**A note found attached to the leg of a tired bird**

I am sorry that I did not bother to tell you ahead of time, but I have found a ship that has taken me a distance from the shores of Valorn. Where my travels will lead me is far beyond my imaginings. My hope is that by having left the lands, my beloved Kyria will find the peace with her friends she desperately seeks.

If anyone reads this note, pass my love on to her. I oft find myself spinning my white ring absently, lost in thought of times we spent together.

To those that battle still... remain strong. Keep to the path, friends.

Feel free to send a bird back to me...

Ahh… so. It has been quite some time since I wrote a letter expressing my interest in joining up with the AVE. At first, I was well enough received. Shortly after the initial “Hello’s” I was left speaking with a member called Hojo for a couple days.. No one else seemed interested enough in having me as a brother to ask questions or even engage me in conversation. I have withdrawn my application.

This is probably my fault as well.

** at this point the page has been ripped **

An issue that has bothered my soul...

A few days ago, perhaps it was a week, another person came to me seeking sponsorship. Sam portrayed herself as one who was quiet and not willing to speak with others, and I had reached out to her. I agreed to be her sponsor, willing to tutor her and share my knowledge. In the meantime we spoke on a great number of things...

At that time, she was not certain she even wanted to become a cleric, saying she was torn between being a chanter or cleric. So, I tasked her, as I would task any of my trainees to speak to folk of all professions and she expressed her distaste in such things. I pushed her, as I felt a mentor should, to face her fears and speak to folk anyway. She did so and was successful, even documenting her experiences... I was proud of her achievement and even more proud when she said she had decided on becoming a cleric. We then spoke on the Orders she could choose if she liked.. Speaking of giving blessings and healing folk. Of the three Orders available, I told her that it sounded like the Order of Cory would be most fitting...

The Queen made her announcement in the throne room of Caer Lal and Sam turned out to be anything but the quiet one that had problems with communicating. She spoke loudly and a bit too proudly, earning herself a bit of time within the Royal Guard's jail. I had sent her messages to try and quiet her, but she would not listen. A dilemma formed within me...

This added on to another problem I already faced... For I, also, was facing issues... Issues of a most severe nature, issues that threatened my faith. I had stopped wearing the holy robes of Ben and had been thinking of changing my profession. I told her that I would not be able to be her sponsor based on these problems. It truly had not to do with her...

While she was being held, I managed to speak at length with my support system (may the gods bless you all!) about both situations, my crisis of faith and the trainee that would not take direction. All were supportive on the side of the crisis and I received mixed results about Sam. I felt that if the Queen and gods felt her punishment was over, who was I to not give her another chance.

By the time Sam was released, she had decided that the goddess Miranda would be more fitting for her and I had chosen to keep the robes, to keep my faith. In fact, I fought my way through the Eastern Mountains on my own to reach the goddess Miranda's temple and purchase robes for her. I was so proud of this achievement and thought that she would appreciate it. I met with her in the theater of Dun'dee to speak of her refusal to acknowledge my direction. During the talk, I learned that what would truly make her happy was if Nael NocTyrne would be her sponsor, but she had said she would not ask him. We were able to speak for only a before the Queen came to post an announcement. As soon as the Queen finished, we resumed our talk.

My plan was to serve two ends... First, to see if she could take direction and second... to get Nael to be her sponsor, as that was her desire. As I told her that my final directive as her sponsor was to ask Nael, he entered the room. Sam became upset and refused, so I asked him to do it - handing over her robes as well as the Pilum I had obtained. Nael questioned my choice of robes for her immediately asking if I knew what I was doing...

In fact, I did know what I was doing...

I was trying to provide the best possible experience for my trainee as I possibly could. Hard tones ensued, harsh words spoken between Nael and I as well as between Sam and I... Until finally I could take no more. I told them both that I resigned as the sponsor.

After quite a bit of thought on my part, I realized I felt as if I had broken my word to Samaire. I approached her to apologize and was met with what I expected to be met with. Animosity. Anger. I asked forgiveness and told her that I would accompany her to the temple if she so wished. She rejected my apology and my action.

Later, I saw Nael and Sam walking toward the Temple... and then saw her face in the sky as she took her profession. She became a cleric as she said she wished. I sent them both messages of congratulations, only to be ignored.

I am happy for Samaire, that she found her way. Unfortunately, this has all cost me a friend. Or someone that I had thought was my friend.

For the past few weeks... I have made error upon error to the point of bringing doubt to my own purpose in this world. I am the child that cannot help but stick his finger into every clear puddle he might see, dipping down into the soft bottom - only to stir it up into a murkiness no longer pristine.

I seek to help, instead I hurt.

**the page ends here at a ripped section in the book, but continues on the following**

I am forever thankful for my support. I have found friends in a few.. My sponsor Doyle is wise, as is my mentor Azure. They ground me with their knowledge. Kyria is my heart and I will forever value what she stands for... Meriel is one of the dearest friends I've got here... Gods bless her in her endeavors, she is not afraid to speak her opinion - yet no matter how tough and 'Thorny' she may appear to be she cares deeply for others. I have met another recently, one called Sorynn. There is something sad about her.. I have tried to reach her, but I do not know how.

Ako has grown. I smile to myself as I think of the man he was, compared to the cleric he has become. He makes me proud and reminds me why we are here.

I have found friends in Oscar Twosword and Dobroc as well as Braglagrith as well, I enjoy speaking with them in the odd hours while we hunt or farm the lands.

Time to Reflect

Sitting beside another monument
Looking back to a lifetime spent
Defending our land of Valorn-
Bodies bloodied, split and torn

Parry, Deflect - We must reflect
If we seek to earn the god's respect

Th cry arrives and so we rise
From our seats at Jeffrey's side
Some, for glory do battle
Others merely to test their mettle

Courage not lacked, 'tis time to reflect
On companions lost, lest we forget

And what else is to be done?
With battles fought, battles won
Battle scars too pale to hide
Tell the tale of the pain inside

Glowing monument, the moons reflect
Our desires, goals; and all our intent

I am so sorry that I have not found the time to put any words down within these pages since my first entry so long ago...

So much has taken place I am not sure where to begin. I suppose I can highlight some of the more important issues... I met Kyria Galahad as well as The Fable-Teller and the Holy Warrior. These three were perhaps the most influential in my early days within Valorn.

I had known for some time that I was to be a cleric, but was not at all sure how I would go about it. Azure and Doyle helped me get started on that path. Since then I have worked diligently to earn a number of blessings and put them to good use.

'Ria accepted my ring of promise and I admit this made me smile as I once had running through the pens barefoot. We have had our issues, mostly due to miscommunication... Mostly those problems have been worked out. (I hope.)

I was pleasantly surprised when Ako asked me to be his sponsor, and again I thank the gods for the wisdom of 'Ria, Az, and Doyle to help see me through and make the correct decision. At least I hope it was the correct decision... I suppose only time will tell.

After I had thought I had sparked up a decent rapport with Urkki, we had a falling out over his way of seeing to the issue of the rats that had chewed through the walls of the Dun'dee Inn. Since then things have fallen on rocky ground, to say the least. This caused me grief as he is a member of the Twenty-Two guild and I had been giving great thought to applying there. After many marcs of careful deliberation, I decided to go ahead with the application. During the process he seemed to be attempting to goad me at every turn. My subsequent reaction cost me any chance at the guild.

I have decided that guilds are most likely not for me, and I shall avoid Urkki at every turn in order to make life easier for those friends of mine that also enjoy his company. I know myself and know that I cannot hold my tongue for long, nor should I have to.

I imagine I will have plenty of time to add more in the days to come...

It seems there are many here that were once mere farm folk, eh? I, myself, am the son of a pig keeper. I would do everything within my power to refrain from tending the sows, and never did much care for the feeling of mud betwixt my toes. One day, as I was lounging about on the only pile of dry hay in the pen, well away from me da's ever-seeking eyes, I was startled from a daydream by a strange cackling noise. I jumped to my feet, ready to pretend to have been working, when I noticed the sound had come from rather crazed looking old man.

He pointed a long and bony finger at me and proclaimed that I had "the mark" upon my soul. I was a wild one, as many children are. I called him a crazed old loon and he tilted his head back and cackled again, claiming that I'd try to fight the calling and would pay for it as the gods saw fit. The old man was so right. As I grew older, I would stray from the path of the gods... oft chasing ale or girls as far as I dared. It never failed, however, when I'd become sober again, there'd be some sign from the gods. ... Once, I swear, my mug of ale even spoke to me.

Eventually, my da passed on and the final straw was losing the entire farm to a virulent swine sickness. A flu of some sort, I'm told. That was when I made my way here, to this land. I needed to see the great temple at Branishor...