It's been an interesting year for sure, difficult yes, but I have finally found a place that feels like home, a place of my choosing. Not because someone I cared for was there. Not that I don't have friends here already, I do. But that's different than joining somewhere for someone else. I asked to join the guild, Twilight Serenity, and they accepted me! And right now, I couldn't be happier! It is nice to have family again, and the warm welcome I've received has been wonderful. I fear though, that I may get lost within the halls of my new home a few times though... it's huge! But SO very beautiful. There is so much to explore and enjoy there, I know I will be happy here, even if I am happily lost in my own new home.

My bondmates best friend has been healed! The gods be praised! While talking with him I realized why I have been struggling with guilds so much right now...I've never been in a guild where it was about the guild I was there for. It was always a single person I was there for! When I first in the lands I joined the Vanguard because that was papa Low's guild. When I met my first love Silver, I followed him to the Serendipitous and after he was gone, I struggled with my place there. But even later when I fell in love again and my heart being with my bondmate Daven and he joined me there... My place and comfort in that guild was just was never the same. My friends Aryana, Loki, and Lavender had always said I could be a bunny if I ever needed a home, so I tried that... and I just couldn't take the step to become a full bunny and get ears and a tail... It wasn't home. So here I am guild less again. I do not know where I will end up, I don't know where home will be. So, I guess until I figure that out, I will just wander the lands.

I made the decision to finally be guild less again until I truly find my home. Being in the bunnies helped me a lot, but it was never home, I never could make that step to become a full bunny with permanent ears and tail. Not without my bondmate since he was the one who suggested it. Not sure if I will ever find that home again. I was a part of my bondmates guild a LONG time. But life is change. So, I shall flow along its path and see where it takes me next. Lately I have been sitting around and trying to keep a vigil with friends, for my bondmates best friend, he needs healing prayers. I pray to the gods what he has to do to lift his curse works.

The new bad guys are hurting adventurers, it is kind of scary. A few turns back Riley told me.to watch out for myself because he knew they were taking adventuring clerics. Yet he was the one taken a long with my bondmates best friend Taven. All I was told was they were kidnapped and something was taken, I wasn't told what. So I tried to contact both of them and offer my sympathy and my support if they wanted it. I would have done anything to help. I wish there was something I could do to help them, but even being a healer there is only so much a battle ready cleric can do, the clerics in Branishor are so much better for that type of injury. Anyway, one was kind in return, the other bitter and angry. I was so shocked I cried when I got back home. Not sure why I let it affect me so, perhaps because the person was once a.friend.

My soul longs for my bondmate, it has been far too long since I've seen his face. I fear my decision to leave the guild affected him far more than he thought, now he doesn't even wake. And the longing for him causes a physical ache in my soul, only time I don't feel the ache and sadness is when I sleep, so the depression causes me to not be fully conscious in the lands for long. I know I made the right decision for me. The happy guild I loved before became quiet as a tomb, and because of my past actions I felt it was my fault. So I did what I thought would be best for them, as well as for myself, and being that I heard they got new members, I suppose I was was right to leave. I am honestly glad, just because I couldn't stay doesn't mean I don't want them to flourish. I just don't know what this will mean for my love and me. How can we make things work if we don't see each other. I don't want to lose another bondmate, I barely survived my despondent depression the first time, will I survive another loss if he chooses not to come back? I honestly don't know.

Not much has happened in the lands lately. I did join a new guild, the bunnies, but not sure I will stay here or not. I guess it depends on my bondmate when he decides what he wants to do. I know, I cannot go back, I tried to make things work while I was there, I honestly did. But it was no longer home, not sure it ever was. It was the person who was home, and when they left... even falling for someone else didn't make the SR home for me. I felt like I was living a lie, like the walls were closing in and I just had to get out. So, I chose to join the bunnies for now, as Lavender offered me a place with them, I also knew way back that I would go where my friend Aryana was, so I am content where I am. But I refuse to take bunny ears or tail without my bondmate. When Daven decides, whatever that decision is I will follow him. Unless he chooses to stay where he is... In that case I will take up the mantal as a bunny and finally get my ears and tail. As I cannot go back. Last turn was interesting though. It's been... about a cycle that I've chosen not to pay my taxes for a bit. Well, while wandering the lands looking for a place to farm easier in this gear, I found a cleric in Branishor trying to move around some gear from Carasa the Holy's shop, and he fumbled dropping several items as I was passing through. I noticed he was in need of help, so I stopped to help him finish his chore. And in return for my kindness, he blessed my non noble armor making it even better than my noble armor was! Not by much mind you, but still better. I was shocked to say the least! It was not necessary for him to do so; I would have helped even without getting something in return as most should. But he did it anyway. This shows good deeds and being kind are still appreciated.

Not sure what to do or where to go now. Change is good, but can also be confusing. But such is life I suppose, without change there can be no growth.

It was past time for a change. Went and finally looked at Papa's "Cabin" as he offered for me to stay there, think the inn would be cleaner. Spring is coming, time for growth, renewal, and a fresh start. I hope the turns ahead will be good and filled with joy, not strife.

Thank goodness I have been farming a lot lately, I got a crystal, and from the crystal I got a helm mod from the machine... well the mod ruined my helm! So, as I said thank goodness, I've been farming I was able to buy a new helm to replace the one I ruined with the mod.

I can't believe I've done it! The highest level of training one can currently obtain is now mine! I worked so hard, even though I was told to slow down... and I did, for a bit. But alas I was too excited to meet my goal! Near the end of last turn, I was able to see the trainer. Now I only need to farm to replenish the plat I spent on my new armor. It is an amazing day, and I cannot stop smiling!