So we were sitting in the building of glass, chatting and having a few drinks, and I said to him “let’s get bonded, right now.” We were going to do it before but there were things stopping us and getting in the way. He said “find us a cleric.” OK so that was the hard part, all the clerics we know were asleep. We didn’t give up and while I went off to the bank to get a few things, S woke up and was happy to perform the ceremony. I know we didn’t have vows written out or anything, but that's what made it more romantic, because we were talking from the heart. So I am now Sabrina Kinkle-Kenzie and I am the happiest person in the land right now. I am watching him sleeping now; he makes these funny little noises which make me love him more. While he is sleeping I should be down in the cave continuing my hunt for blue spells, but I love watching him sleeping and I can’t pull myself away from him.

Today has been pretty funny. I kind of had this idea that I poof too much. If I go somewhere and I get lost, I never take the time to try to find out where I am, I just poof and start again. So today I thought I would see how well I could cope without poofing. Well I decided I needed to get out of the spider cave for a bit, so I went for a wander, I have been walking all over the place today and it has been great. Then S suggested that I went to the glowing caves and explored a bit, so I invited her along and I have to say I have not laughed so much for a long time. It didn’t matter which way we went or where we tried to go, we just ended up back in the same place again.

Apart from that things have been going pretty well. My hunt for blue spells is a long one, but I know one day I will have all of them. I only have two left to get I think and then I can leave the spider cave for a while. I really don’t like spiders, they are evil, but I like squishing them.

Once again people are listening to the lies and gossip of a poisonous, small minded jealous person, instead of finding out the truth. I did not cheat on Drake but if people want to believe that, it's fine, because I don’t care. The people who matter, and whose opinion actually counts for something, all know the truth and anyone else just aren’t important enough for me to care about. I have moved on and I have asked her to leave me alone, but she is intent on spreading lies trying to make me look bad, and to be honest, I just don’t care anymore. She can knock herself out trying to get people to hate me, and it's great because I have real friends who will always stand by me no matter what. I love each and every one of them; they all know how much they mean to me and anyone else just isn’t worth worrying about. Life is hard enough without getting hassle or causing hassle for each other, there is no need for it. One day she might realise that.

So to all my friends, you are the greatest people in the world and I love you all. And to all the people who choose to believe the lies, that is your choice, maybe one day you will talk to me and find out the truth. And if not, it doesn’t matter because my friends will always be more important to me.

Well yesterday was kind of interesting. I don’t care who she thinks is, she has no right to come and have ago at me for something that I didn’t do, and she knows nothing about. I told her that she should keep out of things that don’t concern her and to take her lies somewhere else.

Any feelings I had for him went the moment she started opening her big mouth. All I need to do now is remove the big knife he left in my back, and everything will be great. He doesn’t see that what he did was wrong. He went to her behind my back, knowing that she hates me because she wants him. And he thinks it's ok to talk about me to her, I would never do that to him. I hope those two are happy together, and I really mean that.

We all make mistakes; my biggest mistake was telling him the truth. I thought it would be best to be honest with him. I thought it would show him that I had nothing to hide. I knew he would be upset and he had good reason to be, but I thought he would trust me. I wanted to scream at him that I love him; I wanted to beg him to stay. But I couldn’t find my voice and I had to walk away.

My every marc is now spent in the cave, the spiders are a good distraction and I need the distraction. I can’t stop for a single moment, I can’t think about what happened.

I know I have a decision to make, and I know what it will be, but I'm not ready to make it just yet.

But I am fine, I can hide behind a smile and show the whole world that I am strong.

Well where do I start? I guess I should start at the beginning and explain what happened the other day. Well to start with D and me had a huge argument. He was being distant with me for a few days but said I was the one being distant, I don’t know maybe we were both doing it. He wanted to know every little thing that was going on in my head and there were things I couldn’t tell him. He said obviously I didn’t trust him and left. I got upset then and didn’t want to talk to him. He said that I talk to everyone else but I never talk to him, which isn’t true because I do talk him more than I talk to anyone else. He just doesn’t understand that there are some things that are better left unsaid. I didn’t want to leave things that way so I told him we needed to talk. And I tried but we were just going around in circles, we weren’t getting anywhere. I was getting more upset and he was getting more frustrated. Then he said he couldn’t get his head around us keeping things from each other and said we should just be friends. So I threw the ring back at him and left. He called after me to come back, but I was too hurt and needed to be alone to cry. After a few marcs Sy told us to meet him and Hin at the hall, D went but I just couldn’t face it. I went in the end because I wanted to try and work things out. But we didn’t get anywhere. He said I should tell him everything and if I can only talk to one person it should be him. I tried to make him see that it wasn't that simple but he just didn’t get it. Things were weird between us in the guild after that and I knew there would come a point where one of us would have to leave. I said since D had been there from the start I should be the one to go, and then we had another argument because he said he would. I said I know well enough that you should never make any kind of decision when you are hurt or angry and we should give it a few days to calm down first.

I was like a zombie, I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t train, I couldn’t farm, all I could d was sit in the guild hall and think of him. My heart was shattered into a million tiny pieces and there was nothing I could do to take the pain away. I slept badly that night and couldn’t do anything when I woke. I spent the day sitting in the guild hall thinking about him and trying not to break down.

I must have fallen asleep because when I woke he was also awake, and I sent him a bird asking if we could talk. He met me in the hall and I asked if we could work it out. He said we tried talking and it got us nowhere. By this point I was crying, I told not to say it was over, it couldn’t be over. He just looked at me. I cried harder, I begged him, I pleaded with him I told him it was all my fault and he did nothing wrong. He said I needed to talk to him and I promised I would, then he held me tight and just let me cry. I can’t believe that I messed everything up, I almost lost everything. When I had finally stopped sobbing he gave me the ring back. He is so great and I almost lost him. So things are getting better again now I am training hard until I can farm the spider caves, and then that's all I will be doing for a while, until I have all my blue spells anyway.

Today has been the worst day of my life. There's nothing else I can say about it really.

**Drops of water have been splashed on this page**

Today has been a bit weird. I can’t really explain it. There is someone, and I won’t say who, but he has been very strange with me today. I don’t know what I did wrong, if anything, but he has been really distant with me and not how he usually is. I don’t think I've done anything wrong but there is still this nagging feeling in the back of my head that something is wrong. I asked him what was wrong but he said it was nothing he was fine, but I'm not convinced.

Apart from that we have had a blast tonight. You should see what I did to P’s hair, it is shocking pink, looks really good on him though, and he carries it well. He loves it.

I think I have finally given up my hunt for brown crystals. I know I probably need more but I don’t have enough ingots to fill the ones I've got. Anyway P was having trouble finding brown guardians so I helped him for a while. I found quite a few for him, they gave him mostly dulls but he did get a red glowie which was good. He is yet to find a dull brown though. I hope he gets one soon before he stops believing in them.

When I wake tomorrow I will be able to get back to my training. It will be so good to get back to it for a while, farming sends me a bit crazy sometimes. But it is something that needs to be done and I will soon be able to farm for my blue spells which will be great. I know it will take a long time to get them all so I will just have to learn patience, but at least I will get rich doing it.

I think I have been spending way too much time in the desert. The zombies are looking attractive now. I was talking to a few of them. D had to come and drag me away, said I was talking crazy. He might be right, I am so lucky to have him. We were talking about the bonding today . . . oh did I forget to mention that he asked me to bond with him? It was so romantic he did it with a poem, he is so sweet. So yeah, today we were talking about the bonding, who was going to do it, where we were going to have it, who we are inviting that kind of thing. The hardest thing is, the person who I really want to be there can’t be there. My best friend in the world and she won’t be able to make it. I do understand why she can’t be there, but I will miss her.

I have to say, being in this guild is a lot more fun than I thought it would be. I mean after the trouble we had not so long ago, I won’t go into details. So I just blame P for everything, it is really funny sometimes. Everyone else has started blaming him for everything too now. He even gets blamed when he isn’t around. I would feel sorry for him but it's too funny.

I have had the most amazing day. I’ve hardly done any training, so I must work harder for the rest of the night. But it has been great, I met up with G, I haven’t a seen her for so long and it was good to have a girly chat with her. We were in the inn with D just drinking ale and having fun; it was great to just relax all day and not have to worry about anything. We played some games and drank some ale and chatted, it was great.

So I went back to training, there's little me and a big horror, can you really see me bullying them? Well I've been telling them that if they don’t give me glowies they will regret it. Well I must have said something right to the right horror because he handed me a violet crystal. Can you believe it? I have no idea what to do with it but I know I need it later when I get bigger. It is so great, it must be my lucky day.