The last few turns have made such a difference in me. I've been blessed with some amazing friends! We talked and relaxed and talked and swam and relaxed in the warm summer breezes and joked and laughed and....

....and for once I stopped tearing myself up for my failure to fit into the mold of the perfect cleric. I'm not, and I know I never will be. But there are places I can go and people who accept me and love me for who I am--mistakes and blatant imperfections and all. Isn't it time I let myself be happy for having them instead of tormenting myself about my flaws?

I've kept myself apart for too long. It's made me awkward and impulsive, and I've made mistakes because of it all. There is one mistake I am determined never to make again.

As for the rest--all those vows--by following them I've only succeeded in distancing myself from others. How could I ever imagine I could become a good cleric by doing that? Or even a good person?

Oh, journal..my secret confidant...no one will ever read what I've written to you here. But I'm not alone with you anymore. In fact, I finally, joyfully realize that I never really was alone.