I was asked today why I wanted to be so strong, why I was in a rush to make it as high as I could. Was it just to be the first cleric to do so? I could say that, and I did. But in all honesty, it is far deeper than that. The person who asked the question knows how it feels to be weak, to feel like life is beyond your control at one time, to have people over them make them feel worthless just because they could. I guess since I never knew my mother and the man who sired me didn't want me around without my mother. I can never remember him being kind to me, always abusing me when he was around, blaming me for her death. Always calling me worthless, saying he wished I had died instead of her. I hid from him so often I think there are turns he forgot he had a daughter, to which those turns I was glad. But being so weak then, I guess pushes me to be strong now. Even though I know I AM strong, it's like a part of my mind always says it's not enough. Will it ever be? Even if I reach as high as I can go? Probably not. But I don't know what else to do.