I am worried now...it seems like they will be moving along soon and...still nothing...I think maybe it may actually be fortuitous...the man Xesha was married off to is someone much feared...when he has gone with his entourage, I may have a chance of getting information from someone from another band or caravan who has passed here at the oasis for a while. Much as i hate to watch that hateful man's back retreat...I can do nothing without more knowledge...so i bide my time...and my thoughts turn to home...I have much time to think, to dwell on who I've left behind...the timing was awful and unlucky but I had no choice...I made promises to Xesha just as i did to Moira...I intend to keep both, for if I fail to keep one, how can I be trusted to keep the other? One to the sister of my heart, the other to one who holds a piece of my heart..neither will I treat without care...I can only hope that our bond is strong as time that seems to pass like honey, slow and sticky, ever entangling us deeper in its mire...

I am in hiding but managed to make the as ashing site under cover of darkness. As I knelt there, with my whole soul opened up to embrace the sand, I cried for my dear lost friend. Guards are all around the tents of her husband and I can get nowhere near. I must stay hidden for now...I cannot be certain if I can find anyone sympathetic . I will bide my time some longer in hopes another friend or one who was close to her in her last days...

I so hate being away, I hope Moira has found solace in friends. If she feels she cannot wait for my return, I suppose I should be happy fir her but...I can't. ..it would cut me too deep...but as it is...there us not much I could do to prevent t her moving on. *wipes away anticipatory tears*

I couldnt bear leaving the lands again, having only just returned from Moira's family...but my best friend, the one who understood...who got why I had to leave home...I had a missive from an anonymous source that she had died suddenly...she was to be married off after my leaving and now...I don't know what to think...I feel...back then I was not prepared for such things...but now...now I at least hope I can visit her ashing site and be with her spirit...at most right the wrong...

I miss Moira desperately, but, not knowing what might lie in wait on my return to this home i so despise, I did not want to risk bringing her along...far more dangerous than highwaymen...my leaving was not encouraged...it was secret...I ran from my family and culture and I do not know what if any welcome I will receive or if I will be driven off or possibly attacked and trapped. She does not deserve this worry, but she also does deserve to be where she is most herself without worry for undue harm...I know there are many looking out for her in Valorn...and I hold this hope in my heart that she is still waiting upon my return. My heart aches at this separation, but...it is something I must do.