while I trained. I vow that I will get him back....He will not get away with terrorizing us forever!

~~Lucy

Dear Journal

I had heard so many stories. I could not take it anymore. Finally I just talked to him about it. It hurt me even to bring it up to one I care so much for. Everyone would tell me of his flirting and it was a dagger to my heart each time. I spoke to him for many marcs. I told him my concerns. I told him how I was torn up inside. He did not know what to do. Neither did I. Finally he walked away saying we just needed some time apart. He was going to think about things and work on himself.

I felt heartbroken and headed off to N'rolav to train. It seems at times as if training is the only thing I can manage to do correctly. I have for the past several days just taken up the spider caves as my home. Perhaps I belong there better than anywhere else.

Today I trained enough to achieve my next level. I headed off to the trainer where Groloth and I have advanced so many times. We had never done so alone since we have been together. It just did not feel right being there alone. When I walked up to Isla I found Groloth there. He had been training and had decided to achieve his level this day as well. We spoke about how it is not the same being there alone. He took my hand in his and we advanced together. He achieved his 34th level and I my 48th. It is hard to believe how far we have come.

After we advanced he asked me to come to his guild hall to the dungeon and talk to him. I walked back to Dundee with him and we spoke for many marcs in the dungeon. He told me he had been thinking and hurting very much over the past few days. I told him I had as well. It is hard to go through the trials in this land without someone there to support you. He told me he could not bear seeing me sad and was going to work to make it so I would never be that way again. He asked for my forgiveness and I granted it. I am happy to have him by my side again.

I do hope that things are meant to be the way I wish for them to be with the two of us. I suppose I can only see what the future hold for us. It is hard for me seeing so many being bonded. I wonder if their love is strong. I wonder if they are happy. I envy for what they have. Is that wrong journal? Is it wrong to feel this way?

On a different note journal I have made a new friend in this land. My time in N'rolav I have gotten to know Galad. He is a warm soul who understands pain as much as I do. I truely enjoy our talks.

I hope that this is truely a ray of sunlight in my bleakness of life. It seems sometimes that I feel as though I am walking in total darkness.

~~Lucy~~

Dear Journal

Another friend is leaving. I feel at a loss for what to do. My friends from my youngest days here. This person is dear to me. She was supposed to be my sponsor into the world of rogueship. She showed me much of what I know today. She got called away on family bussiness for a few days before I was able to gain my profession and she actually missed it but she has forever held the spot of truest rogue in my heart. I do not know what to do with myself anymore. I feel as though I am falling into the deepest pits of despair with my friends all leaving me. Waterfall..my dear friend, I am going to miss you.

*the page is a bit blotted and the writing shakey*

Lucy