Has it been so long? Three long years? Have I neglected this journal for so long?

Why? The heartache of what I have lost? Or is it the apathy that I have come to feel for my environs? Even now I sit in the blackness of a hidden cave in what was once a city of grass and now is nothing more than death and devastation.

My son has grown, hale and hearty. He strives to act as I do, lifting sticks from the ground and mimicking my movements. I practice still, as I would not wish my arms to grow heavy with the dread my heart feels.

I am a cleric. I am a follower of the Gods, and yet I doubt my faith. We see less and less of the Gods in Valorn. More and more we see the hand of the Demon Lord touching our places of safety. What little safety we have in war-time.

There are times where I feel as if I should lay down my weapons and stop the fight. However, my thoughts then stray to my son. Aquila must be safe. For him, and for all that he means to me, I will not lay down my weapons. I can not. Would that I could send him to his mother. Venus, I pray, is safe with Isolde. Gone to a place where the Black Lord does not reach. I can not send him away, and his eyes, how they shine as his mothers, remind me of this each and every day.

This is no land to raise a child, Venus and I knew of this, and yet neither of us was capable of denying this child life, as bleak as it appears. No. For this child, and the hope of all others, I will fight yet.

It seems my friend grow less and less. Falling in battle, leaving the battle and retiring their arms. Whatever the case, they dwindle quickly. It seems that those that pick up arms now are nothing more than glory seekers and con artists. I have met few that I would stand in battle with now. The old souls that stood with me in the Purification Ceremony seem to have gone. I have little faith in those that claim the right to fight now.

I would strive to teach them, yet few enough would show to these displays. Most of those who did were of the sort that I would have expected. Old friends who perhaps were simply humouring my attempts to educate in the ways of war. I am no teacher.

For so long, I have striven to be nothing more than a man. Just a man. Not a prince of Kimald nor a general. I have fought side by side by kings and beggars. Now it seems as if my battle is one that I fight by myself.

Are there none left who respect the life they have? Are there only those out for personal glory and gain? The days of the generous have passed. It is now the time of greed and gain. The value of the almighty coin has risen above that of honour. I will fight...even if I do so alone.

Gods...I know not whether you still watch over the mortals of Valorn, but I will still strive to do Justice by you all.

Hidden in the shadows, seeking the light,
Xanthias

Though I have known it for long enough, I feel that it is time that I acknowledge it to myself.

My Heart is gone. After Isolde was returned to her, and after having been back with me only a short time, she had decided that it would be safer for Isolde, and better for me, if she left.

I could not persuade her. Nothing I said would change her mind. I tried. By the Gods I tried. She then held forth the small bundle that was my...no...our son. She bid me to raise him well.

My son. With the pale hair that is both my blessing and my curse, and the deep forested green of his mother's eyes. I will always think of her when I look at him. Never will she be far from my mind. I have not decided upon a proper name for him yet...I fear that I wll do him an injustice by choosing his name when I am filled with grief.

I asked her to never forget me, no matter where her feet wandered. We were never bonded. We did not wish to be. We both considered it a ridiculous notion when so many were getting bonded, and a fortnight later were leaving each other. Our love was our bond, and we needed no rings, trinkets, or any other such material thing to acknowledge that.

Now I sit, having found one to care for my son, in the Throne Room at Caer Laleldan. I sit upon the bottom step of the raised platform and I stare up at the black throne. My thoughts wander. I have lost too much. I have lost my Heart...I have lost my King...

I stare up at the Throne and I wonder when a leader will return to us. It would seem that Deek has been lost to us. I pray that he return, or another take his place. Only the Gods will grant us that which we need. I pray that it happens soon enough.

Ethucan will need somebody with which to hold meetings and negotiations. High Cleric Elijah the Holy is standing in for our King, but while he does so what duties are going undone.

I would offer myself, having learned of the dealings of Kingdoms and Courts during my time as the Prince of Kimald, but this is not Kimald, and I am not a Prince any longer.

I fought, that day, to defend the Ceremony of Purification. I did what I could to hold the lines, defend the people, and keep our land free of Demons. Even the Black Lord made an appearance.

The Ceremony, and the Throne, were defended well. My Defenders...the Defenders, performed exceptionally, and I would not hesitate to stand next to any of them in battle again.

It was after the battle that Regent General Kratos appeared with a contingent of guards. He had activated the doorway from the Ethucan side and come through. He had received news of the demon attacks and sought to help. I greeted him in the manner befitting him and his people. With respect I bowed, closed fist planted firmly to my heart.

T'yandra then came forth and spoke with him briefly. An adventurer spoke up and informed the Regent General that a guard would be posted upon the Doorway. I pray that it is not needed.

The General Regent then made his way to Altitan, there to meet with the Rock Giants. Apparently they are ancient allies of Ethucan. I have no doubt that the General, having known this, was let into the great Gates of Altitan. Perhaps one day those from Valorn will be able to explore there too.

I have written enough...more than I had intended. It is with heavy heart that I set down my quill for now. I am happy that Ethucan has chosen to open communications again, but I am saddened at those things which I have lost.

In the Light of the Gods,
Xanthias

*The writing here is written in a precise, neat hand. It is carefully sanded and protected as if the writer wishes these words to be kept for an undetermined amount of time.*

The events during and after the finding of the Seals was something that I hope will not soon be forgotten by any.

I wish it were during this time that the Emissaries from Ethucan had come, so that they could have seen how firmly and nobly we Valornians stood together for the greater good. If they had come through the Doorway and seen that, then I have no doubt that they would have joined us in our battle against the Black Lord.

One such stands firmly amidst my mind. I believe it to be the finding of the Third Seal. I had rested within the Holy Order of Light's Library, intent on being close at hand when Elijah called for us.

It was when he came out of the back and spoke that sent a shudder through my spine. He stood before those gathered and said that T'yandra, Battle Medic and right hand to Elijah himself, had been injured upon obtaining the scroll that would allow us to obtain the Third Seal. He told us that she had been set upon by demons on the plains near Dundee. I quickly donned my Great Helm and called forth the Ultimate Weapon of Salvation. I was hoping upon that the weapon would bear true to it's name.

I ran as fast as my feet would carry me, used to the armour that I bore upon my person. I had left slightly before the others, hurrying to ensure the safety of T'yandra. I took the bridge north just west of the ferry so as to quickly reach the plains. I was heading east towards the plains and nearly ran right by T'yandra. As soon as I arrived however those that followed behind me swarmed into the area.

T'yandra had been wounded. Though it was unsure at first whether or not it was a mortal wound I attempted to use my inate healing abilities in order to heal her. Though she had been healed to the best of my ability the wound refused to close and bled freely. She then asked for two to support and carry her back to the Library so that she may tell Elijah of the deeds.

I volunteered, as did many. Because of this I stepped back. I did not wish to jumble the proceedings nor did I want to harm T'yandra due to a misunderstanding. Korrith, noble Brother, and Fondour, mighty Warrior, both helped her to her feet and supported her. It was then an Enchanter opened a portal to the north side of Milltown. I thought perhaps that it would be dangerous to bring one drastically injured through such an unstable portal, but Korrith and Fondour had more faith than I. I simply did not wish T'yandra to fall before her message could be delivered, and who knows what the unstable energies of the portals could or would do to her. Not to mention I thought it a waste, as we were closer to the Library where we stood...

None-the-less we all stepped through the swirling blue mass. When we arrived I stepped up next to Korrith and Fondour to inspect the wound more closely. T'yandra held a matted and blood soacked cloth the wound. I knew this was doing no good and so dug within my pack to find something suitable. I was only able to find one of my blue silk shirts but thought little of it, as I could always buy more. I removed it, bundled it into a manageable bandage, and then placed it upon the wound. I held it there while we walked.

We walked as quickly as we dared through the streets of Milltown. Many of the passers-by simply gawked at us, wondering what the crowd of adventurers was all about. It wasn't until they saw T'yandra, face pale and near lifeless, that they fully understood. Many dropped to their knees praying to the Gods. Thankfully they did this out of the way of the procession of adventurers.

We eventually got her to the Library. There she attempted to tell Elijah of what had happened, but upon seeing her wound the High Cleric would hear of nothing until she was properly healed. He then layed his hands upon her and closed his eyes, judging the wound. The look upon his face was what scared me more than anything else that day. I had went with T'yandra, Korrith, and Fondour, up to where the two had lain her. I was there on hand should I be needed, and sadly, I was. As I have said, the look on Elijah's face was horrifying. It was a mixture of pain, loss, and futility. I understood that look...I hadn't seen it since leaving Kimald, but I knew it.

I was not quick enough to stop him, and I do not think I could have done so anyhow. Elijah gave his life for T'yandra. He used all of his own energies to stop the bleeding and heal the wound. I was already moving towards him and so caught him when he fell. I gently lowered him to the ground, holding his head and shoulders in my lap. I could tell just by feeling his body that he was gone to us. T'yandra knew, also, what had happened the moment that it was done. She rose quickly and moved over Elijah's body, weeping. I removed my cloak then, and folding it, set it upon the floor. I then gently rested Elijah's head upon it and moved back, so as to let T'yandra be with the High Cleric.

After a short time she spoke to those gathered. She told us all that demons had attacked her and stolen the scroll. She mentioned seeing them tear the scroll and each of them taking a piece. She bid the adventurers to go after the demons. I could not do so...

I opted to stay with T'yandra and Elijah, lest they be set upon by demons in order to stop us from finding the other two seals. There were a select few who also decided to do this. I thanked the Gods that there were those that were selfless enough to watch for those who could not then watch over themselves.

Slowly and surely adventurers returned. Some had gathered the needed tatters of the scroll. When the last tatter of the scroll was brought to her T'yandra stood and directed us all in a prayer and chant. We formed a circle and prayed to the Gods. It was the Goddess Carol who heeded our call. She directed T'yandra in what to do and a slow mist crept among The Gathered.

The Scroll itself shone with a fierce light and when it diminished T'yandra held forth the Seal. The Goddess Carol granted us a Blessing of the Gods and then turned her gaze to the form of Elijah. With her life-granting powers Elijah drew breath once more. Myself and T'yandra rushed to Elijah's side, though I felt awkward at having done so I could take back what was done.

Though weak, he placed the Seal in it's rightful place and turned to The Gathered. He bade us all to go forth and grow stronger, for the other Seals would need us all to be at our best. With that T'yandra escorted him further into the depths of the Holy Order of Light so that he could rest.

Remember this well, any who may come across these words, whether in the present or the future. Valornians will stand together, and when we are called forth to do so again, we will heed the call. The Black Lord beware.

I have taken a strange liking to this Ethucanian wine. The last time I had wine was when my father and brother still lived.

Six summers ago.

But back to the wine. It is a sort of bitttersweet concoction the likes of which I had forgotten. I then wandered into the Taste of Ethucan on the small Island of Kilican.

I bought up the wine, wondering if perhaps it were of the same quality he had been used to. The first drink nearly made me cough. It was good, but I was so unused to having it that it was strange.

Well, I hope that something more eventful happens between now and the next time I write, as wine is hardly something worth writing extensively about.

Much has happened.

I wear the Midnight purple of The Hidden. A guild which I find is more home to me than any before.

The guilds before were well and nice, but I think they were but stepping stones to my true calling. I am a Herald. As such I have the responsibility with which I have sought, and the freedom with which I never had save for when I was unguilded.

Many things have happened. Things that I will choose not to list here.

The thing that I will name here is the thing that has hit me the hardest of everything. I have lost my Heart. I know not where she has gone, and I have not had word from her, or anybody with whom she normally speaks.

I am beginning to wonder if turnabout is fairplay. She has taken herself, and dear Isolde, from my presence. It weighs heavily upon mine heart, and for that I will not move on.

Whether she chooses to return to me, wherever she has gone, or remain in the place which she currently dwells, she will be remembered by me, if only because she does hold not a piece, not a portion, but the whole of my heart.

Venus Darkmoon, wherever you may be my heart, prayers, and thoughts are with you.

(----*----)

I have obtained my Ultimate Weapon of the Golden Age.

I went into a meditation to consult my soul as to which form my Ultimate Weapon should take.

After much deliberation I chose the Way of Salvation. A simple choice, and one much supported by those close to me. I am happy in my choice, and I will live and use it as needed. There are other options, should I choose them later upon need.

That is all for now. I will ensure that I write more here soon.

It has been....an age since I last put pen to paper.

So much has happened in so short a time. I have oft wondered as to whether I should continue to write here in this journal.

As things stand now, I think that I should simply wait a bit longer. I will tell of my life and my wanderings once again soon.

By the Gods...

I have returned to the land of Valorn at long last. My trip...it took
so long. I must recount it, so that when my Heart reads it, she will
know that I did not leave her for unjust reasons. My heart ached while
I was away from her, and continued to do so the entire length of my
perilous journey.

It started on the Beach that is as black as Midnight. I travelled
there, down from the plank city of Caernivale. The magically embued
rope that would allow one to effortlessly climb to or fro from the
black sands.

I set foot down upon the obsidian coloured sands and decided to head
east. I needed to find something very specific, and rumour had it that
I could find many of them along this stretch of beach. I was in search
of a deckhand, and it had to be quickly. I needed to set sail as soon
as I could. I had to make sure that the pirates wouldn't turn on me
either.

When I had managed to find one, he attacked me without my ever getting
a word off. I purposely hadn't drawn my sword, for fear I would have
provoked an attack, and as such, he had caught me unawares by that
much. Thankfully the strong claws that were built into my gauntlets
were enough for me to deflect the curved blade. I caught the blade and
with a deft twist of the wrist I disarmed him.

I believe he would have attacked me barehanded, had I not had the
razor sharp claws at my disposal. He hesitated, and that was long
enough for me to speak.

"Halt. I only wish to talk to you, not kill you, but if I must..." I
brandishes the claws menacingly.

He nodded, eyes upon the claws, and then stood stiffly, waiting to see
if I would go against my word anyhow.

"I must speak with your Captain. She may not have a full fledged ship,
but I need one sea-worthy enough to sail three days at top-speed."

The deckhand laughed. "She woul' kill ye fas'er than ye coul' blink, matey."

I shook my head. "Not when I promise her as much platinum as I
have...for only one passenger." I hooked a thumb around the pouch at
my belt. It was full of platinum pieces. I watched as the deckhands
eyes lit up and he involuntarily took a step forward. I had to extend
my other hand to prevent him from moving further towards me.

He nodded then, slowly, and we walked off down the beach, when his
fellows came to the attack he told them off. Eventually I was led to
the remains of a ship, practically being escorted by this large group
of pirates.

They all stopped and urged me forward into the wrecked hull.

"Don' worry mate...yer death won' be long in da comin'."

I shrugged half-heartedly and stepped inside. There, lit perfectly by
the moonlight, was a Pirate Captain, sure enough. Gilded in plundered
loot she watched me.

"What 'ave ye come 'ere for?" she asked in a tone that said she would
brook no nonsense.

"I seek passage on a sea-worthy vessel. I have the money to easily
cover the cost." I held up the pouch once more. "I'll give you half of
it now, half when I return here safely. Should I die before hand, the
other half will be yours anyhow." I looked her in the eyes. "Either
way, you will profit greatly, and all that you need to do, is take me
to a land three days sail from here."

"Three days sail? Ye'r not the brightes' one abou' are ye? I coul'
kill ye' and take the money, if I so wished."

With a shrug I put the money back in an inside pocket of my tunic.
"Very well, then you will receive none of my money, and an early
death."

She eyed me then, for a moment. "Ye'r awfully sure of ye'rself. I like
tha' in a man. Very well. We'll take ye ter this land ye so seek."

I smiled slightly. "Good. Here is your money." I tossed her the pouch,
which I had already presorted. "We leave immediately."

She nodded and then signalled to the man standing in the 'entry' of
the ship. "Get 'em ready ter sail!"

< - - - - * - - - - >

It has been two days upon the ocean. We are nearing my homeland, the
land of Kimald. I do not know that I should be back here, as I do not
know whether or not Balthazar's forces remain, or whether he has left
some dark shadow over my homeland. Either way, I must get to the Tomb
of Kings.

The Tomb of Kings...how...inaptly named, for there were more than
Kings in those halls of the dead. There were buried Queens, Princes,
all manner of the Royal Family. I would travel there, to the tombs of
my parents, and my brother. It would be the way it had been done for
centuries, before Balthazar attacked.

"I will avengeyou my Father...and my brother." he whispered as he
thoughts dwelt ever-more on th upcoming struggle he knew he would
face.

< - - - - * - - - - >

I was asleep when I felt the slight pull of the ship straining against
its anchor.

"Cleric! Ye'r landlegs migh' no be good fer the deck, but i's time fer
ye to get ter shore."

I stood and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. So...we had weighed anchor
and I was to paddled the rest of the way to shore? Strange people,
these pirates, but then, I did not live amongst them, and I did not
know their ways.

I lifted my gear, positioning it so that it wouldn't chaffe and so
that it would be the least amount of burden to me. "Yes, I am on my
way."

I ascended the small set of stairs into the fading dusk and looked
toward Kimald.

My first look upon it since I ran from this place many years ago. It
looked peaceful enough, but I knew that the City of Kimald was further
inland, and that this jungle was hiding the true horrors of what lay
ahead.

I stepped into the small paddle-boat and waited as they lowered me
down to the glassy surface of the water. I took the oars and started
to row. Not vigourously, for I knew I would need the energy, but
steadily.

I estimated it to be roughly half a marc, and I hit the sandy shore. I
hopped from the boat and waded the few feet to the shore. Turning to
look at the ship I remembered what I had told its Captain. I only
prayed she would hold to her word.

== # ==

"Now Captain, I will return to the ship in no more than twenty-four
marcs. If I should not return within that alloted time, consider me
dead, and the rest of the money will be yours. Upon my death, you will
find a note hidden in my quarters. I hid it well, and it will take you
at least twenty-four marcs to find it, if you looked as soon as I left
the ship."

"Have no worries Cleric. We'll no leave ye. I agreed to do this fer
ye, and I'll 'old to me word."

"Very well Captain. Thank you."

== # ==

Looking ahead I wondered whether or not I would make it back in my
alloted twenty-four marcs. This thought filled my mind as I started
down the shattered cobblestone road that had once been the easiest
path from the now dillapidated port to the merchant wing of the city.
Only time would tell, and right now, time was all that I had.

< - - - - * - - - - >

I arrived in the city at roughly midnight. Even now the stonework of
Kimald shone bright enough through mage and cleric light imbued into
the stone, that I could find my way with minimum difficulty. The
palace loomed to the west of me, and even after its destruction, much
of the massive structure stood, as if the beasts and demons tearing
down its walls had grown bored with the tediousness of it all.

The city was quiet, as I had expected it would be. I could see remains
of people, friends and family, but I could not stop to mourn them.
Though I could sense nothing of evil around me I was still wary about
this place of death.

It was a long trek to the palace, and though my wariness payed off and
I encountered nothing, my luck would soon change.

I once more gazed upon the palace, this time remembering it in its
time of glory, not in its current state. I remember standing there as
my younger brother had been crowned Prince, where it should have been
me. I thank the Gods now that it was not me, or I would not have been
alive to do what I was about to do.

I started my lengthy strides up the steps and stopped when I heard a
stone clatter. The entire time I had been in the city it had been
nothing but the quietness of death and the scuffing of my boots upon
the stone.

This sound was not made by me however, and I new it instantly. The
darkness here was deeper than it had been elsewhere in the city, but I
had not really gauged it to be a problem. As I stood however, another
stone clattered, this one from behind me. My fear came to the fore of
my mind and I instantly drew forth my blade.

This seemed to be a sign that I would not stand quietly by and be
attacked, and perhaps a foolish one for me, for the moment the singing
of the blade from the sheath had ended they sprang.

I cannot say what they were exactly, as I had not encountered them
amongst the creatures of Valorn. Perhaps they were a new plague that
Balthazar was simply testing here in Kimald before moving them on to
slaughter those of Valorn.

They were...ugly. Their skin appeared wet and oily and yet on the
occassions that I brushed up against them it was dry as the desert
sands. They moved on four legs, yet their movements were sporatic, and
their legs spindly. The joints extending above their torsos as if they
were huge insects.

They attacked in no less than pairs, and sometimes upwards of half a
dozen. As they attacked their strange, noxious green, eyes watched me
as if they were intelligent enough to calculate the moves I might
make. As I would go to dodge I would be attacked by yet another. Their
claws were vicious and serrated like a blade that had been beaten
against another too many times.

I had to quickly learn how it was that I would be able to slay these
beasts, for they stood between me and the palace entrance. Their
movements, as I said before, were sporatic, yet rhythmical. I
listened, even as they attacked me. It seemed as if they were moving
to set of clicks, emitted from deep within their throats. Those that
attacked did so on a strange, louder, higher pitched click. Perhaps if
I could somehow throw off these attacks I would be able to defeat the
beasts.

As I continued to listen I heard a rythm in these clicks, signalling
the attacks, on the next set I kicked a stone against the step,
creating a click of my own. One of the beasts faltered in its attack
and left it fellow to attack me alone. I whirled and took its head
head from its shoulders.

This seemed to anger the small beasts, as they bounced about uttering
strange noises that I perceived as anger. I couldn't let them hinder
me anymore though, for the matter at hand was more important than
these beasts.

I noticed that my equipment glowed lightly with its magical light and
as such they stayed away from the pool of dim light that I emitted.
Thinking that perhaps I would have a chance to rid myself of the
beasts long enough to get into the palace I held my fist high and
concentrated my thoughts on my holy ring. My only thought was to imbue
it with the brilliant light of the God Cory, and within moments my
ring flared brilliantly, blinding the beasts and sending them
scattering into the debris.

I wasted no time to think, or to marvel, and ran straight up the rest
of the steps into the palace. I didn't stop running, I had to reach my
destination before the creatures reached me.

< - - - - * - - - - >

I arrived at the hidden entrance to the Tomb of Kings, relatively
unbothered by the beasts that I had been attacked by earlier. By sheer
luck, or perhaps through will of the Gods, it had been unbothered, and
I wished it to remain that way, aside from my presence.

I muttered the words that would allow me entrance and then stepped
onto the lift that would allow me to descend into the Tombs.

Once at the bottom I started my trek into the deepest section of the
tomb, for that was where the newest bodies would be find. Even though
I knew that I would not be able to see the bodies of my brother, or my
father. Their spirits would be here though, of that I was certain.

< - - - - * - - - - >

"Brother..." the word was soft, and filled with emotion that I had not
allowed myself to show for so long. "...Please forgive my weakness in
fleeing from this place...I know what it has managed to do to me, and
what I have become. I have fought, for so long have I fought, to
avenge you and father." I lay a hand on the stone sarcophogus that
would have held my brother. It was enough though that it had been
carved in his likeness.

"Forgive me brother..." I said once more, thinking of nothing to say,
but praying inwardly to the Gods that he would find peace. I could no
longer remain here, my time was growing shorter, and I had yet to face
my parents, and inform them of why I had come in the first place.

< - - - - * - - - - >

I stepped into the chamber that held the places of rest for my
parents. My mother, whom I had visited here before, and my father, the
likes of which would never have his physical body to rest here.

I knelt in front of the two sarcophogi.

"Mother...Father...I pray that you both are well, and that when you
look and see the corruption of the Black Lord upon this land that you
also see those who oppose him. I am one such, and since the day that
Kimald fell I have been striving to exact my revenge for the deaths of
you, Father, and of my brother." Tears slowly slid down my cheeks,
leaving trails in the dust and grime that had built up.

"We strive to rid the world of his evil, and all things that he has
created will come to an end. Perhaps not in my lifetime, but very
possibly in the next." I smiled then for the sad part of my business
was past. Only a mere couple of sentences.

"That is not why I have braved the perils to return and see you. No,
my reasoning is very different. I have a son now, my parents. His
mother has taken him to travel the world, but we both thought it best.
I also have one that I one day hope to call a daughter, of sorts. Yes,
this also means that I have fallen in love. Though the woman bearing
my son, and this woman are not the same."

I stood slowly and looked at the stone faces of my parents. "I have
come to request that you bless myself and the woman that I have come
to love. I have also come so that you may know that your son, once
weak and knowledgable in the areas of scholars, is now strong, and
still knowledgable."

"I have fought for a long while, and will fight still for many
reasons. Not the least of which is the woman I love. Her name,
Father..." I paused here a moment, as if my parents really were in the
room. "...Mother, is Venus Darkmoon. She is of humble origins and what
you would call low birth."

I smiled at this, as if my father had been alive he probably would
have had a failing of the heart. "Yes Father, she is, and I love her,
for no Noblewoman could ever have a heart as noble, courageous, and
loving, as that of my Venus. She reminds me so much of the tales you
would tell me about Mother. Head-strong, committed, and always able to
do the things she sets her mind to."

I smiled again at the thought of you, My Heart. I would return to you
soon, and if I had anything to say about it I would not be leaving you
again. It was then with those thoughts playing about my mind and soul
that the light enveloped me.

I closed my eyes against the blinding light and when I opened them I
stood amongst the Garden that my Father had frequented, saying that it
was the place my Mother loved the most.

There before me stood the two of them. My eyes watered with joy as I
had never truly laid eyes upon my mother. They were both smiling, and
as I ran to embrace them both they whispered into my ears. There words
matched what the other said exactly.

"Our son...we have been watching you, and we have been very proud of
the man you have become. Your choices have not always been the best
ones you could have made. We do not fault you those, but we do wish
you would have chosen better." They embraced him in turn and then
kissed each cheek. "Now go Our Son. Continue to make us proud, and
take our blessing to the woman you love." With that the light once
more shone brightly and I found myself staring at the stone faces of
the sarcophogi once more.

My eyes watered with joy, and with sadness. I knew then that my
parents had finally accepted me for the person I was. My Father was no
longer disappointed that I was not the man he wanted me to be. For
that I was eternally grateful.

With their blessing in my heart, and my time running out, I turned and I ran.

< - - - - * - - - - >

I had run all the way to the port and rowed as if Balthazar himself
had been chasing me. Once safely on the boat I retired to my cabin,
which had been undisturbed, surprising me only a moment. The Captain
had seen me, and had told the crew of the ship to start getting ready
to sail immediately. Apparently they hadn't liked weighing anchor for
so long so close to this spot. Though they did not know what had
happened to Kimald, they could feel the evil.

We sped off sailing through the night in order for them to feel safe.
I know of this only because when I finally awoke from my exhausted
slumber we were approaching the mouth of the bay that led to Midnight
Beach. I handed over the remainder of the money that I had promised
the Captain and said in no polite words that next we met, enemies we
would be. She nodded and accepted the coins with a grin.

< - - - - * - - - - >

That, My Heart, is the tale of why I had so suddenly disappeared. I am
not proud that I did not tell you, and I feel horrible about the fact
that had I perished on Kimald you would never have known what happened
to me. I pray that your eyes recover so that you may read this and
understand.

With all of my Love,
Always and Forever,
~Xanthias~

I thought I had seen many things in my time as a Cleric, and in truth I believe I have. I have seen loss of limb, I have seen wounds that would easily fell most men, and I have seen men, and women, live through wounds like that. All of these things were always impersonal. I have rarely had to deal with seeing somebody close to me seriously injured or impaired.

Up until the eve of yesterday. I was waiting in the Holy Order of the Light's Training Area, thinking to train some of the younger ones of our order. I was leaning upon a quarterstaff, watching some of the younger of the Order train. It was then that I heard a tapping, as would come from wood upon stone. I thought perhaps one of the young ones had simply grown bored with training and was moping about, so I cast my eyes about the room, searching...

When I saw the familiar fall of burnt amber that designated the one I had come to love. She was using a stout branch cut from a tree, not much larger than the quarterstaff which I held in my right fist. I knew of what she was doing from having treated the blind in the past.

I had not spoken to a soul since my return from being initiaited into the Holy Order, and as such had not heard of anything befalling her. I thought it at first to be a joke. Keeping that in mind I put the end of my quarterstaff against the wall in front of her. She bumped up against it, her midsection connecting with its length lightly.

She spoke, and at first it did not register. The heavy cloth over her eyes shocked me. It hid the pefection that I had always found there. It hid the beauty of those deep pools. I was shocked, and it took me a matter of moments to react to her words.

I drew her close to me and spoke. I asked her how it had happened and when. For the life of her she couldn't answer me. That, above all else, surprised me more than the fact that she couldn't see. My Venus had never been one to be careless. Not intentionally. She was almost always aware of her surroundings. For her to be struck blind by something...

My first thoughts rested on the Black Lord himself. Perhaps he had attacked her. Sought her out for some reason that only he himself knew...

I asked her if I could remove the cloth from her eyes. She slowly nodded her permission. I slowly withdrew the folded cloth covering and flinched as she winced. Light sensitivity. Well, that meant that she wasn't completely blind, which I had dreaded.

I had always thought her self-esteem could use a slight boost, and having to be permanently blind...I do not want to think of what thoughts may have gone through her mind at that. As it was, this would heal, most likely, over time. I do not yet know if will leave any sort of permanent damage, but only the Gods know what the future holds.

When I asked her if any had attempted to heal it she merely nodded. I look into her eyes. Eyes that could not focus upon me, that could only register where I was because they took cue from her ears and touch. I looked into them and they seemed nearly lifeless. That scared me. What if I could never see the brilliant soul that resided behind those eyes again?

She then asked me to heal her, or attempt to. She informed me that any help I could give would be better than the pain. She then confessed to me that she had been using one of her herbal concoctions, and I cannot, for the life of me, remember what. I was too worried over her sight to register it. I nodded numbly, ensuring her that I would help in any way that I could, and I am grateful that she already knew that.

I placed my hands upon either side of her head and delved her. I needed to see what was wrong with her eyes. As I did so I was inwardly shocked. Whatever had done this was something I have yet to encounter, except for this once. In light of this I was cautious at first. Sending but a trickle of my energies into her. I did not want to hurt her, only to help her.

She, my Venus, cried out as if I had personally stricken her. It pained me to hear it, but my duty as a Cleric over-rode that pain. She needed my help, and I was honourbound to give it to her. I sent a little more power into her, and her back arched as though once more she were in that place where she had earned her "stripes". This too pained me, but her small hands, clenched tightly around my wrist, forced me to continue with the healing.

I knew what I had to do, but I was hesitant, I didn't -want- to do it, but I knew that inevitably I would have to. So I bolstered myself and unleashed my full power into her body. At first she stood strong, what seemed like nearly a marc was but a matter of seconds. She nearly buckled forward and I was forced to hold her up by placing my hand against her abdomen and pushing her back into the chair. The healing energies poured forth, filling her and brimming over, causing a "clerical spillover". The energy practically seeped from her pores, and she couldn't take the healing.

Within a mere matter of moments the energy flowing through her, the pain generated by the attempt of healing the unknown was too much. She collapsed into my arms and I immediately cut off the flow of energies.

I had started dipping into the reserves of my life force in order to heal her and it had taken it's toll on my own body, but despite this I cradled her in my arms. I had long ago forgotten of the students in the room with us. They now stood around, looking in awe at what had transpired.

Though I am not of a particularly high level, the immense power I had shown dazzled them. I would not be surprised if they returned to take up the path of the Cleric.

It was just towards the end of the Healing attempt that the Holy Warrior Doyle stepped into the training area. There was another, who I think is destined for the path of Enchanter. She touched myself and Venus, and was surprised, and frightened even, when a small amount of power left her and sped through her fingers to our bodies.

Though exhausted, I stood, still cradling Venus in my arms. I was going to walk to the Milltown in, which was nearby, but I was too exhausted. Instead, I moved to a cot in the corner of the room, meant for those who were injured. I lay Venus down upon it and took up a vigil. I sat, back to a column watching the cot. I do not know the marc it was that I finally dropped into a fitful slumber thinking that I had perhaps failed in my profession. When I awoke the next day, Venus still lay upon the cot. I figured that if anywhere were safe for her, it would be here. So I left quietly. I talked to a couple of Clerics and asked them to watch over her. I know she will chastise me for coddling her later, as is her way, but that is a chastising I will take deservingly.

She is my Heart, the source of my life, and for that, I cannot let her stop beating. It is said that love is blind, and where I may agree on some levels, I think perhaps this is taking it too literally.

Heart, I pray that one day you will be able to read this with your own eyes. Those splendid eyes which I have grown to look forward to waking to. Heal for me, but more importantly, heal for you.

With Love,
Xanthias

I have finally reached the thirty-second level of training. It was long, and arduous, but well worth the wait. I was allowed to use more arm after training with the trainers of Valorn. They taught me more techniques than I had previously known. More foot techniques, as well as a strengthening of the wrist and arm for more deft movements.

I learned how to fight in confined spaces, as I would soon be hunting in the ant hills. They taught me unique footing for such terrain, such as using the ants' own well built walls against them.

I have taken their teachings to heart and learned them quickly, for failure to do so would surely result in my death. I am happy though, that I was finally able to appease them and have them tell me that I was ready to advance to the next level of training.

Now I shall wait. I need a rest after training straight through the night. Venus still sleeps soundly in our bed. I think I will join her.

~Xanthias~

So...there are those who believe that Venus and myself should join the fad and wed.

I do not think I am ready. I would commit my soul to her, and protect her with my very life, even against the Gods, but we both of us, have pasts that we must deal with, both seperately, and and together.

Would I wed her? In the smallest fraction of a heartbeat. The vaguest splinter of a breath. Yes.

Though I was once a prince, and now, under technicality of law, king, I have no land. I wish no claim to it even if it did exist. I have moved on from the Remnants of Kimald. Though I will never forget my heritage, or my home, I have chosen a new home.

Valorn.

In Valorn I am only a man. I have purposely stationed myself beneath a man, a King. A King who deserves his title much more than I ever did.

Besides, love knows no boundaries. It is not aware of the quality of the cloth we wear. It conquers silk and coarse-weave alike. It does not discriminate against the tone of our skin, the colour of our hair.

Venus, I fear, holds a fear within her mind that were we to wed, then she would be elevated through the classes. Nay. I would not ask that of anybody, let alone her. To her I want only one thing.

To be -JUST- a man.

This feeling. Dread? No. That simply cannot be. I have only felt dread once, and it was different than this. Only once, when I lost my family.

What was that feeling? I think I know...it was the feeling of wrong. Think me crazy if you will, but that is what it was. The feeling of wrong.

I had heard stories of Savannah, offhanded comments, but never had I listened to the thing in full detail.

I watched as pale skin became stainless. No colour infused her body. It seemed as if she had simply stopped living for that heartbeat of a moment.

I speak of Venus.

It was strange, in every sense of the word that I can imagine. I was talking with Korrith, when, in his usual manner, the town crier did what he does best, and informed us of a new adventurer stepping into our world.

I listened, but the name held no portent to me. Thus I let it go on as I do many of the cries of the town crier.

It wasn't until Asyria and Venus told me the full extent of what was happening at the time that I was even remotely aware.

I listenend intently, and made sure that all was well. It simply wouldn't have been well if Savannah had walked into the Inn with Venus, Isolde, Asyria and Ajah all there. I didn't know much, but I knew enough. Enough that I knew I would dig up my old title again. I would be protector once more. This time though...this time I had a reason. I had somebody that I wasn't afraid the die for.

~~The page is dotted with a wet splatter resembling that of a fallen tear. There is but that one.~~

How long has it been since I could cry anything more than a single tear? I cannot seem to remember. Ever since the downfall of Kimald? No...it would have to be sooner than that. I killed my mother...NO! My father simply told me that. I know the truth now. She died...giving birth to me, but I did not kill her!

It has been a long time at any rate. I have not yet lost that habit. I wish I could, and I daresay that one day, in the arms of Venus I will. Who is to say.

I have found my reason for living. Too, I have found it for dying. I once told a man that he woud have to know the time to lay down his weapon for the right cause. If I could buy the life of Venus with my own, then I will have found the reason to lay my sword down. Indeed, I would take a blade before I ever let it touch her.

She knows the meaning of the word pain. As much as I, if not more. She understands what it is like...in ways that I cannot write here, she knows. I have wished for nothing more than to take those pains from her shoulders, to show her that there are those who care for her. Not the body of the woman, but the woman. I have showed her that...at least partially.

We have shared many things. Things that I will not mention here. One of those things is battle. We will continue to share battle, for Balthazar will not, can not, bring us down. As adventurers we unite, and when we unite, not only myself and Venus, but the whole of us, then we will lay waste to Balthazar's minions.

Eventually, we will come to a point where we shall stand, all of us, before Balthazar. He will not stand before us. His reign as Black Lord will come to an end. Until that day comes however, we will fight. We will fight, and we will win.

The magma fissue is taking up to much of my time, yet the trainers all tell me that I am not yet ready for the thirty-second level of training. I continue on, training night and day, forging my way through the darkness. I am no hero, and I do not presume to be, but there are those out there who are, and it is they that inspire me to continue my training.

It is tough when I do not have a shoulder to return to. Venus trains on her own, and as such, I may only spend time with her when we return to the inn together. I have been accused of becoming an "Inn Zombie" due to her, and I say that it is only half true. Yes, I spend more time in the inns around Valorn than I used to, but it is much better than the fanatical training that I had been doing.

Venus has opened my eyes to many things, including that of my son, Elysian. I have moved in with Danica, taking her spare room in order that I be close to Elysian...it hurts me to be there, because I can see the pain in Danica's eyes everytime I arrive at the door. I still do not enter without knocking, because I feel it is an invasion to her privacy, and that of Elysian's as well. He is my own son, and his mother, whom I love but cannot be with, holds me in spite.

I am not saying that what she feels towards me is not well deserved, as it is. What I am saying is that she extended to me an invitation to live with her, and with our child, so that he would have the proper taste of fatherhood. I have agreed, though she seemed to have thought that I had changed my mind.

My word is my bond. It is all I have left in a world where everything else was taken from me. I abide by said word, and live by it. I told Danica that I loved her, and I still do. I cannot be with her, because, sadly, she is a reminder of something I had and then lost. She was not a byproduct, she was another point in my llife, a point that I do not regret. I regret only that she had to be pained by my foolishness and immaturity. Yes, I have admitted that what I did was rash, and that I leapt before I knew where my feet would land.

Danica...if you see this when I am gone I wish you to know that I am truly sorry that I could not be what it was you wanted me to be, but if you will still allow, I will be as true a father to Elysian as I can. I didn't have a father who cared for me until it was too late...I do not wish to make the same mistake with my own child. I will try and give him my virtues, and breed out my faults. I wish him to be a better man than I am, or will be.

I do however, have a new responsibility on top of Elysian. I also have become a somewhat surrogate father to Isolde. A son, and a would be daughter. Too much for any man, and yet I enjoy it. To see either of their smiling faces brings me more joy than any I have known in my brief life as yet. Even over the joy of winning the heart of my beautiful Venus.

Children are our future, but more than that, they are our present, our now. We condition them today in order to make them into what they will be tomorrow. We live in the now, and yes, die in the now. When I go, I want nothing more than to be remembered in a good light. I know that my mistakes will haunt me the rest of my life, and as such, I must face them. I will not run from those things for which I am responsible. Not now, not ever.

I am no coward. I am brave, and I know a great deal of common sense. This does not make me stupid. I know when to run and I know when to stand and fight. Just because one retreats does not make them a coward. Only fools stand and fight when they have no chance to survive. Though there are exceptions to every rule.

I am not ready to set my sword upon the hearth. I am not ready to retire my armour. I am not ready to remove the ring from my finger and give up the Holy Order. I will never be ready to do these things. Until I am no longer able to hold a sword in my clenched fist, whether it be in death, old age, or handicap, I will continue to wield my blade with conviction. Until my body breaks down and can no longer support my own weight, I will don armour and dance the dance with death. Until I stand before the Mighty Cory, and he asks me whether I should choose to live again and I say that I have grown weary I will never part this Holy Ring from my finger.

No. I will fight, I will win, and there is no single soul, living or dead, that will stop me from doing so.

The Gods be praised, hail Ben, hail Cory. Your might and Your light envelope me, and help me to continue in the hardships of life, and to overcome.

I am still in these forsaken Fire Caverns. Thought these past recent marcs have been...well...better. My life seems to have taken a turn for the better. Thought my pilgrimage is coming to its end, I have found yet a new beginning.

There has been much happening in my life, and the beutiful Venus Darkmoon has played a large portion in this. She has finally given me a portion of her heart, and I intend to make sure that the portion she has given me remains safe and out of harm.

I have taken on the responsibility of being surrogate father for Isolde. I intend to be a full father to Elysian...but it seems that Danica has taken a slight interest in the Minstrel Warrior by the name of Steel Thunder. I pray that something truly does become of it, as it would do Danica well to have somebody, other than myself.

On this note, I stop writing. I have obtained the affection of Venus, and I cherish that affection. It means quite an amount to me, and I intend on having it stay that way.

~Xanthias~

The pages here seem to be stained by blood, and what appears to be ash.

I have spent many marcs here in the abysmal fire caverns, hunting things that seem to be made of pure flame. Not covered in it, but made of it. I miss the Overworld. I miss Venus and Isolde, I miss Danica and Elysian. So much that I took for granted.

I have been injured many times, and always I am quick to heal myself. Though I have now lost the use of one of my eyes, due to the fact that one of these blasted Flame Serpents lashed out with its tail and caught me across the face. My eye has swollen shut, and I fear what will happen when I am forced to open it.

I am badly burned, and there are times when it simply feels as if I am roasting alive beneath the layers of my armour. It itches, but I do not scratch, lest I come away with some of my own skin. This place is a place that I hated when I was here fighting imps...now I fight things infinitely more dangerous than mere fire imps.

Either way...I make my way out of this place now. Many things to be done, and I desperately desire to see my friends and family again.

So for now, I must put away the quill and take up the sword. If only I would never have to do that...I would enjoy the days that I could write and write only. However, that day is not yet come, and as such, I must take up my sword to protect those that I love.

Xanthias

I have...started a pilgrimage. My decision to do so, I fear, has caused the hearts of two to be paralysed. Yet, this is something that I must do, something that, when asked, I must say I did out of love for at least two.

Many things have happened, things that I would not dare write down anywhere but own mind. Not for fear of them being found out, but fear that if writing them down acknowledges them, then I care not to acknowledge them at this moment in time.

I have left them each a gift, for themselves, and for each child. I pray that those gifts are not the last things that I give them, but I do not know whether or not I will return.

I have given them each a promise that I will return, after I find myself. For that is the purpose of my journey. To find myself. I fear that I have lost myself in the time that I have sworn to be protector of the small villages and towns in Valorn.

The Gods, they smile upon me at times, though at other times I fear that I have upset the mighty Ben. For a long while, I did not see him as anything but a God of vengeance and wrath. Smiting us mere mortals for no reason, and on a whim. I know now, that though his smiting be random, they do not mean he harbours ill will towards those adventurers which he smites. Normally.

I go now, seeking many things, and though I know of two more mortals who have been ascended into the realm of the Gods, it disheartens me...I had always sought a position such as that. To work and live among the Gods, helping them in their heavenly constructions.

However, I would never deem myself worthy, nor would I bother them with such petty prayers. I am mortal, and will remain so either until they decide that I should move on and become something more than mortal but less than god, or remain mortal.

Either way, I will remain in my ever vigilant position of Protector. None shall prevent me from saving these people. I will not let them go the way that I let the people of Kimald. My friends, my family, I watched them leave me before my very eyes, taken from by the forces of the Black Lord.

I can save these people, and I will strive to do so until the Marc that the Great God Cory deems to remove his blessing of renewed life from me. When will that day be? Who is to say? It matters not, for I will remain vigilant, and I will serve the Gods in whichever manner they see fit.

Something good has happened this night. I will not disclose what, lest this book fall into scrutiny of the public eye.

However, on the opposite side of the Valornian platinum marc something bad has happened. I pray the other will move on.

Both I loved,
Only one I took,
The other I did not leave behind,
my life, my blood, my kin,
I will love this one always.

The one I took,
easily as lovely as the other,
understanding and contemplative

Both I swear to protect,
and both I -WILL- protect.

I pray to the gods,
that both are aware,
of my feelings toward them,
and they will each be in my heart.

It has been a long while since my hand has graced these pages. A long while with much happening in between.

I have met many new people, many people whom I wish I had met far sooner than this. I have also run into old friends.

Mylor, a mischievous rogue of a man, who would much rather send children after me than come himself, yet a friend. Sometimes whimsical, yet at other times he is nothing of the sort and simply quite...well, the only way to describe him is simply, Mylor.

The Noble Eshthala. A warrior through and through, and partner in crime with Mylor it seems. Both believe that the 'healing effects' of alcohol start with consumption. I think them both somewhat crazed on the idea of alcohol consumption as I limit myself to but a single mug of cider.

Finally one whom I have met before, as the case was with Mylor, but not one that I had known before. She is beautiful in a way that not many women can be said to be. Though her current frame is pale and gaunt from an illness that inflicted her body, she is still a very beautiful woman. I am somewhat afraid to disclose any information of her here, as this book very well could be taken from my pack and read. I will only give her name, and those who read this will have to make of it what they will, I will also refrain, upon her personal request from calling her Lady. Though she is, and doesn't know it. The short, simple definition of Lady, is a woman who makes those around her as comfortable as they can be, and she has removed from my lips and mind things I did not ever thing I would disclose to anybody, not even my own guildmates.

It is my supposition that this has gone on long enough, and I must give her name. I do not believe I have fallen in love with her, though some might call it such. I call it a deep respect, for I would never step between a person and themself. That may sound strange, but perhaps her plans do not include me as anything more than a friend. Perhaps her plans include another, I am unsure. Yet, Venus Darkmoon is a woman not to be trifled with. The respect that she earns is more than that given to many people, and I pray it remains that way.

There is also the sweet Isolde. A child with an eye that draws everything in, and a mind which processes it in that childish way. Do not think her a simple child however, lest you end up being horribly wrong. I adore the child, and have even held her in my arms. Small, for a man such as myself, but gorgeous in the fact that she is a hope of the future of Valorn. There are others with which hope also rests, so I do not place such a burden on that child alone. Will we be able to give them the world that they deserve? Only time, perseverence, and tact will tell.

While ridding this place of its foulness I happened across a portal. I, being the ever curious Cleric that I am, stepped through it into one of the most magnificient places I have ever been. The Golden Forge of the lost Golden Age. Many things there were as I'd never seen, and am likely to never see again, though I may be blessed by the Gods one day and will get to see it once more.

I have been in this place for far too long. I am beginning to become unbothered by the smell and jaded by the sights. I fight here to rid this place of the foulness called Cave Ogres. I can only imagine that they have been banished from the Ogre Village Northwest of Dundee. I have fought there to protect Dundee from there, but now I have had to extend my protection to Branishor, and this, the place below the the home of a great Sage. I have slain many, but they still seem to crawl out of these catacombs. I know not where they come from, and if I could only find the source I would rid this world of them...