I have had the very strangest dreams this last night.

That dearest of ones floated through them all, as ever, and so they were good dreams. That is a comfort at least.
In my dream I was woken by My Lord JKD. “You are needed, Vardian dear” he said. There was a great to do in the guild house. At first I thought I had caused some disturbance by sleeping atop the lookout tower, but there was talk of search parties. The lady Shannara’s name was mentioned and My Lord Dagobert. Then also Jake and Captain Eldrin. I tried to shout that I had seen Jake and he was going to come to tea, but no-one heard me. I think the voices were discussing using the Magical Pirate’s ship to mount a search for something in the Eastern seas, but that he had not been seen so was perhaps using it to go to Ethucan. In my dream I saw Lunitani copying friezes from the walls of the great Cathedral of Ben onto the walls of the dining hall. I was upset by this in case Richard did not like the grandeur and so I spread straw on the floors in front of the fireplace in the dining hall to try and make it look more commonplace.

Then we were all scattered throughout the land though I cannot remember how I got to the hunting preserve. There was a booming Dark voice that spread a chill through my body and sweat to lay on my skin as I slept. It laughed and said that we were now nothing at all. I put my hands over my head to stop the noise and then realized I was being carried by Richard who was cross with me.
Then we were, in the wink of an eye, back in the guildhouse, all together in a jumble atop the watchtower with Purazon standing in our midst, Ultimate Weapon held aloft still flashing its blinding light and his axe said ‘show off’.

Now I am awake, I simply do not know what to make of these things. I think the thought I keep most is that together we are everything, apart nothing….. and that though we may yearn to see folks, their path is their own. They will find us again when it is the right time. I hope so.

I hardly know what to write. It has been a time of reaquaintance. It has been a time of unmeasured joy. It has been a time of ...almost shock. That dearest of ones is safe and well, soft and gentle, brave and true, and delivered to me by the kindness of a dear friend. I thought I should faint from shortness of breath so dizzy did I feel with all the delight in our time. A fire, warmth, stars, words, eyes, gentle touch, love, all melt in my eyes into one precious night.

I have seen my beloved guildmates - dear Bris looking so poised and with a fire in his eyes from training; the news of talking weapons in his ears.

And then there he was. As though he had never been away. Looking lean and honed and well in himself. My hunter in green, my babysitter, my dance teacher, my brother. He brought me tea, what else? Strong and pungeant, yet fragrant and refreshing. I was so rude - I spoke presuming that Bris and he knew each other. Has it really been so very long? Well, now they are met and all for the good. Had he seen the changes in the halls? He was disparaging as ever. When we have time to muse without that first flush of shock and recognition I will ask him if he dislikes my decorations in the House of Worship.

I asked who he had seen and dearest Purazon and Knight Azure were on his lips. Indeed, he had heard the most solemn and sorrowful of news from dearest Purazon and I confess my cowardly self was glad of it. I shrivel and shrink inside to think upon it still though I cannot let it show. To bring pain to others through that you feel yourself cannot be fair. I could see my even raising the subject had caused him discomfort. Gruffly he said yes, he had seen and knew the reason for our new memorial. I hope that at least does not feel too grand for him.

We teased each other. I in my presuming ants everywhere were running for their very lives and he in despairing of his sister - I can see that last time in the mountains as though it were just yesterday.

I do not know yet whether he ever received my letters. That perhaps is talk for another day.

Oh my dearest gods, beloved godesses, oh what things I have to be thankful for this day. And believe me, I am.

This day I sang to my gods with a heart full of joy and thanks and my soul full of......life.

I hope I did not offend their ears!

How lovely it was to see Knight Azure; even in such an abhorrent place as that I currently spend my time in. She never seems happier than when she stuffs my pack full of food – these lovely offerings were passed on from Urkki as a result of a long-gone contest. How far away such things seem now. As well as food, she had news. Though some may have thought it scant if they had heard it, it was like a wonderful revelation to me and I was able to go to my rest in peace.

I find I am quite…well, cheerful is not quite the word for it, but content with my lot despite it being in the dark lands among the bright and terrifying wildfire creatures and the grazers. I have stopped even picking up the cloaks now for I find the weight uncomfortable to carry and a hindrance to my training. After my last fight with a grazer I was suddenly flashed back to a far more distant past as I gazed upon the cloak. How clearly I remember my Lord Dagobert wearing such a garment. How I miss him. My last memories of him were far from pleasant. It is always hard to see anyone in despair. I can see his face now reflected in the firelight bouncing off the shimmering walls of the Fartown Inn. I shake these thoughts away: better to remember the man who was so very kind and generous to others as well as myself. To watch him battle was always a privilege. My dear sponsor. Perhaps we will meet again one day.

All my efforts stay bent on training that I might make dear Purazon proud while bettering myself for the gods’ work and to protect and serve the Queen. Progress is slow, but it is being made.