It seems the longer I dally, the more difficult it comes for me to return...

I could take their anger - anger at me leaving all unannounced and such. I could handle the tears, tantrums and screaming.

Ideally of course, I would prefare for those whom I adore to be over-joyed at my returning. To send frantic birds flying to find me, to insist we go and sit and drink in a quiet place, and 'catch up' on all that I have missed. To tell me how glad they are that I have came back.

Oh gods... Do not give me indifference. Please do not give me indifference. I shall die if I am condemned to their indifference. Did any really care I went away?