Saturday, 03 December 2016
Their wings flutter in the breeze by the millions, like petals but their color is even more vivid, and very much more mesmerizing. For at last I have reached the meadow of butterflies, a place I could only imagine in dreams.
Perhaps this is a dream and where I stand all an illusion of my own construction. I can stand here questioning the whims of my own imagination or I can stroll and as I do lightly trail my fingers across the tips of their wings and watch as they rise up in a whirlwind of giant plumes of color.
This meadow so full of life bathing in a bright echo reflects all that is pure and beautiful in the land, it mirrors so well hope. The hope to be happy with a single word it will be as it was before and all will be a memory of a nightmare long gone.
I cannot tell how much time I have spent walking here, it seems like an eternity but I am approaching the end, for I can hear in the short distance the raging water.
The waterfall drops deeply into a chasm of rock, where the only thing I can see is a large ancient rock with the remnants of chiseled stone fallen over, marks of relics of a city that existed here a very long time ago, I must find a path down there and find the oubliette.
It has taken a length of time to make my way here, the isolation and darkness stirs my caution, but I stride ever deeper into the heart of the dark, how did I know of this place, I have never been here before, how do these dreams tell me to visit these places.
I know I am dangerous still, I have found the key and it now in this prison long ago constructed to torture and stifle the vestries of heart, here I will sit and let the darkness and silence envelop me and surrender alone, perhaps this time I will be successful in killing all fires of love within my heart and from the ash I might rise again, reborn and free of the chains I have bound to myself for too long and let her be free to be happy.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 00:21 - Link
Sunday, 27 November 2016
Unfurl thy crimson banner and let heart’s shout for the glory of the red goddess. I have journeyed forth through darkness and shadow and stand now at the precipice of sorrow, here where the abyss threatened to engulf the masses ready to leap at the beguiling words of bronze.
How easy they forget the gifts too numerous to count, the sacrifices too many to fathom, the wonders she has created. She has stood and guided me for years un-numbered through countless battles her power was shared to grant me the stamina to continue, for in death she gave a part of her being to ensure I was reborn.
I have heard rumblings that now, when she needs us some has turned from her, like the final embrace of a mother when we have grown beyond her need to nurture and guide they have walked into the arms of a beguiler.
I stand not alone, for I still see many who wear the crimson robes walking the land, we will not be culled or sated into not speaking the words that flow from our souls.
We stand with you, red goddess, for now and for eternity even if it means a death from where there is no recovery, I am eternally now and forever a loyal servant of Miranda…
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 21:54 - Link
Thursday, 24 November 2016
Tendrils of smoke billow out, snaking upwards as it touches the edges of clouds, essences of white purity gracefully dancing across the sky.
I pray the passage of time be short, for those clouds to awaken and let descend droplets of flakes to quench these fiery gates.
Strong are these gates that stand still preventing the horrors to escape to the plains.
Soon then this ashen waste will be settled with the stillness of snow, the land’s blanket cover now so it can sleep and heal. A new beginning will soon be birth in spring.
Oh how I yearn for that day, when the darkness is but a memory and the buds of the first evergreen leaves sprout, the melting waters washing clean the vestiges of the past, and the songbirds sing once more.
The night is still very much here, the fever has passed yet its umbra still dwells, I am changed, as the lands have also changed. For with the journey has been arduous, with many steps still to follow, each one a reflection of the seeking of one’s soul.
My steps will follow the clouds across sands whose steps will soon be erased by tides of winds as the sweeps the land as it prepares for the coming night as memories will be forgotten.
For a mere instant I can pause and with shut eyes remember the touch of gentle head resting on my shoulder, and even after keeping a small red string as it clung to my clothing.
I reach to the pocket covering my heart, hand pressed over that strand and feel waiting for the beat to echo across hands palm connecting heart to strand, and a smile blossoms, yes indeed the fever is passed. I am healed at last, but for the forsaken there is no redemption.
I will return from the west in the spring, if the gods are willing, but I will return to silence, it will be my gift for I do not know what words would ever suffice.
I will walk under the budding trees as the hibernation of healing passes and I will catch the rays of light on my palms.
I will listen to the singing of the morning birds as they sing to sleep the twinkling stars. I will walk again under these stars and make wishes hoping that one may fall and rain dust upon me and my wish be granted.
I will walk again with weapon in hand ready to battle any and all for the glory of the red goddess. I will walk again in silence.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 09:29 - Link
Friday, 18 November 2016
A simple wish to carve out a few words spoken alone in solitude, from lips I speak knowing that to another’s ears they will never reach.
Take with these few words an essence of my being, time now to set my soul to tinder.
The small lean-to shelter I have erected shelters me from the harsh storms, the parting gift I carry is soft and warm, yet still I shiver.
Despair approaches coveting desires, with quivering hands touch, lightly, she whispers, peace anon…
In silence watch her string her cords ever tighter. Long has the passage of time marked my will to resist the malady of melancholy?
By dawns light I sit, weary and drained, empty as the few merry thoughts that once filled my heart all seem so very distant.
My one final last piece of armor, my final hope is my faith, may the red goddess prevail.
If I be worthy then to be her servant, lend me the strength to resist one last time into the tenets of lechery and self-delusions of worth.
In the deepest recesses of my soul, the knowledge of truth I can finally admit, I am unworthy now and never was!
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 07:17 - Link
Saturday, 05 November 2016
Silent flakes of pure sand slips from the open palm in the wind, settling embers of time, land gently on petals of flame. A respite afforded, a moment’s pause to breathe deeply the stillness.
Roaring beauty and majesty of a single solitary rose, the pride of the sandy plain. The crimson fire sway and the beating heart as the last grains are blown and the hand holding them now stands empty.
Hallow is thy will, to stand alone defiant in the sparse parched desert, drinking in the sadness. Let the night’s sky bring forth the light from which dreams awaken. Hail then to thee as even now the nectar of your virtue is touch with the sand. Here even as their twinkling luminescence rains the dust of souls from the heavens, your petals bloom still drink the ashes of sorrow.
Etched you are in the small pages of my heart, a bold shaft of hope in a path of pain. Delicate and vulnerable like the waves softly touching the fallen log, its bark long eroded by the salty water, leaving it so pure and innocent.
A few droplets of water shared with this treasured flower, it trails down the stem like a trail of a tear stained cheek. Let the water and sand from my hand give you a small morsel of time to show your beauty before you wither and fade, and give what life you have to the birthing of many, but never will you fade from my memory, you are a path to redemption of which I dare not ask. A passage for me to return, and a place within the psyche of my being, a way home.
Guard no more, fight no more, be no longer afraid, for all is lost and from here whence everything is taken, true joy is but a distance far beyond reach, my journey dawn beckons, soon now is the time for my departure, to the gentle rose I can give one last word.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 23:14 - Link
Friday, 21 October 2016
I kneel forth in a circle of ancient stone, as the amber leaves fall to the ground. A cloak billows behind me as the biting winds screech their eerie howls as they flow through the bark swept branches, bereft of hue they reflect an ashen shade of grey to my eyes except where the occasional leaf still clings. I stretch a palm to the ground the stone is warm, it should not be so, this is frustrating, it should not be warm, or at least I should not feel it.
Soon the mist will rise and the shadow will sleep, for in the night, there can be stillness. Shall I lay my cold heart on this warm stone and feel the chance to shut my eyes, and let the twinkling light of stars steer me back to dreams. The hurricane that houses a small candle is my only light until the stars light up the night’s sky, its glass a pale shade of orange that emits just enough light for my eyes to linger on its flickering flame as I listen to the wind. In the few brittle moments of respite as they subside I can still hear the slow flow of the tides. Far they are to the south of these cliffs, but they clean the footsteps and footfalls I have made washing clean the past. The traces of my path can be read with the creases of lines that draw across my face.
A shiver slowly breaks my contemplation as the hairs on the back of my neck rise, a memory flickers across my thoughts as once a warm breath was enough to raise those tiny bumps,and let beat the nervous breath. It births a challenge for words, to somehow mirror the sensation of the faintest touch, as the trailing of cloth sends the lightest of scents, so unique and precious that the evanescence of mirth could not be suppressed.
I banish this memory now , and perspire as I do , heavy beads drench me as I shudder again , this time to banish the thoughts. I do lay on the warm stone as the tides of fall's leaves sweep past me as the winds carry them to renew the soil as it beckons for its blanket before winters sleep.
The new season will soon be upon us and to winter’s heart I must embrace. Be still and breathe, for in every breath that flows within me is one that once united us. It would be so much easier if I could let anger reign and wreak havoc. I am no child of solace, let the scorn of my person be the only remembrance , as I steal still the warmth of the stone, I dare not think I deserve this, but it is cherished nonetheless. Let the land prepare for its sleep and I will make my preparations for my march shall be long, and this time it will be alone.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 18:11 - Link
Maligned by malady, echo not a word from thy lips.
Eyes bear witness to sorrow’s deed of one last sacrifice.
Tired hands , give courage and strength for one final blow, that will end the night.
Others I see have given a share of their life.
Inside the chamber of my heart I am spent.
An empty vessel , that no longer can feel warm in the light.
A cold connection shared, when I took his life.
From me, the taking of my heart was his counterstrike.
Forsaken I hath become, abandoned and cast to forgotten.
None shall seek to restore a smile I can no longer share, I will walk away. Nor allow any reach what he has inside me locked away. For in our final embrace I has seen his heart laid bare, and the horrors I must carry I can never share.
The task is complete the land is at peace. I dare not look inside I dare not peek. Its takes my last strength to pen these finals few thoughts to redress the many I have hurt.
I give my last token in amends, my last few words to you. I failed you, I am sorry...
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 07:50 - Link
Monday, 13 April 2015
On precipice of ice, where blood of heroes bloom crimson fields of fire.
Howling winds with biting wails and frightful gales sing now songs of sorrow.
Words become thy pain last embrace; scatter now fragments of a heart betrayed.
What was left behind was but a shell, able still to function and in shadows dwell.
I had ventured into a realm of complete detachment, where every breathe was one of apathy. It was a path that had taken years, meandering though the constant routine of severing relationships, a slow decent into becoming lost! The path entered unwillingly and without forethought as steps across sandy beaches, each one, silent, and alone, seemed the best way to cope with being so completely broken. Why speak hollow words of empathy when all hope at reaching the part of me that was touched with heart was long dead.
The only thing left for me was duty; I still belonged to a small select group that called me, family. I still had responsibility to a few that still remembered what the word love meant. I did not acknowledge how much their extended gestures measure of deeds and words stirred me. These seemingly innocuous gifts I stored and stacked into a pyre awaiting a flame would either burn me back into life or devour me completely. Many had tried to get me to speak again; many had tried to get me to burn the shield I had made to never become so vulnerable to emotion again.
Then without warning, one day you did just that, for a brief moment you somehow gave me the strength I needed to feel once more. It was a struggle to unlock the smallest sliver of a crack of what I had buried. I gave that part to you, for a spell your smile chanced to spin a bond that connected me to the pieces that made me whole and once more hear the whisper of a beat. This delicate trembling beat of joy enough to squash the painful memories that had haunted me for so long.
To see your smile has made me whole once more even if it was for the briefest of moments shared with me, and a light shone brightly in your eyes that touched your soul. How could I ask for more when already you had breached my sanctum and now knowing that love unfettered is the only recompense that I can give? I thus reciprocated and granted your release from the bond myself, shattering the last of my heart closing my eyes to sleep. I swore to see the smile on your face when inside all I could do is pray that the memories we shared together would be screaming inside you like they were in me. Inside me, these memories of us scream so loud, making all words spoken to me by friends empty and silent, words touched with care and wisdom, but could not find the beauty in them.
Here now I stand once more, awakened by your pain and seeing those eyes that bind my heart covered in tears, and that smile that awakened the joy in me gone.
I swear to never see those tears again, I swear to see that smile restored, I swear that no longer can I shut the world out, because you are my world and for now until eternity I will love only you. This is what is written in my soul, the one that I have mated with you for eternity. It is spoken now for all to see on the slimmest of bracelets that adorns my wrist that binds the pieces of my heart so it can beat for you… Akassa.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 08:04 - Link
Friday, 17 October 2014
Within the wisp of the wind float now the crystal embers of dreams. Let burn the fire to pieces with soul as tinder and let the silence reign.
Within the fires of hope my fate was sealed, requited or unrequited I have given my pledge.
One filled with the promise of complete surrender that bridged shattered pieces into one beat and for the first time in so long a time, it pulsed and I understood what it meant to be complete.
Their being one that swayed me from silence and set forth a song in my heart, a heart once more filled with the joy of life, granting me glimpses of a future filled with beauty that can only aspire too in dreams.
Forever I give my gratitude and love, my will granted each will remain unsullied by time or conflict and shall grow with each day. Task now the burden of a simple request to continue to find the beauty of thy smile.
A smile that flickers to life much like the radiant flame of a single candle lit in the jar that leads the path defiant against the will and frost of night.
I had made that smile my homeward path and to its end my daily journey sort. A journey, which I must now allow to be granted to another, for along its path the tempest that rages inside me must be culled by deed of friendship.
A friend can I be, a friend that knows that measured across the vastness of faith the light of stars can now be seen and will be always out of reach.
I pray let passion’s will be squashed, let emotions be washed away along with memories of treasured words spoken along with footsteps in the sand. Once more let the tide of silence be my solace tonight.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 00:29 - Link
Sunday, 25 May 2014
There is an emotion buried deeply within each and every one of us. An emotion that is not one we can ever reach unless moved to extreme circumstance. I sat alone on the sands, watching the ever constant tide flow to and fro. I was one with the waves, silent, stable, amenable to the will of faith.
I had forgotten much sitting there, day after day, knowing only battle and the search for the one thing that I felt eluded my grasp.
Each day I would awaken to that search for years un-numbered never distracted in my course, many have tried to sway me from my goal, many have tried to get me to remember who I was, but there was only one that managed to break me out of my silence.
I understand now that each day she understood and stood alongside never asking for anything, yet we stood together in battle, and addressing the wounds of our brethren. Little could I have comprehended what she knew, yet she waited, day by day she stayed alongside me in the thickest of battles and the darkest of places. Each day saw me change, the quick beats of my heart when she was close should have told me, the tears dripped from her eyes into my hands as I held her should have melted my will.
She knew and she waited, each day she understood and she waited. I sort her every waking moment interested in her stories and yet she knew I would not speak the words we both knew were there within my lips and hers and held back. In time my steps along the sands that were one became two and then again one.
Swept off her feet was her fear that I would never understand what she knew, I understand and I carry her within my arms now and forever our steps will be one. For I now know what she has known for a long time even though she waited and gave me time.
I have found my faith, I carry it now forever with me , I have found my destiny in the hands that holds my heart and I will hurt her I said. I will hurt her with all my heart and she will know that within me now is only the will to fulfill her patience.
For eternity I pledge my heart, I know now what you know, let your tears flow from the releasing of emotion you have long kept secret from me let the hurt of fulfillment reach your heart with these words I have not spoken in many years yet you knew…I love you!
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 16:43 - Link
Thursday, 22 May 2014
As I walk across the soft sand , gentle waves erase the passage of my steps , yeah I am still but a fleeting echo of soon to be forgotten much like the touch of rays as they meet palm to stalk in these isolated shoots of plants that dot the landscape.
Were I to be freely granted my will, I would fill that palm with the radiant essence of light, holding firmly to the fingers that would entwine with mine and never forsake the comfort of that touch. Yet even as we stood over words scratched into the earth to spell darkness, my only thoughts were to place a flower to float in that palm of light when words cannot flow for breath is long ago lost and beyond the realm of catching, a fleeting moment of clarity can still allow me the words to say the tidbits of truth that is so very evident. I place this flower in your hand for it to see what beauty truly is, what beautiful heart and spirit so filled and mirrored to the light that shines over the darkness and let not even its umbra’s passage across our steps.
I place this flower in your palm to share with you the fleeting caress of light that touches the stalks of a person so rarely found in the boundary of nature. I place this flower in your hand to let beauty and light be once more the forefront of our thoughts where the uncertainty of the morrow is dispelled with the shooting growth of hope and the birthing of dreams where every rare moment is new and exciting for it refreshing and refills the vessels of those that have known so many losses. To but win a smile and see the dawn shining once is beyond a task that challenges my sanctum of silence, a treasure of immensity can only be described as the finding a conclusion to a journey over many years and was thought lost beyond all hope. A gift freely given and already locked within the vault of memory as I walk through these gentle waves, my footsteps will be forgotten in a day… .
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 10:47 - Link
- comments (1)
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
Sometimes I wonder why some memories never die, no matter how much we try. Just idle thoughts of a person that finds remnants of sweeter days gone by, and of a life doomed to failure no matter how much we tried.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 16:42 - Link
- comments (1)
Sunday, 14 June 2009
Written upon heart , the maladroit reflections of past memories that seem now an obscure reality of life.
An awareness of this opaque world encased in shadow, buried beneath deep thoughts weighted by delicate strands of a web.
Ensnare forever the witness, through misty tendrils of smoke and flame see the ashes of redemption beyond reach.
Bereft of atonement for now trap cunningly contrived grants only the ability of let fly in breezes the word.
Least now let doubt be the victor, by trust’s grace be given to this melancholy splendor that dowers with persistent effect to thy soul.
Let harsh be the feelings of scorn for those that replace thy will to resolve enticed by vices beauty of happy morrows when sorrows dawn still rises with each day.
Illusion lingers in a smile, for courage and heart shed , sings not a victory song of wit’s grace nor might of arms.
As years grow ever longer the list of glory changes, but still we suffer evil while champions fade to sleep.
Pawns left pouring blood and spirit hoping to avail the lands of a tide that cannot be stopped.
A wind that will forever flow , for into truths heart each can find an echo of shadow.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 19:15 - Link
Tuesday, 22 July 2008
Wait till you look into my eyes
Wait till you see my spirit alive
Wait till you get lost inside my mind
Wait till you are complete and hold your hand in mind
Then you will know i love you
Then you will know no words can ever do
Then you will hear all the words spoken before they are said
For inside you know i will love you until i am dead
Then we can forever feel the stirring of the tide
As we are caught gasping for breath of the feelings inside
Then when whispers echo louder that shouts
And the truth of love is beyond all doubt
In the small spaces of the night
When we lay together as man and wife
You will know that destiny of our reality
Forever after we will always be family
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 20:33 - Link
Tuesday, 24 June 2008
The apathy of empathy , listen to the wind for of teardrops it sings, as each precious jewel fall from a body hurting for loss, drop by drop, one by one moving and stirring. Like the silence be broken the keening echoes of tranquilly lost to severing ,the absence of part of us , the part that makes us true and complete now restricted beyond our reach. Stir now echoes and listen as the tendrils of smoke still float into the air, awakened by the destruction of many a plain, a place a nexus that we once graced.
The room a monument that once brought us together for within was filled with the unity of banter, the sharing of knowledge and the greeting between passage. Fought for was this place , with bitter tears we refused to relinquish , that place that held so many a beating heart , where we stood together and refused to depart . Death be not an obstacle when before you stood adventures filled with honor and principle and together they formed a line, a spearhead and attacked each and every time. When one fell another took there spot until each person there had shed some blood , and in blood , courage and vigor in defeat that resounded into the souls of all like no other, the precious part of us was lost.
We stood before the goddess, who for once understood our lost. Hope cannot die unless you will it , faith cannot survive unless you give it . Stay true to the fate and have the courage to believe and once again Sunrifter will shine my friend. When the darkness seems to envelope all hope, look past the smoke and behold once more dawn has touched the shore. Its horizon with it will bring a chance for swords to once more sing , and what was lost may yet be found again .Hold true to thy institutes of wisdom and let unity and light bring forth in time once more our salvation...
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 21:34 - Link
Friday, 04 April 2008
Blood-drops on flowers
Spill now from shatter heart
Fragile pieces fading glass
Dead the day to birth the night
A scoundrels laugh
Live oh jesters crackle
The mystery of love
Stolen ,very much broken
Twelve nights of fire light
Seven times it just did now work right
Fated cards so full of blight
Robbed of time robbed of sight
To only way to put matters right
Is to let the blood drop on flowers
Hope that will come many a shower
Let die the heart let bloom the love of life
Let die vanity and pride
Set free ,now friend with honest prayer
Soar on winds your heart will glide.
Unfettered shackles , and wait for time to disappear.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 15:24 - Link
Sunday, 30 March 2008
Its so easy to want to fix things, to help make things better, especially when we see those we love hurting. We long to show them we love them by doing whatever we can to help them heal. But are we doing what is right by them , are we helping them or ourselves, can we really step back and look objectively at the situation?
When love is unquestioned ,and ever flowing and we often believe that all the love in this world can heal anything and fix everything. The person knows of our love, they understand the emotional distress they put us through and want so much to accept the delusion that love is enough. What do they do when they know that it isnâ€™t , that something inside them is wrong and needs to be fixed, that this is not what is supposed to be. How can the flowers smile and the birds sing and yet they cannot feel joy, when sorrow seeks to drown them still like a hand from the past reaching forth and pushing them down.
Suffocating , and the tenderness of love does not help, the care and concern makes them feel less, that somehow they are hurting the ones they love, just be not being able to explain why they hurt. That pushing them away is all they can do to hide her pain , that when they are sore and lost and need to just hide away. It becomes mercy to not put them through her pain for just one day, to feel somehow that they can understand she needs to just forget how much she hurts the ones she loves for just one day.
How precious her gift, to just for once just let them trust her , trust her love for it is real and fills her core and her soul with its entire being, trust her to try to fix what is wrong , trust her to for once do what is right for herself and perhaps find a solution to her woes and help stop the pain she shares with the ones she loves with all her soul .
How precious her tears, each one shed along the with the pain that made her so distraught crippling her emotions to even utter coherent thoughts to pen the words goodbye. To tell the ones she loved that she needed them more today that at any other time in her life to love her, and let her go, let her face the fire and let burn the ash of her despair, and perhaps arise reborn once more. How precious a love that her heart burned to send a note once more and say the words that she could not find the courage to do with those she loves standing besides her. What did she think, her friends her husband her kin would think of her at that moment when the wind screams her words she could not have spoken .
Wherever I go I take you all with me ,always you are all in my heart, my precious sister speaks. To places distant I go for I am lost and I will find the one you love again. I will regain the person that I am, and be once more the person you all loved, not the shell or the specter of the person that stands before you daily. Had any but looked in my eyes and seen they would know each day how dim has become my soul. You have my love all of you was what she said, you have my heart, but my spirit , my soul is in need and today I whisper the words goodbye until I am heal once more dear brother. Goodbye!
My sister Ellyana, know I stand with you always, that wherever you have gone I am with you ,yes even now I send silent support and strength and wished I was able to heal you , to take the hurt that was your hurt, as we are and always will be , blood of my blood, together one step away from the dance of death . Know I understand and support what you had to do, and I will always be here for you , I love you sis , even if I could not be what you needed, there is nothing between us to forgive, I only pray you find the answers you seek and once more live .....
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 16:36 - Link
Wednesday, 06 February 2008
Im wishing on a star!
I was in a dark place beyond despair
Silent memories released in a mournful tear
A terrible broken shell of who I was before
Bitter was the taste of life that filled my core
Innocence lost and I was beyond hoping anymore
Pondering mistakes , and what ifs I just cannot be sure!
Terrible were my doubts , often wanting me to shout
But loud may my words be, but words still failed to reach thee
In the end I gave into truth and fell
Into the horror of my own worse hell
Tormented and broken in spirit pure
Wanting only to forget the time that had pasted before
Into the dark came a crept a single ray of light
Into this fallen heart hope sent a spark
Humbled by the power of a few words spoken
An oath solemn and earnest broken
The dreams long dead inside my given life again
Almost I feel the passing night is ending
Do I dare to let hope fill me again?
Can something that was once so special live again.
Magic swirled together into something wonderful
It makes me believe again in being hopeful
That a soul broken in two and a heart feeling blue.
Come alive again when wishes come true.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 20:06 - Link
- comments (1)
Saturday, 12 January 2008
The rays of sun ,they are beautiful and bright
They hurt my sore eyes ,eyes that no longer feast in the light
These hurts dried eyes , no tears left to stain my cheeks
Unbroken the circle , the prison of my love is complete
A shackled heart , tied to the death it must complete each day
To awaken knowing someone is in love and taken and so it will stay
To be happy knowing that to love them is to set them free
Believing in love, feeling your heart cry each day for the dream and hope to be!
Truly I believe in hope and I believe in the beauty of life
Reality is pain , knowing that someone special exists in your eyes
That knowing you have that ability to be happy it fills me with such pride
The flowers of spring and the magic they bring will blossom and win your smile
Sleep and abate , such a deplorable state to exist
Madness, to hunger for something that I do not need
My heart bleeds, it is a malady of the mind
To bleed inside daily for the wanting of someone who can never be mine
Sometimes I wish to no longer be me ,
To awaken and forget how to care I want for my reality
I wish for numbness or even apathy
I wish to stop feeling so empty
Tired, so tired, drained and unforgiven ,
lacking energy to be driven to do more that sustain any ambition
Lost and alone , not wanting even a home
To feel inside the call of the rogue as one who wanders alone
Alone, were I to be given such grace
But even with eyes close I cannot escape the memory of your face
I am so wrong for making this love so complete and unending
I am now and forever trapped by something that can never be broken.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 10:32 - Link
- comments (1)
Wednesday, 26 December 2007
To sleep so often is madness, to still yearn is an illness
When all that is left for me is friendship
A longing to feel sometime not felt for a very long time
To see you again the memories that haunt my mind
To close my eyes and long to sleep just to see once more a face I seek
My lifeâ€™s thread etched and interwoven with thine, my failure complete
To hear the sound of your voice, to know that life holds a reason to rejoice
To find once more a reason to smile, to thee again the glint in your eyes
I miss you , precarious as it is , I miss you , the fact that I was not strong enough
Often I wish I could have shouted or given you a reason to stop
Nay , that my love was not strong enough to keep you here ,but I need you
I need you to help me piece back together the fragments of a soul that staves without you
A soul that does not understand , why it is broken , half of it lost
A soul famished , a soul in delirium tormented to give up .
To some a soul cannot die, it lives ,it grows, it takes what is given and thrives
I take to missing you and feel my soul live and yet die
I wish you could remember, remember if only for a moment what you meant
Remember when we were both so very innocent
To remember so many things and have no one to tell it too
To have remembered so many events that I shared with you
To know you sleep , and knowing that the tears you weep
Unable to share life with you, and find the answers we seek
To bottle it up all inside me, knowing that speaking of it would make you angry
How mainly honor got lost to pride ,and instead of breaking you word you would rather die
To know that in the end the bond cannot be broken
Sometimes love yells to us but we cannot listen
To the teardrops of the fallen , I know that few will ever hear your name spoken
Forever across my heart it still is written
I remain now and will forever be ...Sodden
I remain now and will forever be...Fallen
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 22:25 - Link
Thursday, 25 October 2007
A redemption of silence
I cannot have what I want ,wanting is filled with such arrogance
Pride festers in a heart inflicting a wound incapable of closure
Greedy to want sometimes something I do not need
I have the air to breath, the food I need and a heart to bleed
What need of a soul to be complete , no one can hear the sound as it weeps
Steadfast to a promise ,undone , let the voice of my silent soul echo
Perchance redemption be found in silent shroud draped on my shoulders
Dead of hope , I look at the world with cold frosty eyes
I still hold your care and concern in my dreams
Twilight descends and a smile comes to my lips
Hoping with sleep again you will visit
As day breaks all I can do is look from afar to gaze upon you
Teardrops of my rose seen as the morning dew
Resilient in the dawn as the wind bends it to the ground
In a field with thousands of roses , why do I still focus upon the one
Far beyond the outstretched reach of the boundary fate has spun
A thousand words of brilliance, yet I see only the image of innocence
A thousand feelings of emotion , yet I crave still to feel only one
The one for many a time I took for granted, trusting that it would never end
I feel it still within me, locked behind the will of futility
The acceptance of knowing that pride is forever now all that is given to me
In wanting what truly will never be given
The redemption of silence be all that is left , knowing at last the path is chosen
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 08:30 - Link
Tuesday, 31 July 2007
Ellyanna my sister
She bleeds and lets fall drops of love
Droplets of beauty forming a pool of radiant teardrops
Mirror of her soul reflecting all that live inside her
I look inside and all I see is Pallas
My sister ,the most kindhearted of flowers
Wilting so much from being denied her touch of sunlight
I know in my soul he loves you with all his heart
I know that it tears out his soul from you to be apart
I just do not know how to help you shine without light
I do not know how to show you that you bloom even in the night
I cannot hope to ever accomplish the task of healing your heart
A brothers love I give, but that is not what you ask?
Petals unfurl again let the beauty of your wings shine and shelter the weary
Hope begin from the example you set by in your torment continue living
Wilt not flower, for the sun is always sending you its light
Somehow in my heart I know it will find but having you believe me is my plight
Hope is as eternal , blood of my blood , sister by deed
Hurt is shared by everyone that holds you in their heart as family
I share your pain, I know how much sorrow that dwells in that pool
I will stand with you sister, and to support you I plead
Listen to my heart , for your pool grows larger
Hurting with you , added to it now is the teardrops of your brother .....
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 16:08 - Link
Tuesday, 24 July 2007
Memories ,distant the past may appear, yet with but a few words it manages to bring images to the present once more to a mind and heart that buried them with silence, truly weak is the heart that remembers......
Why does a trail walked away from a path blocked still hurts when emotions erupt. Why cant a fall from grace from one unworthy still tremble at the look of a face.
Beautiful and special still to behold a moth to her flame I still am drawn, a face that will not give pity and look away, For blinded by the dawn I look at you , scolding and scorching to my eyes yet still so difficult to look the other way and tearing to my soul but still I walk away
When a hello burns a soul to ashes, and blood trickles from a heart filled with gashes, that salves and time can cover, but all healing never seem to last, why does suspicion appear when in her presence when I wonder, yet inside me still beats the will of honor, and never would I sully the friendship and this burden I will shoulder.
To hold within me the secret of the memory, the one of a dream that will never be, and it was only part of a conquest of a person that never really wished it a reality. Forgotten now as a blotch in history, I still remember ,my reality now to become a stranger to one whose name I wrote in my heart forever..
Memories in my mind, fade I beg for you like a friendship lost belong to a different place and time. Torment me no more, I seek a place in the shade, and hopefully there I will be forgotten .The sunshine has no path for one who had fallen , voices go whisper to those that can find hope not one this downtrodden , for I know that the best thing in life is sometimes to have memories forgotten.
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 16:09 - Link
Saturday, 14 July 2007
Locket of lost key ?
Wonder doth I, to find the will to open thee
Inside does it still hold a heartbeat, a teardrop , a portrait, a friendship that once meant the world to me.
Noose of gold, holding a locket of question hanging over a chest that echos silence
Trinket of ember, metal of fire, burning flesh, mocking laughter
Eyes closed , memory forgotten in a secret chamber
Twilight when young, footsteps erased ,dawn of a new day
Labored breath, nervous banter , uncertain future holds sway
Will not word weaving tapestry , a tangled skein .
Myriad of doubts by actions, only viewed and valued as mean.
Beautiful world, seen through sad eyes filled with feeling
Find hope, outpour emotions, foster healing
Vessel pierced, out yet in replacing what is seeping
Locket of lost key, indeed even shut you hold meaning
Single breath, sigh escape.
I again put the key back into its hiding place
Key stay lost, my world , again in a locked locket
A secret, a prayer , a wish of despair, again goes the key to my pocket
Tendrils of nostalgia inhaled with the moment
Catastrophe avoided bought with a lost friendship
Cast away one unworthy of your worship
Locket sealed still hanging round the neck of the vanquished
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 21:24 - Link
Friday, 13 July 2007
Caught in a glimpse of an eye,
The tendrils cast .
Webs littered with the stars from the nights sky.
Unfurl and set sail at full mast
Walking along each strand, as the light doth flicker
Weaving life and destiny ,fate the spider
Strings on palm, answers written ,
Secret to the owner whoâ€™s eyes cannot listen
Weave the net and wear it like a shroud
Destiny on shoulders walk where the stars abound
The howling of the wolves on the hill, the Moon in bloom.
The fire flickering across the room.
Tiny spider in a corner
Spinning idly by holding the universe together
Eyes a million looking in ever dimension
Future ,present and past blending as one
Today, sitting kissing, teardrops falling..
A funeral prayer, and meeting and a beginning
At once , yet still separate
Along every strand a step only a spider can make
Fate be kind and place oneâ€™s line along one with a star
Fate be cruel, locking ones mind in an intersection devoid of laughter
Hold to hope ,the spider spins a new web that will touch the old
I pray the new thread touching mine has a star within its hold
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 20:11 - Link
Thursday, 12 July 2007
The mist the air, reaching down on your knees to splash the chilled water from a spring across your face . Beauty beheld with the innocent morning.
Get lost in the calm trickling water as it flows from the earth...Look at the first ray of sunshine peeking through the clouds, and feel its warm your heart .
Get off your knees and stand stretching, feeling the pull of all your muscles, unknot , feel the blood flow begin you and take a sip from that spring, and let the waterâ€™s purity wash away all sins..
Look to the dew drops on petals bright, and fall under the enchantment of a flowerâ€™s delight..
Whisper in the wind the dreams you had when you were sleeping look at the insects bright wings unfolding take to the sky, wings now fluttering.
Peel the petal off a flower, whisper the love me , love me not banter, then, taste its nectar. Let its sweetness trickle to where your soul is sheltered.
Let a tear trickle down your cheek, as the music of the wind blows through the branches holding onto leaves, run through the soft grass, barefoot, alone, until you feel your heart racing your blood pumping, then fall on the floor and feel the earth spin around you ....
Open up a loaf of bread, and bite deeply into it , tasting its rich ingredients, feeling its life giving nourishment....Listen to the birds begin to sing.....Let each note fill your heart with the love of this morning.
Lean back on the grass, feel inspired by such nobility as the gift of heaven given to you , life , something so special and taken for granted by all but a few ...
Be thankful for all its joy, and the friends, given and even for those lost, relish then the simple act of those that care for you , give back all the love you have the capacity too..
Show all that care for you how much they mean , for dawn is the beginning of a beautiful life where it is up to us to walk in a dream.....
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 18:51 - Link
Thursday, 05 July 2007
Silent oration be witness and bear testimony to a soul so wounded and scared its ashes lay scattered to the wind .Floating, fluttering, from fire , fleeting , falling losing hope in destiny
Silent oration listen to the gesture of a heart lost, replaced instead by an anvil so battered by hammer and pain shatters releasing to ever capillary the antithesis of euphoria, the maladroit echo of failure.
Silent oration be witness to eyes that saw through that heart that do now stumble around blind. That were it to see it would know only the agony of absence, a person no longer able to see beauty
Silent oration, the words long to be released , but cannot for lost is its song...A song that once did have heart and soul that sang with a sound of innocent splendor. A dam of valor holding back the torrents. Eyes wanting so much to vent , lips not having tasted a salty trail of teardrops....
Silent oration, all actions now look inward , to a mind that cannot find peace, to a burden on a person that honor and duty be the only thing I need... where laughter be hurtful, and tragedy be bland...for insanity be my new friend found.....
Silent oration give lucidity to a mind that thinks of fate and destiny, that believes the universe has order, when chaos be all is found. Where nature has no rational , and believing that one can change their stars , by completely mental ...
Silent oration, be kind to one that cannot forget, that once failure was not always his every consequence .Let his delusions and visions of happiness end, A nod, a pout , a scowl , and perchance a smile ,as fickle as it seems, silent oration is my only sound.....
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 16:00 - Link
- comments (1)
Wednesday, 04 July 2007
Carved into the realm of sleep , attuned and bound to a destiny incomplete I heard the sobs .. I heard the pain of two that were long held dear to me. I confronted her once more, in the recess of Sleep she came to me.... Aelia Shadowsong, I had forgotten what you meant to me, allowing myself to be enchanted in a web that could only end in dinner for one ...
Remember your promise and the broken sword. Remember your pledge to live for honor. Listen Matt the innocent cry tears while evil still walks. Matt Shadowsong , your heart can never be broken for it is not yours to give, it is mine and I again give it to the promise, to forget all you desire, to yield no more for temptations fire, Defend once more the weak and innocent , remember the rest of your promise and all it meant, remember, remember, remember ........
Molly, forgiveness granted, I hear you sobs and had I a heart it would bleed for you, but all I have is a body, and I give it to you , I offer to be your brother forever after, I thank you for accepting my offer...
Ellyana, it was the shout of your heart the opened my eyes, you mean so much to me , that was apparent to all ,to see you cry, would make me wanna die . Take it from one that has life defined failure, , you are a gift given to this land , you are the soul of laughter . Always pleasant and ever present, you being here, help make so many lives different. I think back to how innocence does follow you every step of the way, I think back to how many you help each and every day...
You are not a failure, and I thank you for allowing someone as unworthy of me to call you brother, thank you my sister forever after, I hope you can now help me again find out, what is the secret of your incandescent glower .. I will be awake now in Valorn and forget no more a promise made to one I buried, and who with every opening of my eye I do mourn ......â€ťAeliaâ€ť hunt me no longer, I return to Valorn
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 20:34 - Link
My love is indeed happy and for that i thank the gods, she has moved on and become promised and Engaged to Zortek.. I pray that the sun fines then daily, and will perhaps one day give me one beam of light throught the dark clouds that loom forever over me ........I am today the happiest person in Valorn , the one I love with all my heart has found love...I thank you of Star , for granting my wish I can sleep happy now knowing her heart is safe and secure , for never was there a great or friendly a person i know as my friend Zortek . I am happy she found someone I to respected and admired...
I pray for you rain fall on my now to cover the tracks that might lead back to my heart .....
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 01:00 - Link
Tuesday, 03 July 2007
When something is lost, it is exactly that Cause if it is found it can no longer be called lost?
The bud appears, itâ€™s pristine petals can only hope to open to the sun and bask in its glory ..In doing so itâ€™s glory is exposed for all to admire, yet the sun and its heat is the very thing that wilts the flower nothing so perfect as a flower in full bloom could live forever ....Yet, for one brief moment it has its day in the sun Glory exposed for all to behold, it gives to the world its beauty, so freely ,so carefree , mission accomplished. Bowing out graciously as it perfume scent , then its colors then all of its essence fades slowly wilting away and with the sunset it dies unafraid...Lost to the world it is , yet for those that see deeply, Its memory will never go away ...It has bloomed upon their soul and will forever leave an impression so sensual it lives in inside them forever found........ Shed no tears for a flower lost, it beauty forever lives in your heart .
Apt is this description of ingratitude am I, for until now I was drowning in a mantra of pain ,Bellowing over , and over if it was so beautiful and so perfect why could it not stay ? So pristine, so pure, so innocent , so much life and love flowing into it, how could it have died so easily ?
I felt a love for her beyond measure. Perhaps the zenith of all that one can be given in life, but I was ungrateful for so great a gift. I mourn her lost and could not see how I was truly fortunate and blessed I was. One moment spent with her and the way she made me feel was the greatest thing I ever knew . One moment to see her smile at me in return and whisper the words I love you , even if it was only for a day, still took my breath away ..One moment in time the universe stopped and centered around me and allowed me to bloom...
I opened myself , and let in her , the Sun, my beautiful friend the one whom I gave all my love, One beautiful moment I spent my day in the sun , the death was imminent ,nothing that perfect can live forever . I understand to her it may be lost, but I found it lives still in my soul .. A love still pure and innocent and so full of life.
Even if Derema, never will I call my wife , I accept her beauty I honor her divinity, for a moment she chose to stop the universe and share a moment with me... Forever for that I can live a man happy knowing I had the greatest thing a man could ever be given love....
I loved her, I love her, I cannot ever stop doing that , no matter what, it will forever remain ,even if she has moved on and now has someone else to brighten her day ... A love you ignited in me that hopefully one day I will again feel something half so great , would mean that I wold be privileged and again blessed .
I pray she smiles I pray she finds her heart mended and love entering..I will sing at her wedding , for written forever in my soul will remain, Derema, my love
I am thankful for the moment that I got to bloom in your Sunshine, forever when I think of you I will find my smile...
Matt Shadowsong posted @ 20:44 - Link