An ornate and gold-edged book, of which inside are secrets even she doesn't know or understand. But tucked all through it are leaflets of paper, as if she'd rather not write in the book its self. Except on the first empty page of the book is written in exquisite, flowing penmanship her full name. ~ Lavender Cecelia Morgan.
Wednesday, 06 November 2019
*page is covered in wet spots* Why do I torment myself? I've dreamed of being bonded since I was a child, yet every opportunity I've had to do so, I screw it up! Why? I wish I could just be happy like other bonded people. Every time I am asked I end up panicking and running off, only once... Did I not run immediately... Did that before and after though with him. So technically EVERYTIME. Even I don't understand my reactions... How can I make them understand when I don't? It is sad when you can't give yourself what you most desire! Is it because of my parents example? Is it because my first potential bondmate that my parents chose was an evil man? I wish I knew, but I feel like I am broken...so broken, and I may never be like others.
