I still don't quite understand what happened - what in N'rolav happened, I have no idea. But how am I supposed to feel when I'm suddenly told that a friend of mine died, while I was lying in bed, at peace? How am I supposed to feel? Happy? No, of course I can't! It isn't right - it isn't right that I didn't even see him before he went and got himself killed! So why do I refuse to cry? Why?

I can't bring myself to read Seph's journal, I don't even really want to know what happened - but at the same time I do. I...I just want to forget all this. Really.