I have come to realize that while I do not want to be alone, I will never be or have a bondmate. The sad reality is that I have no true concept of what it means or is to BE someone's bondmate in this world. What one is expected to do, how one is expected to act, because how I was raised is so different then here. Where I was raised a woman is expected to run her bondmates household, make sure things are in proper order, make sure the servants did their duties, make sure things are always tidy, and if there are children, make sure they are trained, taught their roles as they were expected in that world. The woman there is, basically a glorified personal servant of her bondmate, tend to his needs, his desires above their own. Be arm ornament at parties, well behaved, organized, and pretty so as not to embarrass your bondmate. A woman there could be replaced, or beheaded if she were to disobey. And if you were not pretty enough for that, you were put with an older man to look after him until he passed, then you could finally do as you wished. Women here have so much more freedom, and while that is great, I've no concept, no example of how that actually WORKS, what one actually does in a relationship? And to be honest, that scares me. So when faced with it, I turn to the only things I do KNOW in THIS world, my magic, helping others, farming, and protecting the lands. Because that is all I am good at here. So I guess, I resign myself to being alone.