Being at prayer these last long days would usually have calmed me. I confess it has not. It leaves me uncertain of many things. Uncertain of my future, uncertain of where my path is leading me. It takes me further away from those I love and seems to narrow so that there is barely room for one to walk it. It is overgrown with brambles, and weeds choke it so it can hardly be made out at all. The shadows fall over it to the point where all is dark.

How I long for Starling's quiet dark - if I ever knew where it was.

I should not be here in this room; it deserves no such presence.

I think I will take myself down to a different place.