It’s so typical... outwitted by my own cleverness.

It was a fine, clear day, so we spent it relaxing and enjoying each other’s company. I should have known something was up... she had that look of trouble in those emerald green eyes of hers; that gleam, a watchful amused stillness. She distracted me with that temptress smile of her's... And those legs... Oh, those legs... And that siren's body; not to mention her wicked tongue and sharp mind. It wasn’t till the day's end—when the sky was painted with dark purples, vivid pinks, crimson reds and vibrant oranges; after the last, brilliant rays of the battle-weary sun sank, defeated beneath the horizon—that she sprung her little trap.

“Oh, Serg?” She called out softly. She lays there, sprawled on her side on the blanket, her head propped up by her hand and elbow; a wicked smile blooming on her luscious lips.

“What?” I replied, half-distractedly as I re-laced my bootstraps.

“You do realize you aren’t going to get away with this mornings fiasco, don’t you?” She said in that soft, overly-sweet, satisfied and smug tone of hers.

My head snapped up instantly; giving her my full and undivided attention. I narrowed my eyes slightly, indicating my displeasure of the conversation topic. “What fiasco are you referring to, Red?” I asked, pleasantly, with a hint of menace in my voice, hoping that she would get the hint and drop it. But, no; she just laid there and began to slowly smile, like a demonic Cheshire cat.

“Oh, you know... The one where you went running off to kill demons, looking all shiny and glowy. How did you so truculently put it?” She then had the audacity to close her eyes and tilt her head up to the sky; no doubt, trying to make out that she needed the time to rumple through that twisted, devious mind of hers and hunt down the elusive memory. We both knew she had forgotten nothing. “Oh that’s it!” She said triumphantly, as she opened those beautiful jewel-coloured eyes of hers, and smiled with devilish amusement. “Looking gaudier than a painted, two-bit doxie during Fall Festival.”

I glared at her. My eyes narrowing further, flashing amethyst-coloured daggers of death in her direction. Here I was, doing the right thing, protecting the land and it's people from the constant onslaught of demonic attacks; and here she was, trying to take advantage of my good-nature, all because I had left her at the life monument. Oh yes... do not, for a second, think she was doing this because I had acted like a good Samaritan... Oh, no... She had been right there, beside me; slashing and slicing, backstabbing and dicing, looking even more like the proverbial, painted doxie than I. No, this was because I had had the good-fortune to have had a reset scroll on me. I left her, eating my dust, at a life monument, as I ran off and finished those darn demons on my own... And got the loot, to boot.

Still... I had been glowing brighter than a tinker's daughter, selling her wares under the light of a full moon... Seragil Shadowsong running around Dundee, like an enchanter's night light, was not something I wanted people to know about.

“No one would believe you, my sweet, pirate doxie, wharf rat.” I said with a wry smile, confident that my evaluation of the situation was correct. Let's face it: my distaste and rejection of blessings and enchantments were well known. The last enchanter who cast their stupid spells on me lost their hands... The last cleric that blessed me had a gaping hole in their side, to heal, for every foul glow they attached to my body and items. Nope; I was safe, in my belief, that denial was the only defense I'd need.

“I have witnesses.”

Oh, the sweet, smugness in her tone as she said that. Despicable. I lifted my head and looked at her. A quick death often stilled loose tongues...

“Notice that I said witnesses, Serg... as in, more than one...” She actually bat her eyes at me. To think, I had been laying gentle kisses on their lids but a few moments ago.

“What are the names of these, so called, witnesses?“ I asked, with a raised eyebrow, as I tried to look friendly and amicable. I knew it wouldn’t work... but I had to try, right? She just rolled over and laughed, her body gently vibrating with her mirth. “What do you want, Red?” I asked her again, with a flat-toned voice. She had me over a barrel and I knew it. I was not impressed. Damn rogue!

She smiled... I mean, really; talk about rubbing salt in the wound. She smiled and blinked at me, languidly; her whole body radiating smug satisfaction and amused glee. I couldn’t help but admire the beauty of it... and her... but then, that's her way, isn’t it? She’ll rob you blind and you just don’t care, not until she's long gone... Got to love her style.

“I don’t know, Serg... What's my silence worth to you?” She asked, her voice almost purring with contentment. I narrowed my eyes again and scowled.

“How much plat are you after?”

“Plat? ...Plat?” Her voice was thick with the sound of anger and contempt. “Do you think I can be bought so easily? Please... You have plat like a desert zombie has sand. No, I want something with a little more meaning, thank you.”

More meaning? My unlaced, booted foot slid out from under me and hit the ground with a soft, yet audible, thud. What exactly was this going to cost me? Some of my rare food items? Hmmmm... I could part with one or two of them, I thought. Or, maybe she wanted some of my tradable, working invasion ingots. I mean, lets face it: they may be pretty to look at, but unless one was going to trade them, or use them, they were kind of useless... I just kept them because you cold no longer get them. The Old Invasion Ingots one can get now don’t seem to work; to use these old tradable, workable ones for use in a brown just seemed... Well, wasteful, really. So they just sat there. So, yeah... I figured she could have one or two of those. I doubted she would want my collection of Ana Sacrata Toilet Paper. What was left? My rare, upgraded, moded weapons? My Candy Ball of Doom? My complete set of wooden child's armour? No, those items would have to be taken from the grasp of my cold dead corpse.

I, sure as Hades, wasn’t going to ask her what she wanted again... So, I just raised an imperious eyebrow and looked at her. She sat up, resting her weight on her elbows, as she crossed her leg over her knee and shook her ankle at me impatiently. The soft tinkling of her anklet filled the small clearing as she just sat and smiled expectantly at me; her hair billowing softly around her.

“What, then?” Can you blame me if I sounded querulous? Ok, so I gave in... Patience has never been my forte; more often than not, it's my downfall. Yeah, yeah... A man has to have some faults, right? Perfection just gets boring.

She just smiled and jangled that darn anklet a little harder. Trying not to get annoyed, I just smiled back. But that darn jingling was grating on my nerves and, unable to help myself, I narrowed my eyes and glared at her stupid anklet, hoping she’d get the hint. It is a horrid looking thing... Well, not really; it's quite pretty actually... It's gold and silver wire, twisted around her ankle and encased with rings.

Okay, so on very rare occasions, I can be slow as well.

“Rings? You want a ring?” I asked, with a hint of disdain. I mean, really... a ring? Her silence for a petty little bauble. It was contemptible and almost insulting.

She just smiled more and started to wiggle her toes, as well as jingle that anklet, at me. What... did she want a different one? Something unique? Well, she wasn’t getting my blessed ring, either... Besides, it had been recently taken, without my permission, by a certain sea-stinking, scurvy-ridden, lice-bitten, black-haired, brown-eyed, thick-fingered, ham-fisted rogue. Let's not talk about my ring; it makes me mad.

So, I looked harder at her anklet... And suddenly, it dawned on me. Her anklet was her love tokens. Every ring represented another stolen heart; someone's stolen broken heart. They were promise rings!

“You want a promise ring?” I asked incredulously. She raised both eyebrows and gave me a look. What can you get that's better then a promise ring?

My jaw almost hit the ground.

“Bonded?!” I squeaked. I tried again, ”you want to get bonded?!” Nope... Still squeaking. “You want me to Bond you?” I said slowly, uncertainly, disbelievingly... “You want to Bond me?” This was... She was just messing with me, right? “You, want us,” I pointed to her and then me, “to get bonded... To each other?”

Why was she laughing? I did not see the humour here... I mean, really... so not appropriate for the situation.

“Why?”

Her lips twitched and then she smiled. Her emerald eyes almost shimmering with amusement as they caught the last light of the evening. The sky was a soft purple-blue behind her; the first stars shimmered gently, as a soft wind ruffled her crimson hair around her. She shrugged, then sat up and crossed her arms over my legs. “Why not?” She looked up at me with all seriousness now, all amusement gone. “We will just be confirming what we have and feel for each other anyway...”

“I suppose,” I said hesitantly, still not one-hundred percent sold on the idea. Don’t get me wrong... I didn’t hate the idea, or even really oppose to it. We were, in fact, an excellent match for each other. We understood each other, respected one another, were confident with and how we felt about each other and trusted one another completely. I loved her and she loved me. But still... Bonding?

“And, just think how many people it would annoy!” She added, with an impish smile and a wickedly amused glint in her eyes.
Now that idea appealed to me; I couldn’t help but smile back at her.

“Okay, lets do it.”

She blinked at me; stunned, I think. Stunned at the fact that I agreed so quickly? Possibly, but then, as I said before, I didn’t hate the idea. Getting bonded just hadn’t occurred to me. Well, getting bonded again, that is. No... Red wasn’t my hearts first love, but I was older now and things were different. I was slightly different. And my first love was gone. No... Red wasn’t my first love, but she was my last. I would be content being bonded with her; happy, even joyful, and, not to mention, one lucky, damned rogue.

“Really?” She asked as she leaned back from me slightly, a look of uncertainty on her face.

“Well it's not like we have to get bonded immediately...” I flaming hoped not anyway; my nerves were a little jangled, to say the least.

“Too late!” I turned sharply, as this obnoxious voice shrilled out of the shadows, and out she stepped the second-highest ranked cleric in our guild. Don’t get me wrong; I am rather fond of this particular cleric, but right then, I could have scalped her... Again.

“What are you talking about?” I snarled at her... I knew what she meant, and she could flaming well keep her twitchy nose out of our business.

“I heard it all; you can’t get out of it now!”

The guild's gators hadn’t been fed lately... A sharp dagger, a quick flick of my wrist, and they could be munching on Cleric Tartar. “I can get out of anything I wish, Ceric!” I replied to her, scathingly. I mean, seriously... annoying, or what?

She raised her chin and sniffed at me. “I don’t think so, Seragil Shadowsong; you are, by far, too sneaky, slippery and deceitful. No, I think it's best to do it now.”

What did she mean, do it now? Do what now? The Bonding? Quick, someone stab her already!

She pulled herself up, trying to look all cleric-y, as she opened her enormous mouth.

“By the powers invested in me, by Ben The World-builder, I hereby announce you both Bonded forthwith!”

Red tried to stifle a giggle, but I was having none of it. I will get bonded in my own darn time and of my own choosing. The silly little cleric had just given me a great idea and the perfect out! HA!

“Ben Schmen,” I said with amused and self-righteous glee. “We Rogues have our own Goddess, now, and I won’t be bonded by anyone less.” Oh, I had her now.... but I didn’t want to seem like I was refusing; I wasn’t. I just didn’t want to get bonded right this second. So, I figured I could lay some helpful stipulations. “I’ll tell you what, little cleric,” I said with a smirk of amusement, “If you can get our new Goddess to bless Red's and my union... I’ll do it.” Ha! Like the Gods were ever going to bless my bonding! Oh, the Cleverness of Me!

The next instant, the night stilled... Like, totally went still and silent. Suddenly Red and I started to glow, to shimmer, to Radiate Gods Blessings... I mean, forget a gaudier little two-bit doxie; we glowed like the flaming moon!

Oh, how I hate the gods at times... This was so one of those times!

The cleric started clapping joyfully before falling to her knees and praying... ick

I just stood there, dumbfounded and in shock, before turning my face to the heavens and wailing, “But... But... I don’t wannaaa!!”

The next moment, Red jumped on me, knocking me to the ground, and kissed me.

“Mine!” She said fervently, her green eyes shimmering with love and laughter before kissing me again, deeply. Yeah, I really can’t complain. What can I say? I wrapped my arms around her and kissed her back.

So, yeah... I was hornswoggled into bonding Red by the Gods themselves. Talk about a match made in Heaven. And, for all my complaining and whining and side stepping, I really am as happy as a rogue in a kind treasure chamber.