Of all the thoughts and ideas bouncing around in my head, one word sticks out right now: Simplicity.

I've always been a pretty simple guy, and I seem to like and gravitate towards the simple things. To me they always mean the most, they make the biggest difference. Sometimes a whisper has more effect then a shout after all. It's not that I don't like more complicated or complex things, I do enjoy them sometimes, but in the end I always finding myself wanting or even craving that simplicity. Maybe it's my upbringing that made me that way, learning to be content with the small things because we never had much so I learned that those small moments have value as well.

A soft place to land after a long hard turn, just sitting somewhere having simple conversation-talking about nothing important but saying more than the most intense conversations, just being content to relax and lounge around without a long list hovering over my head, things slowing down once in a while instead of being warp speed, knowing that you can say anything at all with no worries of repercussions...its not wrong to want that right? To grab it when you find the chance to have it?

For so long I have done what I could for other people, to do everything I could to make others happy...because that always made me happy too. For the first time I find myself being a bit selfish, knowing what I want and just accepting that, and taking the chance to have it and it is such a weird and almost freeing thing. I still want to make people happy don't get me wrong, and I still want to do everything I can for people but i realize I have to take some time for myself, or I risk losing myself all over again and that's terrifying. And I know a thing or two about scary, I've lived through some intense and scary stuff, and looking at myself and no longer knowing who I am...was the worst thing I've experienced.