"As the air warms at Sunrifter's glorious progress I feel it penetrate my body until I am warmed to the core and bask in the comfort of it. The light seems so clear, so very pure. None of the gruesome fetidness seems to rise from that tortured landscape below. The blessed, hopeful beacon of holy light beams out stronger from the city today reflected and strengthened in Sunrifter's blaze.

Food and drink never tasted so good. It is as though my tongue has awakened anew and my stomach takes it down joyfully.

And they are content and carefree. Their face seems soothed and calm. Their voice is gentle and their spirit generous.

A marc a day, a day a week........ ah if only......"

I must have dozed but for a few moments - let them stay with me as much as the shadows of dreams less palatable.

Time seems to have stood still somewhere during the past few days. I have a strange sort of floating sensation; I drift about the lands like a disembodied spirit. I should not write such things for such creatures exist.

It seems so long since I saw them. Our time last was so very brief though whispered words last forever. I find myself drawn to the lake often. I can imagine them sitting here thinking and pondering on all those matters that they must. There is something soothing and calming about it and I feel as though many answers lie on the deep waters. They beckon to me. I feel I could let myself fall into them and be dragged down into the cool, then icy, depths. What would I find there I wonder? I have always felt that the deeper, secret waters of the land know much more than a first glance would show. They team with life, of course. But they hide so much. We see but the surface. That is like a skin and shows nothing of the body beneath. We may sail upon it, even pull occasional treasures if we have enough patience that will delight us and leave us satisfied.

I have come to think lately that so it is with some people in the land; an indefinable depth that I will never be able to reach the bottom of. So be it. I never was a very good swimmer.

I managed to use a stick to pull in one of the flowers today. I think on flowers a lot too. How they come from tightly coiled buds, afraid to let the land see them and afraid that the life outside might hurt or destroy them, and then gradually get warmed by sunrifter until they are coaxed to uncurl, finally abandoning themselves wide open to the warmth of Sunrifter’s rays, drinking that beautiful radiance and giving back all their colour and beauty and heady scents. To be likened to a flower; yes short words last beyond forever.

I took it and have rubbed its beautiful petals with some beeswax left from the honey used to make mead. It has encased its beauty in wax - I wonder how long it might last. I will wear it in my hair if the gods grant me the occasion. The thanks I gave in the temple at Milltown yesterday are so inadequate for the wonders of that place and the wonders that are the memories I can happily think on there.

I have been helping those in need and those new to the lands where I can, but as to training I have done none of late and I admit I feel anxious about it. I know this limbo cannot continue much longer, but I cannot help but shadow the quiet places and the safer places. I am not alone, but I feel alone and have a nagging disquiet. If I were honest I am afraid to go back into the wilds just now - I will be fine again as soon as I have word from them or see them.

Ungrateful irritability describes me best I think.

It is astonishing. When you think all is well and settled, and life runs smooth, the strangest of unexpected and deeply shocking things can happen. I feel I cannot face anyone. By Cory I did not even have the time to enjoy the news and record my thoughts. I think I will spend some time catalogueing. Some time among order and knowledge. It seems I have much to learn after all, so what better employment?