I hate that I will probably be missing the beginning of Fall Festival, but I cannot be around right now. I need to breathe and find my balance once again-because I'm afraid that I was close to falling to pieces. Too many things push and pull at me at times, and I'm left torn and mangled inbetween as parts of my sanity drift away on the wind. I just...need...space to breathe...time to collect myself once again.


I know Elly is working hard on our guild hall, and I feel even more guilty that now I'm not around to assist her. I know her ideas are just fine though-she has her ways in expressing those things she finds most beautiful, and it always comes out just right. She's ever been a creative soul.


Some time will allow me to do some of my own creative endeavours though; Kylden made me a lute, and I'd hardly played the thing since he gave it to me! Such beautiful work it is, too...I've never seen a finer instrument and wonder, am I even worthy enough to play it anymore? Or have my skills long since faded away, turned to dust as I shoved them to the back of my mind and focused so much more on the fight? I wonder who I am anymore...I always sought to express duality in our lands, a need for art as much as a need for strength, and yet here I was leaning towards those who believe no creative relief is needed. Or at least, for myself. So I think I shall spend some of my time thinking....writing....dreaming and maybe perhaps, a little singing as well. Its entirely selfish...but I'm going to cave to my desires this time. I want some time to myself, I just hope it isn't too lonely...