I woke with the sand stuck to my eyelashes, my lips stinging from salt water and grit, my hair coarse and dry and my body aching with the discomfort of my position. I was puzzled as to where I was at first, just lying there under the sun with the sea gently swerving in to the shore, then pulling itself out again, always just out of my reach, though coming closer.

I stood up, and there was some man nearby, but I couldn't tell if he was awake or asleep. I was clumsy and tired and dull, and when I picked up my staff, it all of a sudden shot out a lance of lightning, and that was enough to clear my mind. Embarrassed, I grabbed my bag of dust and took myself to the Nexus.

When I went into Cerbie's, there was a party. My eyes shot around and they suddenly landed on the girl, and a lance of pain and annoyance shot through me. Seph had told me she was called Esme - 'not the brightest blade in the rack' or 'pack' or whatever he said. He said he had been helping her. Yet, as I observed her for a moment, I felt incredulous at the illusion I seemed to be seeing. The other day I saw her, her lips had been thin, her looks average, her hands rough - yet today, her lips were full, red and glossy, her hair also more noticeable. I blinked, wondering if it was just me or what she had done. It was incomprehensible.

Luckily, I was distracted from the girl because of the party, and everyone was pinning a smile on a picture of Hojo. That girl, Esme, went first however, so I tried to ignore my own feelings and managed to smile and chuckle and laugh along with everyone else at her attempts. She made Hojo's picture frown, at any rate. Then I think Skyls went next, and put the smile on Hojo's belly, then a young girl went next, then Jezz after that. I didn't participate and left soon after Jezz's turn.

I had only noticed in the middle of the party that Esme had disappeared, so when I was walking back to my guildhall, I saw her at the forest entrance, and a glum feeling of annoyance flicked through me. I quickly walked past without another glance at her, and now I sit. How silly of me to be so protective of Seph! But he's such a close friend to me, and for some reason it makes me feel annoyed and angry everytime some other person tries to claim him as their own. But I shouldn't be controlling who can have Seph, because that's not my right. Anyone can be friends with Seph - and Seph can choose who are his close friends. I have no right to take part in that.

So next time I see Esme, I swear I will at least smile and say hello to her, maybe strike up a conversation. And then I have to apologise to Seph for being so mean the other day. That was foolish of me.

After talking with Skye, I guess everything just requires some common sense. Unfortunately, that's something I lack.