A beautifully bound leather book the ornate and gold-edging decorating this journals outer covering looks to be from another time and place. Several pages are stuffed inside the book as if she will not write on the actual book. Upon opening, the first added page reads... These are the personal accounts and wanderings of Lavender Cecilia Morgan.
Wednesday, 22 January 2020
I remember once telling someone that being around them calmed the storm that raged inside my mind, and one day them telling me I would have to find my own calm. It's been many turns since I finally found it, an acceptance that calmed everything in side my mind, heart, and soul. It's been a long time coming but I'm glad I've finally found it, perhaps now I can truly live again.
Lavender 21:55 - Link
Sunday, 12 January 2020
Peace is such a rare thing in my life. Always obsessing over one thing or another... or frantically trying to figure out my life and change it instead of accepting things as they are. I am not looking for something else, or dreaming of being with someone to take away the loneliness I've felt all my life.. amazingly that feeling left not long after I stopped looking and a peace settled. The past cycle has been insightful and peaceful as I finally accepted my life as it is, gods how I wish I had learned to accept things long, long ago. But I will not agonize on the past, as I've accepted it as as if it were a school master, teaching me hard lessons I needed to learn. Now I go forth into the future, hopefully wiser and happier then before.
Lavender 20:44 - Link
Tuesday, 07 January 2020
It's been an amazing, and insightful turn. Got to talk to my best friend, the things he said about past events, at the time of the events... made no sense, but amazingly now they do. Perhaps this means I have grown...matured beyond what I was then.
Lavender 21:10 - Link
Saturday, 04 January 2020
Some turns are so hard, some like today I feel okay with my lot in life. I know where my heart is, and that it will never allow me to settle for less then someone similar. And while occasionally loneliness overcomes me, lately I am grateful for my stubborn heart not letting me settle just because I'm lonely. No one should settle for more then their dreams. Because they can be obtainable if one has faith and a great deal of patience. I am grateful for my past, it has taught me a great deal... About myself. And I actually look forward to what the future has to teach me, because it is when we stop learning, that we stop living.
Lavender 16:16 - Link