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Darkened hours
Saturday, 25 October 2014
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Home.

I never thought I would be so glad to see it again. Although, in my absence the guild hall seems to have been misplaced. But, these things happen. At least I cannot be held responsible for it this time. Unlike that other time with the blood demons, that one I can take credit for.

Mistakes happen.

It feels so good to be back. There was too much mayhem and heartache upon that voyage. I wish my sister would come to terms with the fact that we shall never see our brother again. He is lost, and his soul rests in the sea along with mum and pa.

She was never one to deal with reality though.

I think I came to terms with these things long ago. And though she drives me mad, I play along with her escapades because they give her hope. But this was the last time.

It's really time for her to move on.

Enough about that though. I'm putting it behind me where it should have stayed all those years ago. I just know that it actually feels good to come home to smiling faces and open arms. My fear of anger at my abrupt disappearance flitted away on the wind as I heard my name called out and strong arms wrap around me, holding me close and his voice whispering in my ear to hush and that all is well.

The shock of finding those arms still open and waiting for me, words cannot begin to describe it.

I know there have been others since I left, but I will not hold that against him. All that really matters is the here and now. This long journey has taught me that. You cannot dwell in the past, hold on to things that happened long ago. You must learn to let those things go and hold tight to what really matters in the now. Happiness does not come from clinging to those things that cannot be changed. One can only grow old and bitter by doing that.

I don't want to grow old, bitter and alone.


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» Rowan Absentia posted @ 11:58 »»» - Link - comments
Sunday, 19 October 2014
It always amazes me at how such a small amount of plat can buy so much fun. Grease a few palms and suddenly the pirate wench is bellowing and wallowing in misery.

It's the small things that keep me amused.

I do wonder how much more mischief I can get into before she catches me. She always was a little slow on the uptake. I think all that ale has pickled her brain. Or perhaps that hat of hers is cutting off the necessary bloodflow to keep her neurons from working properly. Either way, it is making this little journey a bit more bearable.

I now have a small bag of lemons, times will get more interesting.

*here sits a small sketch of a lemon with razor sharp teeth grinning most evilly*

With all this mischief though I cannot help but miss Jobe. I am pretty sure he would be enjoying this. I can't help but think back to our talks of travel and adventure and feel guilty that I could not bring him along on this journey. I can just picture him now lounging about on deck, napping in the sun like the big lazy cat that he is. Or sitting in the corner sharing his wine while we plot out some new way to drive my sister crazy.

It's times like these that I realize just how much I miss him.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 01:46 »»» - Link - comments
Monday, 13 October 2014
Oh the stomping and curses. It gives me a little touch of joy while I am stuck on this floating rat trap. As long as I am forced to be here there shall be lemons. Glorious, glorious lemons.

There will come a time that at just the sight of one of these little yellow treasures she will scream. And for every scream my smile will widen just a fraction more.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 15:51 »»» - Link - comments
Sunday, 28 September 2014
It's as if I am destined to never rest, never stay in one place for long. I had only just returned from one of my many forays into the wilds searching for knowledge, power, anything to bring my mind closer to that peak of knowledge that I always strive for but never seem to reach.
I rented my usual room from Mr. Morgan and dragged myself under the covers. Just a short rest, that is all I asked for.

Word travels fast in these parts, I always seem to forget that.

It seems that my eyes had only just closed when she came pounding on the door. Loud, brazen and overly obnoxious as always. I sometimes wish she had gotten lost in her desert, perhaps gone down with one of her ships. Or better yet, just disappear into the bottom of her ale and never resurface. That would be nice. Then there would be atleast some peace and quiet.

Sisters can be such a pain.

I tried to ignore her, hiding further under my blankets in hopes that it was just a bad dream that would fade away. Alas, I knew it wasn't when I heard her picking the lock. Blasted woman. I don't know how Seragil puts up with her shenanigans. Well actually I do, he loves her. And deep down somewhere I do to. That would be the only reason why I haven't made her spontaneously combust by now.

After all of her crazy ramblings once she managed to fumble her way in, I can understand her urgency. The words fell from her mouth, and I could barely believe all that I was hearing. One that we thought was lost, gone to the bottom of the sea with our parents all those years ago could possibly still be alive.

So now I leave again in the morning. Another voyage across the seas, stuck on a boat for the Gods know how long with my sister. The witch and the wench on what will hopefully be our last adventure, one that ends with our hopes and dreams being fulfilled.

I wish I had time to say my goodbyes to those that deserved them. Once again I feel like a wraith, just floating in and out of peoples lives for a brief moment. I hope those that matter will stay safe and happy in my absence.

Take care my friends.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 21:50 »»» - Link - comments
Tuesday, 06 May 2014
He is gone. Suddenly and without ample warning he decided to leave. A piece of my heart has left with him. Ours was a friendship of love, hate, indecision and regrets. I feel so empty inside, numb even. To be blindsided with so much, so quickly, and not have the time to work through it. I just don't know what to do. I keep dwelling on what could have been, what might of been..

I will never forget you G. Be safe, wherever your journey takes you.


» Rowan Absentia posted @ 01:00 »»» - Link - comments
Sunday, 04 May 2014


*An angry and ludicrously cartoonish drawing sits directly in the middle of the page. Bold scribbles and what appear to be marks from a pencil being stabbed into the pages of the book repeatedly are scattered across the paper.*


» Rowan Absentia posted @ 17:32 »»» - Link - comments
Saturday, 03 May 2014
*a sketch of a sleeping man sits at the top of the page*



I'm just so tired. Everything seems to be falling apart around me, and I have no idea how to piece it all back together. The only bright moment I've had is from being sneaky and spying on someone long enough to get this sketch drawn. I should show it to him, but I don't know if he will like it. I fear one more bit of disappointment in my life right now will be the end of me.

It's times like these that I wish I could just hop on a boat and sail away forever, runaway and escape. What I would give for a carefree life at see with no worries or regrets. Just the ocean below me, and the rifter above.

Sadly, I think such dream are just for children.

*a few wet drops stain the bottom of the page*


» Rowan Absentia posted @ 00:17 »»» - Link - comments
Wednesday, 16 April 2014
I finally made my peace today, and said my final goodbye.

I took the only thing I had left of him from the bank. The small velvet bag felt so heavy as I clutched it to my chest. And even heavier still as I stood there in the desert, the hole dug in the sand just waiting for me to place that last memento into it.

I chose that place, that little spot in the desert where my old home had stood, because that was where everything took place. The games, harsh words, arguments... And after so many moons of playing cat and mouse, it was where his confession of love was proclaimed.

No one knew him quite like I did. People looked and treated him at times like he was the prodigy of Balthazar himself. He didn't mind, even encouraged it. All others saw was a dark heart attached to an evil soul. But I knew him differently.

I knew him as the man that had an iron will, a sense of pride, and I saw him with the twinkle of humor in his eyes. He was the man that pulled me out of my pit of despair. Who picked up the pieces of what my bonded had done to me, even going so far as to challenge him in a fight over my honor. I still remember the day that I heard of his confrontation with Skyls, how he spat in his face for betraying me with another. I was shocked, and had no idea what to think. This man that had been nothing but rude, sometimes even nasty to me stood in the face of a warrior greater in strength and stared him down.

I was shocked, and so grateful at the same time.

For weeks after we danced a careful dance. Sometimes slipping up, letting small tidbits fall from our lips, only to ignore eachother after for days at a time. But when his true feelings came to the surface, my heart told me that it felt the same.

To me he was kind. His whispered words made my heart feel whole again, his arms gave me comfort that others thought he could not give. He never betrayed me, he never lied. He only ever broke one promise to me, the promise that he would never leave. But that isn't truly fair of me to say. He did not mean to break it, it was not his choice.

When word of his death reached my ears, my world was shattered. For all these long seasons I have continued to mourn. But with each season, the pain became less. It is no longer a soul searing pain, but a dull ache in my chest when my memories reach out to those days long ago.

Today I laid his memory to rest as I buried his ring under the warm desert sand, surrounded by the memories of all that we had shared.

Goodbye Malus.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 02:47 »»» - Link - comments
Saturday, 12 April 2014
I feel so tired. I honestly don't think there is a place on my body that does not hurt. So many raids, so many attacks.. I wish this madness would just end. I've seen so many fall, and I can still smell blood and battle. I can taste it in the back of my throat.

It seems as if I have done nothing the past few days but fight, my body is a picture of cuts and bruises. The cycle just keeps repeating; Fight, fall, crawl my way back from the life monument. Sometimes I do get the upperhand, but those times are becoming fewer and fewer.

Yesterday was pure hell. Balthazar attacked the lands in full force, my own sister fell under the full fury of his wrath. His demons infested the Vanguard halls, and it was a furious and bloody battle. Every room a battleground. Even knowing that I had no chance I still charged in, terrified and shaking, but I had to try to do something. I threw enchanters fire as fast as I could, not knowing if it did anything other then make the demons laugh, but it had to be done.

And then came the towns, everywhere was struck at once in an organized attack. The main focus being on the Temple of Branishor and the Castle. The Dark Lords spies must have known the Queen was in attendance, I am just glad the Knights were there to protect her.

But there is always a calm in the storm, a moment where one is lulled into thinking that the worst is over. Before anyone could clean the blood from their blades, the gore from their faces, my own Hall was attacked. Every room crawled with demons the likes of which I have never seen. My dreams will be filled with those dark, twisted faces for a long time. So many people came to fight, but the horde was so strong. Even the most skilled and valiant of fighters were being crushed under foot.

The outside of the hall become a triage, with clerics and young initiates tending the wounded. For hours the fight went on, again I did what I could, but it just wasn't enough. Avedis stood fast though with Cody, Bris, Quasha, Gerse, and Haven fighting at his side. Even with such strength of arms and magic, it was a brutal and vicious battle that lasted for what seemed like forever.

But, I am ashamed of myself. I tried to help, to fight where I could and to lend my magic even if it meant my own death. But before the fight was over I was done. I could no longer stand on my own 2 feet. I found myself collapsing outside the Branishor Temple as I tried to get more medical supplies. I feel so weak, and so inept. I know I tried, and I keep telling myself that. But deep down I can't help but feeling as if I let them all down. My friends and my family. If only I was stronger.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 15:23 »»» - Link - comments
Friday, 11 April 2014


*a hasty sketch fills the page, it appears to be of a small waterfall falling into a small pool.*




» Rowan Absentia posted @ 01:00 »»» - Link - comments
Sunday, 06 April 2014
- Note to self -

Sometimes being a sneaky pickpocket really does pay off.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 20:49 »»» - Link - comments
*a light sketch of the lake as seen from the casles balcony covers the top of the page*

Things I've learned today;

I have really small hands, and rather tiny fingers.
Moonbathing can be just as wonderful as sunbathing.
Watching someone not swallow their pride and accept a hand can be quite entertaining.
The demon lord has a very quirky sense of humor.
Sometimes being part of something bigger isn't a bad thing.
Having a day where one can forget about the past for a while is truly refreshing.
Sometimes even the most vexing people in your life mean more to you then you realize.
Taking a nap when you need it, instead of when you think you should is probably a bad idea.
At times, it's just best to let things go.
Wine really does go strait to my head.
And once in a while, others are just as confused about their life as you are.



*on the opposite page is a sketch of part of the throne room from the castle. The wall is mostly destroyed, claw marks cover its surface. The seals that once were in place, lay mostly in tatters. A few illegible notes are written along the border of the picture*[I]

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 00:41 »»» - Link - comments
Saturday, 05 April 2014
These appear to be interesting times...

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 11:36 »»» - Link - comments
Thursday, 03 April 2014
My moment of relief and happiness at being home seem to be shortlived. I can feel the need to wander growing again, and sadly I can't seem to find anything to keep me here. So many things changed in the brief time I was gone. It is just all so confusing. I rarely see my guildmates, and when I do they have other things occupying their time. The few people that I called "friend" outside of the guild have all but disappeared. I am thinking of leaving again. Packing what few things I have and just going walkabout indefinitely, I have this sinking feeling in my gut that I wouldn't be missed. I shall think on this decision for a few days before putting any plan into action. Maybe things will change in that time... That is a very big and uncertain maybe.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 04:54 »»» - Link - comments (1)
Sunday, 23 March 2014
Sometimes I just feel like a stranger...

*A sketch of a vast expanse of sea fills the bottom of the page. The sky looks as if there will be a great storm, dark swirling clouds spread out into the horizon. In the middle of the ocean is a small vessel, with a lone figure sitting in the middle. The figures head appears to be looking down into the water, one hand trailing across it's surface.*

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 22:46 »»» - Link - comments
Sunday, 09 March 2014
I've been wandering the lands for what seems months, never planning on anything, just taking things as they come. It's been a journey filled with highs and lows, dangerous moments, and unexpected laughter. I can honestly say though that I am glad to be home. I've missed the smell of the sea air as I stand on the shores of Killican. The dangerous whispers in the trees of the Dark Forest. The call of Haggie as he wanders Bran peddling his wares. I've never been the sentimental type, but it is amazing what you miss when you no longer have it close at hand.

It's good to be home.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 04:47 »»» - Link - comments
Thursday, 19 September 2013
Another day, another level in power. I still need those last 3 elusive red spells, and then I'm in for the long grind of trying to collect those pesky blues. I dread the thought. I've heard nightmare stories from others about how hard they are to come by, I just hope my patience will hold out.

I haven't seen much if Nih as of late. With his new postition of High Lord he has been quite the busy little rogue I think. I did get to see Darrath the other day though. He has been quite lazy as of late and I told him so. I made sure he was absolutely shining with enchantments before giving him a swift kick in the butt to make him go train. I think he has just been basking in the glow of his romance with Damian. Those two are truly disgusting with the cuteness.

I think I am going to relax for a day or two, perhaps spend some time in my caves and gather my thoughts before starting in on a new round of training.

*a doodle of a hulking redhead holding hands with a shorter blonde sits on the bottom of the page. It is surrounded by little hearts and smiley faces . Further to the left is another doodle, hastily drawn, of what can only be a cockactrice wearing a tricorn cap riding on the back of what could be a plains cat. A few other random scribbles fill the bottom of the page.*

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 11:19 »»» - Link - comments
Friday, 13 September 2013
*scribbled onto the page is a decent looking picture of korunga slug that appears to be crawling on someones face. It is shaded quite nicely to highlight its slugginess*

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 19:42 »»» - Link - comments
Thursday, 12 September 2013
Helped clear away a horde of gremlins from Branishor earlier with the help of my dear old friend Darkus. Doyle was there as well giving great encouragement. I have not seen him about in many a moon. We three had a good fun chat before it was off to the beaches again. So far the sharks have given me nothing but trouble. Darkus and Drako have been down roaming the beaches as well with just as much luck. I think sharks may have changed feeding grounds as all they seem to be coughing up are cloaks, hats, and ferry tickets. I'm just glad I am no longer down there alone, having the 2 men there makes the crystal search a lot easier.

I did manage to gain another level as well, that was a wonderful achievement. I celebrated by harrassing Nih while we sat away the day in the shade of the forest waiting for the rifter to set. I actually had wine for the first time, I'm not sure if it is to my liking. I think I shall stick with lemonade and nectar from now on as they are much easier on the palate. But Nih had brought it along so I wasn't going to turn it down.

I also met 2 new people as well, Aife and Isolde. My dear little Cally just sponsored Aife into the ways of the warrior, she seems like a very nice girl though I fear I may have made her nervous. My people skills are still not very good. Isolde seemed a bit jumpy as well, but I think that is just because Nih was having a bit of fun teasing her. Apparently she has applied to join us in the Nocturnal Hand, I hope she makes it as she seems quite pleasant. And having a few new faces around is always a good thing.

Not much else to report, so I think I shall get off my lazy butt and get back to hunting. Perhaps I shall get lucky and find the key to another new spell.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 06:07 »»» - Link - comments
Tuesday, 03 September 2013
My feet ache. I did not think it was possible for them to hurt this much. All my dancing and leaping about has come back to haunt me the past few days. But, atleast I am out of that silly costume. Although I did quite like how Haven had painted up my face, I found it amazing honestly. Atleast I was not the only one in costume. It was brilliant what everyone in the guild came up with. From firey wings, to dancing dresses, and even a talking rat head on a stick. Oh Ratsy, I think we could have been great friends.

I am so glad that all of our hard work paid off. The Carnival of the Hand was a bigger success then we had hoped. So many people came, and the halls were filled with the sounds of astonishment and laughter into the wee hours of the morning. Pallas and Lowrenzo were brilliant in the dagger contest from what I was told. Haven said she hadn't seen skill like that in a good long time. And Sehdae with her beard. I could hear her and Damian of the stripy tights bantering even outside.

Even now as I write this, I can hear my fellow guildmates whispering in the next room. They are plotting our next great endeavor. I admit, I am kind of scared, but excited at the prospect as well. Though I think the next big event we might be holding could be a bonding. Damian and Darrath do make quite the pair, those two are such opposites, yet they work so well together. I am sure it is a great relief to Sehdae, as Damian has been a bit of a thorn in her side. Ah, young love. It keeps me amused.

In other news, I've been seeing quite a bit of Nih lately. He has made my life decidedly easier, agreeing to go fetch me cookies for a small fee. Saves me from having to walk all the way to Caer Laedan. I find him a bit perplexing, as I never quite know when he is being serious, or when he is jesting. Doesn't matter really. He keeps me company, and is one of the few that I feel comfortable talking to. And the cookies, did I mention the cookies? Oh yes, I did. As long as he keeps the cookies coming, and doesn't try to gnaw on my leg or anything I think we will become great friends in time.

That's all I can think of for now. I'm so tired from all the festivities, it is definitely time for a good long sleep.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 02:14 »»» - Link - comments
Wednesday, 21 August 2013
I was greeted by a few new faces today as I wandered around the guildhall trying to figure out where everything is to go for the Carnival. I greatly approve of the newest members of our little family. Darrath is quite the clown. He spent a full marc trying get one of the swamp gators to dance with him, I fully expected him to lose a hand. If he lives to see the fall festival it will be a miracle as that boy is brazen. On the other hand we have Nih, quite the snarky demon he is. I think he will make things more then a bit interesting. It will be quite fun to see how he and Serg get along. Then there is Beazy, I honestly don't think I want to venture there, as words just can't describe the Beaz.

In other news, I've been trying to get some training done in between helping out some new friends, threatening Damian with harm, and preparing for the Carnivale. Sadly, the training is going very slow. I just never seem to have enough time. Once things calm down a bit I will hopefully reach my next power accension. Heres to crossing fingers and hoping.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 17:47 »»» - Link - comments
Wednesday, 07 August 2013
Woke up from my rest to find that someone had been messing around in my pack. How I didn't wake up to such an intrusion I'll never know. Thankfully nothing had been taken, but instead I found a few new items. Apparently Damian thinks he is a comedian. The fool snuck up on me whilst I was asleep to slip a bottle of sweet nectar, a few cookies, and a brilliant blue blossom into my pack. I never would have known who had done it if not for the fact that he tied a note to the bottle that was adorned with a smiley face and the letter D. I am definitely going to set his feet on fire when I find him.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 02:39 »»» - Link - comments
Monday, 05 August 2013
Train, train, train... It's all I have been doing. At least the beach is nice. I know I am a bit strong for these landrays, but they still put up a decent fight. And here I get to enjoy the sun, surf, and sand. What better place could there be? I'm starting to feel a little bit more like myself each day I am here. Big D has been helping me along with his constant pestering, if he wasn't a guildmate I would have probably set his feet on fire ages ago for being a nuisance. I can't really complain though, he is just being a good friend and it is appreciated. But for now I should stop my slacking and get back to slaying.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 00:25 »»» - Link - comments
Friday, 05 July 2013
I've felt so lost the past few days. It's almost like I am walking througha haze. It's amazing how just one person can have such an effect on oneself. I've been trying so hard to stay strong and to keep my emotions in check, but I fear my will is weak. I just wish I could keep my heart in one piece, but it has been broken so many times that I fear I have lost all possible hope of solidarity. I can't even find peace of mind in my usual refuge. Stepping into the caves brings back so many memories of Malus, and those happy memories are always marred by the loss of him. His death played such a toll on me. And now just when I thought I could find that happiness I once held again, it has been torn from me by a simple act of deception. Even though my anger rages at being played the fool, I still keep G in mind. I know I will forgive him eventually, but the pain is still to fresh for it right now.

Atleast today I had some small relief from my heartbreak, even if it was only for a short time. I spent time with Sibel and met Callaya, those two brought a smile to my face and a few moments of reprieve from the storms raging in my head. I was so happy to bring them both into our happy little family here at the Hand, though I am not sure if Sibel quite understood what was going on. But they both seemed quite happy to be included in our circle of friends, so all is well I think.

If only I could hold onto that moment with all of us laughing and dancing around in the forest...

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 14:01 »»» - Link - comments
Saturday, 29 June 2013
*here is what remains of a sketch of a beach with two figures sitting on the shore. The picture has been smeared and is almost unrecognizable from the image of what it once was.*

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 21:45 »»» - Link - comments
Sunday, 23 June 2013
I really just want to go sit by the sea with a cool nectar, my favorite pillow, and just soak up the sunrifter's rays.


*a hasty sketch of a vast body of water in front of a long stretch of beach, palm trees scattered along the shoreline. Two figures appear to be sitting beneath one of the trees with their faces turned towards the sun*

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 02:00 »»» - Link - comments
Friday, 21 June 2013
*sketched onto the page is a picture of a dark hole with a ladder going down. If one looks close enough, you can just make out the eyes and shape of an Obsidian Claw Minion staring up from the bottom of the hole*

My training is going so slow, and it seems like I have been down in these mines for days. I'm not sure if it is day or night outside. And I find all this darkness and gloom a touch depressing. I will be happy when I can visit the trainer again and leave this pit to the monsters that dwell within.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 23:52 »»» - Link - comments
Thursday, 20 June 2013
I took on my second apprentice this week. She is a fiesty one, reminds me of myself from my younger days. Last night I brought young Aisling to the temple, and she has taken on the Enchanter's mantle. I know she will do me proud. I have not seen such strength of character in a long time. She will do well.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 01:44 »»» - Link - comments
Tuesday, 11 June 2013
*sloppily drawn is a picture of a rather evil looking shark. It appears to be trying to eat a small red headed figure in robes. The figure looks to be trying to hit said shark on the head with a big stick*

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 19:37 »»» - Link - comments
I hate being confused. It's one of those emotions that I just don't handle well. I think I shall take a few days to eat cookies and sort out the mess in my head.

» Rowan Absentia posted @ 16:53 »»» - Link - comments