An ornate and gold-edged book, of which inside are secrets even she doesn't know or understand. But tucked all through it are leaflets of paper, as if she'd rather not write in the book its self. Except on the first empty page of the book is written in exquisite, flowing penmanship her full name. ~ Lavender Cecelia Morgan.
Saturday, 01 August 2020
I think I finally understand why being with someone has always been so hard for me, why I look for validation in whomever I was with, and yet no matter what they said I couldn't see it. Because I never believed that I was worth it, their time, their devotion, their love, and even though they tried to show me how much they cared, I didn't understand, I couldn't see it myself, and because I didn't love myself I though they would eventually grow tired of me, or forget whatever it was they saw in me in the first place, so I pushed them away. I'm going to try.. to be better, to see what they see in myself, I pray I can get better.. that perhaps I too can find happiness after all this time.
