We all make mistakes; my biggest mistake was telling him the truth. I thought it would be best to be honest with him. I thought it would show him that I had nothing to hide. I knew he would be upset and he had good reason to be, but I thought he would trust me. I wanted to scream at him that I love him; I wanted to beg him to stay. But I couldn’t find my voice and I had to walk away.

My every marc is now spent in the cave, the spiders are a good distraction and I need the distraction. I can’t stop for a single moment, I can’t think about what happened.

I know I have a decision to make, and I know what it will be, but I'm not ready to make it just yet.

But I am fine, I can hide behind a smile and show the whole world that I am strong.