Midnight Sonata
Monday, 11 February 2008
It's so crowded here. I feel small and overwhelmed and inferior, surrounded by all these people who know what they're doing and what they're doing it for. Even now, I envy Soleil and Octavia for being able to be petty and pretty and live a completely different life from the one I'm leading.
The cheeky rogue returned again, as obnoxious as he ever was. At least some things remain the same in these lands. It's a comfort, I suppose.
Believe me, I am not happy with my life right now. It's very lacking and unfulfilled. I feel like I should train and make something out of it, but I don't want to. Not only can I be stubborn when I'm needed to be, I can be stubborn when I really, really shouldn't be.
Times like this remind me that I am only Ermin. I am only Ermin and nobody else. I'm not who I think I am, I don't try to help because I'm kind, I don't make new friends because I want a bit of companionship - I do all that because I'm helplessly desperate. And what's left me like this? Love, I guess. It's all about love nowadays. I'm left like this because time and fate decide to play cruel tricks by separating me and Seph from each other and dammit, I'm tired. I'm tired of all this. I'm one step away from...from...exploding.
I hate
Everything's been perfectly fine.