Sometimes I wonder why I even try. Why I even exist any more. Seems like every time I TRY and do something right I inevitably mess it all up. Ended up hurting a friend, got accused of trying to sabotage their happiness, which couldn't be more wrong. I know what it is like to be lonely, I know what it is like to feel like you may never find someone who makes you smile, laugh, or just feel... important again. So why would I purposely hinder someone else having that? I envy them, yes. But not to the point of trying to take it away from them. Sometimes I wish, I never came to Valorn, maybe I could have figured things out where I was. But, I know I would have died there, and not the kind of death adventures know, but one as a villager would know. But even then... sometimes I feel as if I am dying here too, a little at a time. Seems every time I am around people I make things worse for them. Makes stronger my belief I am better off alone.