We danced in the shadows, they are far more revealling than they pretend to be. I didnt want to force the words from him, thats not how I expected it. I think he was frustrated with me eventually; and yes, I am more than stubborn sometimes. Yes it's scary, how can it not be, especially when we both have such jaded pasts, such a trail of destruction, well me at least, I know little to nothing of him, as is per usual.

Taking full responsibility for something is hard work, at least when you actively try to be responsible about it. While I carried no title over it I was just the nagging enchantress, now, everytime I make a suggestion I feel like a dictator. Everytime I am forced to do something "for the good of the guild" UGH, what a pile of absolute tripe. Don't get me wrong, we run this guild together, all of us..without Emmy and Trip I would be more than lost thats for sure. They are all so involved, when they get time to be awake they share and give their views, help and talk...I couldnt ask for more from them, I am blessed to have a family of such amazing people. At some point though, decisions have to come to someone, and it makes you the bearer of both great and bad ideas. I worry, I worry about becoming a leader and not a friend. I dont want my family to stop seeing me as family, and I dont want to be pushy and....ARGH. Ok, my mind is in turmoil about it at the moment, I am the only remaining founding member in the guild, as upset as I am that Tus left, I still hold that piece of anger inside that he left me, selfish huh?

We've almost finished preperations for the party, I still have to poke Bryggy ..um I mean beg and plead. Trip already spoke to Skye, see what I mean? Lil genious, and Emmy had more ideas about decortaing than I could ever have asked for.