I am starting to think I will never find a blue crystal or a brown for that matter..patience Sam said..it never was one of my virtues, and I seem to find any excuse other than to look for them. The spiders are tediuos beyond comprehension, but the volcano is by far worse.....it's blisteringly hot, just to breathe is a task almost beyond ability. The ash coats every available inch of skin, you cannot see more then 4 paces in any direction..by the time I have made the arduous trek through the twisting labyrinth of passages to where I can spawn blues, I have lost even the slightest spark of will to try....

It would seem fate, coincidence..whatever you wish to call it...conspires to keep me from all I wish for. The irony in some things is more than blatant. I wish I knew how to change myself in order to stop it happening..but I guess thats just life

It confuses me somewhat, the importance people place upon platinum...it doesnt matter to me so much, it's nice to have, and necessary for life...but it's hardly the be all and end all of anything...I would much rather see someone smile, and have everything they need, than have a pocketful of coins. Everybody is different I guess, and we should celebrate it, embrace it...but, people seem so very confused or shocked when I offer them things, or try to aid them....it doesnt occur to them that a smile is all payment needed....it's just stuff, it's not important....If I did not want to give it I wouldnt..I make plat when I have to..I make smiles for the pure pleasure of doing so, when and as I am able....I have caused enough heartbreak and misery in my life..I guess I just want everyone to have a little joy, a little of what they want.....if thats wp's, ingots, platinum then so be it, it doesnt matter....it's just stuff!!...well if I have it they are welcome to it, it's not whats truly important to my life

I guess it repays...while there are things the happen to tear my world apart, there are small things in each day that astound me. Val...WOW...it's alot of plat, more than I have ever had in my little pockets..I dont deserve it, I've no idea why I have it but I am grateful beyond measure..I do miss him, I miss talking to him, he is....interesting and he makes me laugh...it's a shame he does not wake as much anymore..

And yes Val, I promise I will put it to good use