I suppose now is the time to tell him i seek solace...To escape the lands for a short while... i need to figure this out.....
*The page is splotched with ink and the writing quick almost thoughtless*

a quest i went on. within my own mind. to sort out good and evil. the darkness that consumes me making me bitter. Meditation and abstaining from food were probably not wise, but I had to find myself. to understand my feelings. and now I wait to speak them.

Gods grand me peace.

Comfort for the wary of mind body and soul.

the previous page has been torn away

I think I need to go away for a while...find myself...I dont want to worry anyone I suppose its best to go silently...No one will notice that way.

Just find you...just find me... I need to figure this out....

The writing does not appear to be her own but this form is more feminine and elegant:

It is confusing why men act the way they do. pulling the name of a woman whom affections they speak. I will pass. Trivial things at best and alone is what I'm best at being. No one to answer to or tell me to change. Change doesn't work like that. You cant force your beliefs on anyone and expect them to respond accordingly. I'm different and I enjoy and relish that fact.

They cant force me to wear my hair long nor short, apply kohl around my eyes or even tell me to be something different. I am Lotus, simple elegant name for a woman who hardly knows herself. The writing trails a bit and the woman adds her own writing. (She is simple and beautiful. She holds confidence in herself unlike I have ever known in the people I have met.Why any would seek to change her I'm unsure of.) Regardless, I find myself fighting not only to learn to read and write, but to overcome another fear.

I will not speak it in this journal nor am I sure any will speak it for me. I Am not sure im even ready to admit myself i am terrified of things....

The writing on the page does not appear to be her own, rather it seems to be that of a person she hired to write for her. The words are not overly elegnt nor do they flow nicely together. :
'The blood on my hands is washed away' Or so I thought to myself as I made my escape in the dead of the night. I heard the hounds called and did my best to muffle the sound of my shackle so none would hear me. The damnable thing was always what gave me away when I moved. Though despite grace sliding ones foot upon frosted winter ground was not what would be considered intelligent. Frozen feet whilst trying to run would lead to more issue later so I hid. In the mountains. Gods was it cold.

I can still feel the chill on my lips like deaths kiss. Is that what a kiss feels like? Cold and bitter. I think I should pass upon the off chance it leads me to deaths door once more. I find no pleasantry in freezing. But what I didn't know happened. I was captured. A man carried my cold and unconscious body for who knows how long to a small arena. I was in and out of consciousness and only had a moment to see. The sky was still dark and snow muddied the dirt road he travelled.

I awoke several hours later near a fire bundled in all animal pelts. I went to move but my body ached with each move I made. I didn't dawdle though, I threw the pelts from me looking for the chain that anchored me. I saw none freedom still was mine? I looked around and made sure none were near, I was completely alone. Perfect for escaping... I made my was to the door to only find the handle cold. It swung open with ease. I looked down and a blade and shield s well as a set of armor rested near the door in my size, so I took it.

I began exploring slowly each step filled me with anger, hatred. I felt no remorse nor pity and I still do not. Things happen fate is cruel. I am hardened to the harsh reality that perhaps none of us are equals. I leveled quickly each one coming faster than the last as my rage inside boiled over. I met a man, Wise to his words and not so stupid as to be predictable. He guided me to the places I sought and a shelter so we might have spoken.

I learned of all the professions and what they could offer though my mind is not yet made up I cannot say I will be able to make such a choice in but a few trainer visits. Turns passed before he finally asked of the blasted shackle. "Property." Was my reply nothing further needed to be said. He understood and offered his help. I declined at first as I thought it to be only my burden to carry. It was he who showed me kindness, and gave me hope, seems another like me trusted him so I went back and allowed him to remove it.

The weight falling brought me no relief rather it just was less to carry physically.

He smiled.

Not really alone anymore, friendship and such from someone who seemed pure in intent. Perhaps his name shall be remembered long after I recover. Friend.
I have yet to call him this as I find closeness a façade and way to sneak in and take someone for every weakness they can. I will allow him kindness, but at arms distance for now. I still seek nothing from him. Save for directions and a bit of friendly banter.

Home

Whatever that is I have yet to find, Perhaps it is not in these war torn lands with those that seem to be irreproachable with giving before asking. Just last turn that happened. I regret to say I was not exactly friendly to those that stuffed my pack with nasty heads of zombies, Rather they pulled in unwilling participants and expected some of us to be thrilled and beyond excitement at their immaturity. Idiots...

For now, I must go Lotus.

I plan to attempt to learn this reading and writing thing on my own...Though it all seems a mess of scribbles on paper though I try to read it.

Hey boy! Why do you continue to write my words, stop! They don't need...
The writing trails off and appears to be as if she jerked the quill from the hands of the boy.