Poverty.

I spent time in the Room of Contemplation in Caer. I was surprised by how impoverished the castle seems to be; however, I approve of it. I may attire myself in lavish clothing, spend an exorbitant amount of coin on treasures, rare foods and drinks, and useless trinkets, but ultimately it all means nothing.

When the Queen allowed adventurers to see further into her home I spent quite a bit of time cleaning up the herb garden and well north of the kitchens. This was the first occasion I spent a great deal of time in another part of the castle, besides the Great Hall and Throne Room.

I questioned the statues, I poured my thoughts out before the effigies of the gods. Nothing. They did not answer my cries for guidance. They did not offer some sort of sign they were listening. Achelle spoke with her apprentice, later informing me of the conversation, and the apprentice asked how can one be a Cleric without faith. When Achelle recounted the conversation, I snorted derisively. I do not have faith in the gods. I know they exist, I know they are powerful, but I do not trust them to come to my aid as they do for others (be it with blessings or physically manifesting before me).

Having faith in others is a difficult thing for me. Having spent the majority of my life away from other humans, it is a strange concept to accept their assistance in doing daily tasks; however, the Queen stated I need to prove I can rely on others, and that they can rely on me. Even before her words, I have undertaken that challenge. I've given away more coin in the last few cycles than I have ever in my life, besides when contributing for the tunnel extension. Cody mentioned he was farming, simply gave him 4,000 plat. Not a large sum, but clearly more than what he had; more than what many have.

Poverty. Such a vile thing.