Thursday, 09 April 2015
Was it fate or just an illusion of the stars. That deep voice runs loose in my thoughts constantly. "Our stars just weren't meant to be."
I will be okay. I wished them well and hope they can find what they both are looking for and need.
"A series of failures does not make me one." That is what a friend told me. "Cherish who you are and what you have become. Those failures and the wicked past you faced and over came made you who you are today." Those words are so true the more I think of them.
I sit on the beach once again contemplating what it is I want and wish for. Letting the waves lap at my feet and the mist in the air touch my skin and face. Washing away what it can.
A gentle voice of encouragement to come from my seclusion. A hug to hold me while my thoughts went dark. A nudge to make me laugh and the ever welcome smile to brighten my day when I least expected it.
He had been a friend through this all. One that I can lean on, scream, cry and even just sit there with him letting my mind wonder. I don't deserve his friendship I am sure many have said. But yet here he is before me a companion in mind and heart. He had always just wanted me happy and to see me smile. Now he works again to do just that. The smiles and laughter are starting to come easier at times. Now to just allow myself that happiness others say I deserve.
I returned a gift once given to me. A promise so to say that he would always be there for me. A simple bracelet yet the meaning behind it was far from that. A promise to always be there in a time of need. To allow the other to help you when your down and pick you back up. I promise this and so much more to him now. He knows I still am not ready to declare myself to him. But he knows my words are true and that I do care for him. I will allow and cherish the healing words and time he is giving me so freely.
I will be okay. I wished them well and hope they can find what they both are looking for and need.
"A series of failures does not make me one." That is what a friend told me. "Cherish who you are and what you have become. Those failures and the wicked past you faced and over came made you who you are today." Those words are so true the more I think of them.
I sit on the beach once again contemplating what it is I want and wish for. Letting the waves lap at my feet and the mist in the air touch my skin and face. Washing away what it can.
A gentle voice of encouragement to come from my seclusion. A hug to hold me while my thoughts went dark. A nudge to make me laugh and the ever welcome smile to brighten my day when I least expected it.
He had been a friend through this all. One that I can lean on, scream, cry and even just sit there with him letting my mind wonder. I don't deserve his friendship I am sure many have said. But yet here he is before me a companion in mind and heart. He had always just wanted me happy and to see me smile. Now he works again to do just that. The smiles and laughter are starting to come easier at times. Now to just allow myself that happiness others say I deserve.
I returned a gift once given to me. A promise so to say that he would always be there for me. A simple bracelet yet the meaning behind it was far from that. A promise to always be there in a time of need. To allow the other to help you when your down and pick you back up. I promise this and so much more to him now. He knows I still am not ready to declare myself to him. But he knows my words are true and that I do care for him. I will allow and cherish the healing words and time he is giving me so freely.