So much happened that I wanted to vent about so many things that either shocked me to my core, or warmed my heart that I coudnt...didnt have the words to express it. Even after a full nights rest I am still so completely torn.

It..astounds me..leaves me breathless, at how some people can base their own happiness on upsetting others. I have a sadistic nature when inclined, but I am not, never have been and Never will be, intentionally hurtful to peoples feelings when I have no place to be there at ALL. How does a persons self esteem drop so low that the only way they can gain a small spark is to ignite agony in another. I pity it..pity it to my core. I was angry yesterday..so angry I could not form words to think, let along speak. How DARE someone use me in that way, use my name, my experiences. It's sickening....I feel so sorry for them, what a shallow waste of life, it must all taste like dust and ashes.

It infuriates me more that someone can make me feel so ...I wanted to shout, scream..hurt things. I hate that someone can make me feel that way..can turn me into the very thing I despise so much. In the midst of that people just shine.....Trip, Pers, Gareth, Shir, Amzer, Abra, Shawna...they reminded me who I am..just their time, just the moments spent idly with them. They saved me from my own anger without even knowing and I love them for it...

Without the people who shine so much in my life, I would be nothing...without you, I am nothing.