Some days I feel like such a fraud. He calls me angel...when I don't feel like much of one, if I am then my "wings" were ripped from me and left me in a constant pain that never really goes away, I've just become good at hiding it. Trying to allow myself to become close to another... when for so very long another held my heart. Most days though... I admit it is nice... to feel wanted, and I do look forward to the being around one who makes me smile again, but days still come that I miss what was, I miss him. I know moving on doesn't make that go away, I know he will always be a part of me, though there are days I now wonder if that was all a sweet dream because he seems so distant from me now. Life is so uncertain and unfair, but one has to do the very best they can with what they have. The one I am with now wants me to meet his sister, I have to admit I am quite nervous about that, it seems like such a huge commitment... like the next step in the relationship that I am not sure I am ready for. Though he also said she is already interested in being a cleric, to have a student would be a blessing I hate to turn away, so I certainly have mixed feelings right now, and I think that has affected the dreams which have turned dark and tormenting again.