“I open my eyes and all is peaceful and still. I feel arms about me though there is no-one there. Rather like the tales of an old farmer from my homeland who used to say he could still feel his arm below his elbow though it was no longer there for the feeling. It is a lovely cocooning feeling to stand and walk slowly while still having strong arms to protect and comfort you. It is warm here too. Though the light is gloomy, Sunrifter must surely be throwing his glory upon the land high above the leafy canopy. There are dappled pools of light to be seen here and there as the trees are slightly thinner. Looking back over my shoulder the gloom deepens and even Sunrifter cannot break through. Not fowl nor beast disturbs the peaceful slumber of the forest.

I move on towards the light that grows with every step I take South. I hug my arms over my chest to enfold the memory of those that held me. I can feel them as if they were surely there. I close my eyes a moment feeling blissfully safe and loved.

I hardly notice that the trees have all but petered out here. Sunrifter is revealed in all his splendour and I tilt my face up to receive his blessing with joy. I stand still with my eyes closed hearing the soft sighs of the grasslands, faint here, but their song growing louder and more hypnotic. I lay down my weapons and armour and walk on as if in a dream with my hands outstretched to feel the grass slip through my hands. It bends and sways to receive me and then gently closes up again swallowing me whole into its abundance.

I have lost all sense of where I am, yet it is not a frightening feeling. It is as though drifting on a calm sea. Warmth and peace and light. The soothing sounds just helping to make it feel the more comforting.

I am overwhelmed with drowsiness and thankfully lay down on the ground on my back, the obliging grasses parting and bending beneath me to make a soft cushiony bed. A gentle smile takes over my face and my eyes close gratefully.

That wonderful feeling of their dear arms comes to me again, much stronger this time. I feel their hands close gently over my upper arms almost holding me safe and sound where I lay. I make to shift my position slightly and find I cannot move. I feel my lips move. ‘I am safe dear, you do not need to hold so tight’.

Then I feel the hands clutch hard against my skin, my robes offering no protection. I feel myself bruising like overripe fruit. The arms that held me gently are crushing against me. Something is wrong - I try to open my eyes but remain in darkness. I realise then that my eyes are open - it is the land that is in darkness. Now I can feel other hands…. surely for my arms are still pinned and I can feel my ankles being gripped as in a vice. I can feel arms snaking over my legs and pulling me down!

But down into where?! I lay upon the ground - it is solid - yet no - it is not! I feel my mouth covered and cannot utter a sound. My eyes stare wide open in terror but see nothing. I feel the very land itself seeping over me. It is icily cold. Fingers - I hope - even in this madness I still hope they are fingers - dig into my flesh all over now. I cannot know how many hands. Hands are wound in my hair yanking my head back painfully as if they mean to rip it from my head, or pull my head from my body.
My chest compresses, I feel the air being expelled from my body. I am no longer breathing and yet I am surely alive for I am still feeling this hell.

Suddenly I know - I know where I am…. I thrust an arm up through the land - it protrudes and hangs in the evil air along with so many others. I cannot move - I am surely dead. And truly dead not to be reformed by my gods. I am under the command of another now. Nothing can help me - my soul is lost.

I hear voices far away. Trying to find me. I feel steps through the land on top of me: The heavy steps of a warrior’s boots. I can feel the vibrations moving through the earth. I hear a dear voice, muted, above me: Speaking of loss and despair. It moves away and comes back as if its owner is scouring the land. Every so often my numbed mind hears the sound of battle. My mind is shutting down. It is ready to die with my soul.

Just as I am about to pass I feel a small sensation. Not much, but it is a gentle pressure: Only on the fingertips of the arm above the ground. I am imaging it.

I let the arm go limp and yet it is still help erect by something. I can hear strange sounds. Suddenly I feel the panic of the dirt upon my face, in my nostrils, falling into my mouth. I will surely choke! I begin to move frantically trying to wriggle until I have some sort of freedom of movement from this cold grave. I feel my hand being moved this way and that as though someone is holding it while trying to do something with the other hand. I find I can move slightly more easily - the weight is lifting from my chest! I try and sit but it is too much and I lay where I am exhausted and frightened wondering what this new evil might be with no strength left to fight it whatever it is.

The pressure grows less and less and I am sure I feel something almost digging against me. A hand frantically brushing away the land that lies on me. I am sure now I can feel my hand being held above the ground. Firmly, but not painfully. It is a hand, for I can feel the fingers on that hand intertwining with my own. The suggestion of a voice grows clearer as the hand that has released me slips under my neck and gently lifts my head. I feel clods of dirt falling from my hair and skin. My hand is released. Those gentle fingers now gently brush my mouth and nose and ears free of the dirt. I try to open my eyes. That dear voice commands me not to. They do not want me to see whatever is here. I obey.

My breath comes to me drawing raggedly into my body in shallow gasps. They take my hand again more firmly and I feel soft lips touch my fingers. I feel the fingers tracing mine and my ring of hope. ‘I have found you’. A strong arm is slipped under my shoulders and another under my waist. I am gently pulled from the earth like a flower. I am laid on the ground briefly and I can feel that I lie upon bodies or parts of bodies that are all about me.

‘Do not open your eyes’. I shake my head slightly and keep them closed. I am lifted easily into strong gentle arms. My body rolls slightly towards the armoured chest. My eyes flutter open briefly and I close them against the shine of polished metal. My face feels good resting against the cold metal. A hand strokes my hair and I hear gentle words murmured as I feel myself borne away. I drift into an uneasy sleep.”

And when I awoke from this nightmare, all I could think of was those souls that I saw. Sorynn going to that place has brought it all back to me.

May the gods save us all.