I wanted to invade again tonight..but I resisted... He will be sick of my lingering presence no doubt and I have caused him enough in the way of confusion for now I think. So I content myself with my little book of nonsense and random musings.

Amzer, ever forgiving, is speaking to me once again, it's ..good, though he hides how deep my words cut I think. We play at ignoring it..I apologised for my anger. I think he will spend his life hearing my apologies for my behaviour. Not often am I angry...careless, yes, foolish? always...but angry, well..not so often. He is reluctant to speak with me, but I do not blame him. He has opened up to me so many times and I have hurt him in return for each one of them.

Where is Gareth? Not seeing him is driving me mental, I have ..well I cannot remember the last time I havent talked to him in this long.. Im worried.

I have planted a little lavender at the edge of the baths, it sits at the bottom of one of the great oaks. The colour such a contrast to the deep browns of the bark, it draws my eye. Not that it wouldnt anyway..everytime I close my eyes I see it.