It's like swimming through an endless sea, rolling and pitching back and forth, calming for a moment, only to be caught in a violent eddy..spiralling downwards in the tortile current, until the disorientation is no longer bearable.... and then, suddenly, thrown wildly back out into the ocean.

A thick fog blankets everything but for the 4 inches in front of my nose...all senses seem dulled and jaded, obscured beyond comprehension...but, when it dissapates, just for the briefest miracle of moments, I am left awestruck.....

A breathtaking coruscation of sunshine assails every inch of my skin, seeping deep into my flesh, leaving my core basking contendtedly in the sudden glow, alive with the unexpected caress of warmth.. I cast my gaze towards the heavens, the sky a vibrant azure, the sun a blazing beacon, cutting valliantly through even the densest of stormclouds......for one pure, exhillerating moment of sweet clarity,... before, inevitably, the clouds finally overcome the skies, and the fog once again reasserts itself upon my conscience, and plunges me back into the muted depths of my confusion


I dont know what to say or do, I cant think, I cant speak.....I wander blindly through things and..I fall .....self perpetuating, yet again

I guess I wanted to hear it, no...I needed to hear it...it took my breath away, but now I am truly lost, I am too scared to write here......


Words.....I no longer want to live in a world with words.....perhaps I should watch for the actions and not hear the words