Her words....they tore me apart, and I didn't know what to say. I tried to convince her that she was still...her. God, why? I don't know...listening to her words, and hearing Seph's words, the weariness of it all washed over me, and sleep overcame me...and I woke feeling horrible, right from the start.

Eesha sent me a bird almost immediately, and he cheered me with his clownish charm. But I didn't tell him what was bothering me, and I resorted to a brief training on Kilican beach. Then all the while, I was exchanging birds with Sephy...and it hurt me even more that he basically holds the same view as sis. Why? The two people I love most...hurting me so much....I dunno what to do.

Sis said one thing to me, that really pierced my heart....she said that there had been a time when I'd have died before I left Sephy.....and that made me realise how I must be coming across to everyone. Please, I love him, please....but no-one seems to believe me now. Why...why...

It's killing me inside.