ARGH! He's here, Im not, Im here, he's not..it's driving me mental. It's like we miss each other by moments. Muh, stupid time and its stupid constraints...here we go again. You know, it's occured to me lately, I just..I havent even had time to write here. Not a moment to spare to just be able to sit and write properly about anything real, only stolen moments to babble incoherent gibberish..um, much like now I guess.

I was never the most responsible of people, lets just be honest, Im a little worried about what I put the guild through, I know I am hard work. Im trying..well, I am trying my best when Im awake, but Im fumbling in the dark, too much, too little.

Apparently I upset someone, thats not new either huh. I meant it completely in jest, Im so surprised it was taken any way but jest. I tried to apologise and explain, but I dont think they want to hear it. I never meant to hurt anyones feelings, I was just teasing. I guess I need to hold my sense of humour sometimes, it's not always understood or appreciated by others...and I have a tendancy to be a little acerbic and sometimes I guess thats taken to heart. Im sorry.

Note: I love Trip, to BITS...yes, the lil git gets right on my nerves, and is horrible to me, and I am horrible to him in return..however, he is my little soul, and when I have to go without him, it kills me..just, so I've said it.

The party, I can't thank everyone enough, I enjoyed myself so much, it was an absolute riot. Bryg was fantastic, I have never seen anything like it, it was just amazing, I shall have to get her something nice and for Trip and Emmy and Merrytoo, they made a real effort for me...and I am demanding and put alot onto them I know, they rock, I can't thank them enough.