I'll be faster next time. I wasn't fast enough so he still doesn't have one. I told Wolf I'd keep watch for one. I will. Maybe next time.

I'm getting cloaks when I train. They are newer then mine and less worn, but he gave me mine and I think it's the best of them. Last year at this time I could only use it as a blanket. Now I wear it everywhere. I sell the others. Some don't like wearing them. I know Light didn't. I don't know if he changed his mind though. I don't think he would.

I got some small stones and tried what she showed me yesterday. She was right it's not as easy as it looked, but it's not too hard either. Picking up the stones scrapes my hand a bit, maybe that's why she used almost caltrops. You don't have to drag your hand along the ground to get them.

I toss another stone in the air for the time. Like she did with the ball. I still don't see the fun in this game. Maybe I'll ask her next time I see her.

I'm going to rest now where it's pretty. I'll listen to the sounds and watch the view until my eyes have to shut.

I was in the Inn and someone dropped some almost-caltrops. I picked the one near me up and she took it back. We talked and she said her name was Shri. She seems nice.

She said it was for a game children play. She showed me how. It looked interesting. She said they played it for fun but then said it helped her coordination.

I don't think her mother had a good time though. Shri told me she and her sister always pulled her hair. I might throw caltrops too if that happened. But I think she'd need to sharpen them first. But maybe almost caltrops can hurt if you throw them hard enough.

Maybe I'll try this but with small stones when no one is around. It might be fun.

Sometimes it's nice to talk to people and not very scary at all.

I trained some more. If I keep working at it, I'll make it one of these days. But is training a goal or a means? That's something to think about. Why do I train? Why does anyone?

I said congrats to someone who trained and the crier called out his name. He thought I was someone else. It was odd. I think he understands now. I didn't know that so many people can look like each other but I guess they can.

Why is Badger so bored? He said he was the other day. I hope it goes away soon so he's happy again.

Lion said they made changes to their hall and I should come see. So I did. He likes drinking lemonade. I don't understand twhy he likes it but when he gave me some I took it. I even took a sip or two. I like the different types of ale more. Maybe I'll go to the island to get more. I don't want to go there to get it. I don't want to be a bother.

They cleaned up from that party they had. The crystals don't hang anymore. I liked them. Lion said there's an office and quarters. I took a look around when he got tired and went to rest. It's very nice.

I wonder if they'll have a big party again. It was big and loud but Kodi let me help and all. I learned to dance then too. I wonder where he is and if he's enjoying the change of seasons. I hope so.

I was training again. Thorin was there too. I wonder if he likes it there. I saw him dozing nearby later so maybe he does. When I told Lion about the place he didn't seem to like it too much.

I remember going there with lots of people when we could get there finally. I thought they might need someone to help with locks if Thorin was hurt. Now I can travel there myself. Things change sometimes fast and sometimes slow. I wonder if the places remember the changes or just the people?

I saw Talisk again. I asked him how he was doing. The last time he wasn't doing very well. Something smelled too. He left quickly. He had to go somewhere.

He stopped to talk this time. He said he's doing better. But I don't think he is. I don't think he thinks so either. He said I should watch Hansen because Hansen might be funning with him. I didn't know that people did that here.

Why would Hansen do something like that? Maybe I'll ask.

It's all very strange. I don't understand it, but he was nice to me so I'll help if I can.

People still say congratulations even though it's been a few days. That's awful nice of them. It surprises me that they notice.

Sometimes I wonder how they know since I think they were asleep. Maybe someone told them. I'm not in new armor so it can't be that. Someone asked if I was going to go to get my armor improved. Not right now. Probably not for a while.

They told me what I have to do and where I have to go. That makes me nervous. I came to Valorn. It's my home now. I don't want to leave. They said that people come back and I've seen that too. I just don't know. It doesn't matter right now and won't for a while. I have three and only need one so that's okay. But the other things, that will take longer.

Shawndora and I spoke a while. She told me Wolf took her to the Dead Zone once to show people fight. If things attack, do you need to know why or do you just kill them? It's confusing. She also talked about smells reminding her of home. I asked Panther about it and he explained it a bit. We both like Valorn and know it's home. If I'm home, I guess I don't need smells to remind me of it.

It took a long time but it's done. I spent lots of time in the deadlands and now I can spend more and go deeper too. I haven't seen Will but if his leg is better I said I'd help him get there. Maybe he'll find what he's looking for there.

It was quiet when I finished and went to rest. It's quiet again now. The other day Jael and I spoke. She was in the nearby forest. I guess she saw my tracks. It was nice.

We talked about how brave one must be to be a warrior. She had talked about how loud it was in the forest. I think warriors are loud then too but maybe they never need to be. Enchanters are smart. How else can they find their way and do all they do? She didn't say it, but I know that Clerics are wise. People say things about rogues and assume maybe assume other things too. But they don't have to be something. Not like the others.

People can be these things without those professions. Maybe people can even be in those professions without that. I don't know. Amzer told an initiate to ask people about why they were rogues. Or maybe it was what they liked about being a rogue. I don't really know. It was confusing. I don't think I helped very much.

I should have said I liked not having that expectation of being smart or wise or brave. I can just be me. That's the one thing I can do. Why is it easier to think of things to say after? It would be nice for words to be easier.

Maybe if they were, they wouldn't be so important then.

Badger is awful smart. He talked to me asking if I had any. I didn't. I'd already given Wolf's to someone who needed it. I said I'd keep looking for them if he wanted and he said he didn't need them. So I wonder why he asked. A while later I asked and he told me why.

He said he was bored and I said I was sorry about that. Badger said it wasn't my fault. I hadn't thought it was but then he said that and I got worried. Maybe it was. I told him that. He said it wasn't true cause no meteor hit him when he was talking to me.

I hadn't thought about that before. It made sense the way he said it.

I haven't seen Ildara or Agua or some others for a while. I hope they're okay. I saw Lion in Cerbies Grill. He was resting. It was good to see him.

I remember sitting in the Inn one day and hear Richard talk about cooking. I think it was before that cooking contest they had. I don't remember. He talked about ingredients and measurements and things like that. You had to be careful to not put too much or too little in.

Luck is like that. Bad and good there's only so much anyone gets. If you want more of one I guess you need the other too. Now I have two of them. I know people look for lots of them but I have two.

I found one before and an amulet and made what I wear now. I felt badly because others wanted them and I couldn't tell them how I got what I did. I wanted to give it to Light or others but it wouldn't leave my hand. People stared at it and commented on it. For a while I didn't wear it at all. Then I did. Others got some too so that was good.

I didn't know that it would mean ingredients would have to balance out though. They did. But now I have two more and only need one. I can't give the other away. I wonder how many measurements of the other sort I'll need now. Maybe now it's square. Three doesn't equal one afterall.

Agua is talking about people being forces. She says she doesn't believe in luck. Think of it rather. If you don't think about it can you still believe in it? It's a bit confusing so I'll listen harder. Maybe then it will make sense.

Sometimes things make more sense when you listen harder. Sometimes you need to leave it alone and the sense comes later.

Wolf said he had something and that I might know someone who wanted it. I forgot that when I saw him and he gave it to me. I thought he meant it for me and asked how he know. He said he didn't. Then I remembered what he said. I felt stupid. I'll keep it until I hear someone needs it. That's where it should go.

I saw tracks of someone today, then him. So I told someone I thought would like to know. She did. She said he was busy. He shared another's name, that was a surprise. I didn't know that could happen. She said he was gone a long time. Maybe that's why.

Friends say they rest in guild halls and they like having the guild family. It seems awful big. But guilds do nice things like throw parties and help people. The halls are nice to see too. I wonder how the guilds came to be. Maybe I'll ask someone.

She got it to him and that's good. It's where it should have gone all along. I wish I knew things as certainly as I knew that but I don't. Until I do, I won't. But he also accepted it from her and might not from me. He'll need it sometime. I won't

I thought it was best this way with the trouble I was told about and all. Maybe it isn't, but I don't know. When one is told one thing and believes it, after a while, even if it changes that first is still there. Still true maybe. Maybe not.

Skylsganin said once to go with what I thought and not what others did. It's hard but I'll try. He said other words once, but I think they meant the same. He used lots of fancy and busy words but when I asked he'd explain them. That was kind. He taught me lots.

Will Rook wants to go to the dead zone, I guess he knows how pretty it is too. He's been asking if we could go together so I could help. I might but until his leg is better I won't. Trouble I may be but I'll try not to be stupider then I can help. There are many who go. Why ask me? After talking with him I found he wants to look at the pictures. I only saw them once long ago on that expedition people went on. I remember it. It should be okay to go with him.

He wears a mask like Butterfly does. I haven't seen him in a while. I hope he's okay. There are many I haven't seen lately and some I daren't. It's only when you care about people that you can be bad for them.

Ildara made her goal and now she's looking to fill her crystal. I hope she finds what she's looking for.

I went to the bank and looked through what I had. Way in the back was the box he gave me before. I'd used it once, when he said to long ago at the Winter Ball. I can use it twice more. I wonder when I will. If I'll ever think the time is right.

People liked it, so maybe a time when people are around.

I have daggers and armor bits, candy and other things. It's funny what people save. I still have one of her string pieces. I gave the others away to people who looked like they might need them. I put the stone there so it would be safe. I wouldn't want anything to happen to it. Even though I don't carry it, I still know it's there.

That's important. So it's safe with the box and other things.

Spin a coin and after a while the images blur together. Memories are like that two I guess. But maybe both were there the whole time and it just couldn't be seen before. Can you unspin something, can you take away an image? Sometimes people say they don't remember things, maybe they've unspun.

Jaltz was in the Inn. It was good to see him. It had been a while. Sreip was there too. She's awfully kind. She left to go harvesting I think and I left too. There was someone really tall who came in. He must not have had any siblings.

It's funny looking at the market and seeing festival things for sale. They can't be used for another year but people are stocking up on them.

I went to the quiet dark and someone was there but she didn't mind me going in and out. She said she didn't want to be in her guild hall. I wonder why. It's good to know others like the quiet dark too. Xanthias was there but I don't think he should have been. He got in trouble. I told him that next time if he wanted I'd come with him and help. I don't think he minded. He wears that big helm so it's hard to see.

I hope she's doing better.

I need to be awake more. I want to see things and people. Just not the important ones.

Festival is over. All the costumes are away and the candy seller gone. I put a piece of candy away again. There will be time to bring it out. There was this year.

Another letter and I don't know what to do. I put it away safely. Another thinking.

The dead zone has things I can't fight yet. Eagle offered to help, but it's best I not bother her. Even if she says it isn't. I remember what he told me a long time ago.

Ildara is almost at her goal. I hope it comes soon for her. Others are too. What happens when you reach it? Do you make another or just stop worrying about them? But what if your goal isn't something you can train or strive for but it just happens?

People came back. Some said it was for festival. Will they leave now? I hope not, but if they do, they'll be back next festival.

It's all a circle like a candyball.

Sorry and luck and trouble and hearts. There was lots of talking today. Shawndora waved as I went by and when I said sorry for not stopping she said I shouldn't say sorry. That life is too short for that. That doesn't make sense. So I asked her more. I think we both have lots of thinking to do.

She said friends don't have to because they already know. That doesn't seem right. We talked more and she said we'll talk more about it later. She says there are differences. I guess she's right.

Luck is a funny thing too. Depending on what kind you either want it or not. But do you always know looking at it which sort it is? I wished Ildara and a newcomer it. I know what sort I was hoping for. They knew too. Both types can happen but you only wish good on people.

Someone I sent a note to talked about what profession he wants. He says he knows it in his heart. That's a strange saying. I thought you knew things in your head and felt them in your heart. Maybe you can do both.

I saw Shade and put some candy in his bag. I remember last festival he asked me if I wanted any. This time I gave him some. He shouldn't sleep in public though someone could be mean to him. I guess he doesn't worry about that.

There was lots last festival I wish was here and I could have again. I wish I knew the type of luck. I know that each festival and each day is different. Shawndora said each day is new and can hold anything. That's good.

I got asked if I liked myself today. I never thought about it before. I suppose it is something else to think about though. You like or dislike others, but yourself? There's so many things to think about. It's more difficult and tiring then training sometimes.

Light wrote me a note. I know I shouldn't but I wrote back. I hope the bad luck doesn't go with the note though.

Shade and Wolf were around so I told them about trouble. I didn't want them catching it. Shade was surprised and talked like he thought he was trouble. He's not. He's a good one. Why would anyone think he was? Wolf talked about how people make their own and someone else doesn't have bad or good luck for them. I'd believe him but recently he said he could be wrong on things that anyone could.

So is he wrong here or not? I don't know. I hope not.

He didn't say much when I told him what I thought about the dead zone. I went back to take another look and I still think so.

On the way there I saw he was talking with Bella. It didn't make sense at first then I understood. I even said what I thought about it and no one scowled at me or yelled. That was nice. Here is much better then any there I can think of.

Ildara is training there too. She said to call for help if I needed any. That was good of her. I told I would do the same even though I know she won't need any of the help I might be able to do. But I'm learning.

Home is a new place now. It's still in the quiet dark, just another part. I haven't seen many here and that's good. It's difficult to rest when people come and go. It's warm too. It's a good place to sleep.

I was lonely and went to the Inn. No one was there so I went to the other place. Skylsganin was there and there was a funny woman too. She wore lots of bangles. She was talking and had been bonded to lots of people. Each one died but she called it passing. Another metaphor.

I don't think she hears very well. She talks lots though.

I saw Matthias too. He was talking with Sreip. That's good.

I will be patient and wait for the trouble to go away. It's best sometimes. Sometimes it isn't. When do people know which to do?

It doesn't work. I've tried staying awake more hoping it would help but it doesn't.

They tried saying I wasn't trouble, but I know I am. Too many things have happened that show me that. I went to the Dead Zone and people says it's terrible but it looked pretty to me. I wonder if I could stay there.

He went away and maybe I should follow, but I'd just bring it with me I guess. That's not right. I went to write on the balcony wishing it would help, but it hasn't He used to teach here. On the way I wanted to take the road north instead. That's not right. I can't bring bad things there again.

I don't have anything to take care of. Maybe I should go home.

Smoke is back. It's good to see him. He asked how things were and I didn't have much to say. Then he explained what he meant. I realized that Smoke likes to know the same things as he did before he left. Even thought they're different people they have some of the same questions. Why?

It was good to talk about it with someone again. Though I don't know why he wanted to hear me yammer.

I did it. I didn't think I could, but I did. She'll get it to him. That's good. I know he'll need it soon. I finished training and went to speak to Ural. He helped me out and I put on my new armor. It feels different.

I need to figure what to do now.

She said if I did she'd make sure he got it instead. That's good. I'm glad. I don't know if it will need to happen but if it does she make sure it happens.

Wolf asked if my trouble was taken care of. He remembered, so it must be important. I told him I was staying away from being trouble and all and he said that's good. I need to make sure to continue so he doesn't get upset.

Ildara is training more and we talk sometimes. I leave so she has the people to talk to too, but I train close. She doesn't like inns much she says. I think she's lonely. I know how that feels. She talked about being a boat. I don't think she's one.

Jael noticed some of the tatting and complimented it. She suggested I use gray. But if I did it wouldn't be blackrose pattern anymore. She liked it and I gave her some. It should be given away to people who like it so they can wear it. I think he'd like that.

I went to see it but it got cancelled. Maybe I'll be around when it's uncancelled. I just wanted to see what one would be like. Another time I guess. Did wanting to go make it not happen? I hope not.

Ildara is training and I've talked with her a bit. I remember her face in the sky and Alanna saying she took her to the temple. She likes what she does now. Did she have to practice alot and get really good before she became a warrior? Maybe I'll ask her.

I had tokens and found people who wanted them or didn't yell when I gave them to them. I hope she doesn't mind. But she was standing there and the costume person was too.

Skylsganin and I talked a bit. It's nice here. Even when it's not it's still a good place to be. Sometimes I think the quiet yells.