Thursday, 20 April 2017
[FONT=Times][COLOR=saddlebrown]Confound these infernal guardians. Since I've begun my search I have learned all of my gold blessings and have even managed to put twelve extra gold crystals into the bank for later use. However, what I have NOT done is come across even one orange crystal. Now I know folks have told me they exist and I've seen other clerics use the more high powered blessings so I know they're out there but for the life of me I can't track one down. It's very frustrating and if I wasn't such an absolutely awe inspiring cleric I might begin to think the Gods are mad at me. Luckily though I am quite aware of how great I am so I'll just keep on smiling and hunting these suckers down.[/COLOR][/FONT]
Tuesday, 18 April 2017
[COLOR=saddlebrown][FONT=Times]Since my hunt in these blasted tombs for guardians ain't going so well I figured I'll take a break and amuse myself with some old funnies I've heard along the way.
The warrior returned to the king's castle with prisoners, bags of gold and other riches from his victories. "Tell me of your battles," said the king. "Well, sire, I have been robbing and stealing on your behalf for many, many turns now, burning all of the villages of your enemies in the north." The king was horrified. "But I have no enemies in the north," he said. "Well," said the warrior, "you do now."
A young cleric prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the cleric, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. He summoned the cleric and commanded him: "Cleric, tell me when you will die!" The cleric realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave. "I do not know when I will die," he answered finally. "I only know that whenever I die, the king will die three days later."
How do you find a princess?
You follow the foot prince.
In days of old, when adventurers were bold, before loos were invented, they left their load along the road and walked away contented
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The warrior returned to the king's castle with prisoners, bags of gold and other riches from his victories. "Tell me of your battles," said the king. "Well, sire, I have been robbing and stealing on your behalf for many, many turns now, burning all of the villages of your enemies in the north." The king was horrified. "But I have no enemies in the north," he said. "Well," said the warrior, "you do now."
A young cleric prophesied to a king that his favorite mistress would soon die. Sure enough, the woman died a short time later. The king was outraged at the cleric, certain that his prophecy had brought about the woman's death. He summoned the cleric and commanded him: "Cleric, tell me when you will die!" The cleric realized that the king was planning to kill him immediately, no matter what answer he gave. "I do not know when I will die," he answered finally. "I only know that whenever I die, the king will die three days later."
How do you find a princess?
You follow the foot prince.
In days of old, when adventurers were bold, before loos were invented, they left their load along the road and walked away contented
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Sunday, 16 April 2017
[FONT=Times][COLOR=saddlebrown]Here I am hunting on the beaches of Kilican and it is SO exciting. (can you sense the sarcasm here?) Vipers and urchins abound and they are mean, nasty little buggers. I suppose someone has to dispose of them though or they'd simply take over and that would be unacceptable. So once again it's Traxx to the rescue...a situation I am becoming quite familiar with. It's not easy being so great but as I said before...someone has to do it.[/COLOR][/FONT]
Saturday, 15 April 2017
[COLOR=saddlebrown][FONT=Times]So there I was just minding my business when out of the sky comes one of those messenger birdies you see flying all over the place. Don't get me started on the mess those things make. Anyhow, it turns out I had a message from Iron Commander Raffe. Seems like there were rampaging bunnies going crazy over by the Bromadic Hills and the Commander needed someone to take care of them.
Now of course I'm the one who came to mind because this was obviously not a job for inexperienced youngsters. Raging bunnies in search of a cocoa fix? That's some hardcore type of stuff right there.
So heroically I fought way to the Hills, laying waste to bunnies wherever I found them. Unless they were big, mean bunnies...those fellers were rough loooking and I ran from those faster than a warrior from a quiz bowl at the local Inn. I mean I didn't run exactly, it was more like advancing in the opposite direction but I'm getting off track here. Anyway, after dispatching those bunnies that were causing the trouble, the ones I could find anyhow, I went back to Milltown to wait for the parade that was sure to come in my honor.
Yes, I'm still waiting but I'm a cleric so I have faith.[/FONT][/COLOR]
Now of course I'm the one who came to mind because this was obviously not a job for inexperienced youngsters. Raging bunnies in search of a cocoa fix? That's some hardcore type of stuff right there.
So heroically I fought way to the Hills, laying waste to bunnies wherever I found them. Unless they were big, mean bunnies...those fellers were rough loooking and I ran from those faster than a warrior from a quiz bowl at the local Inn. I mean I didn't run exactly, it was more like advancing in the opposite direction but I'm getting off track here. Anyway, after dispatching those bunnies that were causing the trouble, the ones I could find anyhow, I went back to Milltown to wait for the parade that was sure to come in my honor.
Yes, I'm still waiting but I'm a cleric so I have faith.[/FONT][/COLOR]
