I found a golden glowie today while killing horrors in old Dundee for some exercise. I couldn’t help but chuckle at the slight pleasure I felt from seeing it drop, lying there all shinning and pretty in the middle of the goopy guts of the horror who gave it up. Even though I have no need for it and will likely become a gibberish scroll from the machine, it brought me joy. It was nice to feel the happiness. It really is the little thing. Especially in a time where the Evil One is trying to once again destroy us. A few moons ago Pallas and I found ourselves in the Hall of the Archmage; after stepping through a peculiar looking portal. We, along with a small group of Brethren, quietly listened to his story explaining how the evil One is trying to develop a new weapon that will destroy our Life Monuments - and in the process the people of Valorn.

It feels like a situation we cannot really win without much loss. Or should I say more loss then we have suffered already when you remember the maimings and past attempts. His methods will cause permanent death to us if we try and stand up and fight - yet I know that so many will be willing to stand and fight, regardless of this. However, if we do, we will dwindle down in numbers, so what is it we are supposed to do? The way I see it is we must stop him before he constructs the weapon needed to succeed. I have always felt that it is our mortality -or proneness to mortality - that defines us as human. But through a sacrificial gift from the Gods, upon each death, our human spirit escapes and reenters us through the gift of the life monuments. If this is taken from us, what then? It sends shivers down my spine.

Keeping this thought in mind makes me see even more clearly that each day we have here is a gift and an opportunity to do something good. And to feel the joy and appreciation from the little things in life.

Another chance to grow stronger and healthier - despite what the Evil One is plotting.

I give my thanks to the Gods every day that there are still things like love, happiness, unity, hope - even in our darkest times.

So much to do and so little time to do it in.
I feel like I do not belong anymore.
I feel like I am loosing myself and who I had become.

It frightens me.

Our Queen arrived several days back with the news that our King's body had, after all this time, been located. Closure is usually a good thing, but the circumstances surrounding this news are troubling, and open up all sorts of new questions. For his body was found deep in the waters off the Eastern coast of Valorn and encased in what has been described as an unknown, glasslike substance. Worse yet, his heart was missing - removed deliberately from his body. To know of this desecration to our King both angers me and pushes me to tears, for he deserved so much better. I do not yet know of the Queens plans, or if there will be a plan towards a next step but I will be there for her the moment I hear she gives us her word, to do whatever it is she will need from her people. Until then, I venture the lands as peacefully as I can; giving my help where needed, working on the guild and my writings - and of course raising my weapons to ward off any imposing evil I cross paths with.

Lost down underneath
all that remains is now found
of the peoples dreams

The bright days become darkest nights and then the nights become days once more, and we do whatever it is we do all over again. This particular new day I have made some resolutions in my head - which I shall keep there, with the hope that perhaps this time I will have the power to hold to them. In a world of rushed days and vivid dreams come night; it can be hard to keep our focus on such things and accomplish the goals we set forth for ourselves. With all the adventures I have in life I am surprised I even have time, or room in my mind to dream of new ones. But I do - and they never stop. I am not complaining, for I love to dream. And some dreams I hold very dear to me heart. Such as the dreams I often have of my dearest Rogue and myself, spending time together by the sea under the stars sharing a meal and stories and laughter.

I dearly miss those times we shared together - more then I can ever express to him - but at least I have my dreams and memories to hold onto. And the funny thing about them is they always appear to me when I am feeling the saddest and missing him more then other days. The dreams help revive my joy of having someone in my life who loves me as much as the Rogue does. They revive my spirit and my very soul - and they give me the power to keep up with my busy life and do whatever it is I need to do to keep moving onto the next day, the next stage of life or whatever it is that lies ahead. To hold onto the love we share and the hope that we will once again find the right moment to share new laughter and stories under the stars above our beloved land.

You always love me
Through good times and the bad times
My dearest rogue

I so dearly love the people of my lands but at the same time, lately I am not sure that I can stand the pressure of being around people. Sunrifters rays do not shine long enough for me to even begin to say all that I am thinking and feeling, all that I’d say if only I felt that it mattered.

What does this even mean? I do not know myself. Or perhaps maybe I do .. and I just can not bring myself to admit it.

Seeking, I do not know
Rain, wind, sand blind eyes
A future unclear .. unsettled.

The winds have grown slightly cooler these days and I can feel the cold creeping into my bones. However, I do not like to admit that, but these days the cold bothers me more then it used to and makes me feel old. Perhaps it is because I have much love and warmth here in these lands. Love and warmth I did not have much of in my life before, that I feel the cold so much more then I once did. Either way, it irritates me, but I do my best to ignore it.

Fall festivities have ended, but I had much fun with my ‘headless’ costume, writing some festival inspired bit and story-telling and participating at the many different events. I would have been to them all, if I could have been. The pumpkin carving was one of the most fun times I have had in a while and my lantern is beautiful. I will keep it with me always despite it being more ‘seasonal’ looking. The Goddess Miranda and Goddess Devora Jane had given our lanterns their magical, Godly touch and so now they’re now forever preserved into their unique and beautiful images. Everyone did such a nice job. What a delightful gift which I thank them heartily for.

The guild is doing well, and thanks to help from Nael the newest addition will soon be completed. Then there is the area under the topsoil to work with. It is an extraordinary little place under there with much potential I have been pondering for quite some time now just what will be done. There is no rush on my part at all - as these things can not be rushed though and require clear, thought-out planning. So I continue with my thoughts . . .

Lately I’ve been able to spend some more time with Pallas, my love, and though it has been nice it is also very bittersweet . . . for our time together is much too short, and although I accept things the way they are, I dearly miss him when I walk these lands without him. I know he loves me and spends his time here constructively - and I have been very proud of all he has achieved. I always knew he would be someone people could and would rely on. He is a good and intelligent man with a great many skills . . . and useful tricks.

Well, I have more planning and thinking and things to do.
Peace and love.

So much is going on these days! It is wonderful to see the excitement though out the lands - not to mention Great K bouncing around spreading merriment and cheer. Even if he did accidentally smush poor Nael in the Dundee Inn. Well, the contest for the Shipwrecked Boat went over fairly well. We had a few entries - but quality entries indeed! In the end though, I could not judge them so I had asked someone whom I felt had the knowledge and talent to do so fairly - and Topaz the Poet did a marvelous job judging, and I very much doubt anyone but a darn fool could say otherwise. She is quite intelligent and articulate with the arts. She has my thanks.

So pumpkins started showing everywhere and I was in a slight state of awe. Sort of a silent awe though, unlike my friend Lowrenzo, who wouldn’t be silent until a pumpkin fell out from the sky and hit him over the head. It was the perfect ‘topper’ for something that I had been working on and I simply had to have one! So my friend and guildkin Lital went out hunting me a pumpkin a few days after seeing Raffe with his and after Lowrenzos near accident. She was in the tree and I was making my way to Nrolav when she joyfully announced she had found one. She wanted to meet me at Cerbies to give it to me. And so we did. It wasn’t a marc after the pumpkin exchange that the Goddess Miranda’s voice was heard across the lands. She said that about 5 pumpkins had now been found, and that if you had been lucky enough to find a pumpkin to hold onto it - for they are special and may turn out to be rare items, and that their purpose was still yet unknown. Well certainly I could not keep Litals pumpkin that she had just given to me for my own purpose, so I passed it back and told her to keep it safe like Miranda spoke. Right then a pumpkin, seemingly created from generosity and some pretty red sparkles materialized on the bar top .. right there in Cerbies. I was touched and grateful, to say the very least. Quite happy also that my Headless Lilli costume I had worked so hard on was now complete .. and with a head! So this is my pumpkin. There may be many others like it - but this one is mine.

We’ve been working on the guildhall and there is a new area under way. One part is finished and the others are still heavily under construction so if you visit please take care. We’ve inducted several new members recently. Lital, Dementia and Lavinia .. and we still have a few more applications under review. I have the deepest faith in our new members, and I am so pleased with my Twilight family and blessed to have them in my life. Each one contributes to the unique specialness of the family and I could not be happier. I would do anything I can for all of them.

I’ve been working on a contest for the Festival and that’s almost finished. We have been working on updating our Twilight parchments and when that’s finished I’ll get the contest on the news post for everyone to see. I have contributed to a few other contests and FINALLY I’ve decorated the Misty Twilight Path for Fall Festival, as promised. Most unique about it I would have to say, is a gift from Azure. A rather giant troll head, much unlike any other trolls head that I’ve seen before in these lands hanging right down the center of the archway. Sometimes I keep it with me. It is just too creepy and weird for words! She knew I’d love it and boy was she right! I have come to deeply love my family and friends in my seasons within these lands. I know I said this earlier but I really am blessed. I would do anything for them.

Each day I feel that I am more and more out of touch with the people I love and the lands I protect and call my home. I have been feeling lonely and spending most of my waking hours training in the tombs, surrounded in the dark therein. When I roam the lands it is always under the cover of dusk or twilight - and I mainly move through unseen. Part of me prefers it; part of me misses the way I once was. Outgoing and doing anything I can to help. Oh, I still do that of course, and I always will, but there are many within the lands willing to do the same so one clerics touch will not be missed.

I have this feeling that I am lost and fading, and it frightens me - try as I might to fight down those feelings. I feel like a drone, someone drifting through life on automatic – as if I can not control any of this. These very thoughts cause me to pull out my own hair. Gods, please give me the strength I need.

Pallas has a charming new hat, and the Fall Festival has been announced. For these things I am thankful, as they’ve puts a smile on my face.

Another...

Twilight soothes thy eyes
Sky filled with softness;
A perfect moonlit eve.

The weather as I sit by the azure water is perfect. The Sunrifter rays warm, the breeze cool and the smell of sea salt lingers in the air. I sit and think. I think about how I crave the action and intensity that I used to have here in my life, which can occur at any given moment, but also that I crave the peace of mind and the tranquility that there is within me now - and yet I do not thoughtfully seek out either. Instead I let what will naturally be, come over me … and I am content. I am at peace. However …

I am aware of everything going on. I watch nature animate, and I watch the glorious Sunrifter rise and set. I watch the tides ebb and flow and hear the words carried in whispers on them. I watch the stars glitter pictures across the skies as the reality that things are different now continue to interfere with my thoughts and with my life – and of those who say they love me. I watch in a slow like motion as I meditate, and I listen to words inside my mind which seem so lost and far away, encouraging me on. I burn these words into my head - as I watch myself walking off alone, blurring into the distance off the horizon.

The other person in my mind does not even realize I am no longer there. To them perhaps I have disappeared long ago by changes within our lives, but that simply is not so.
I am still right where I’ve always been, if one only looks in the right places.

I look around but …

I do believe that in the end, what is meant to last forever, will endure to beat the tests of time and what is not will simply dissipate.

The day dawned bright with the rays of Sunrifter and the sea breeze blew fresh across my face as I sat, comfortable outside of the lighthouse, simply enjoying the beauty of the nature that was all around me. I felt alive and I felt blessed to be able to be part of such miracles.
The Gods are so kind …

At Sea
Between wet feet
Colorful fishes swim
In shimmering azure

I had been working on something else for Azure and her field guide. The Soul leaches seemed like so long ago and were fun to do. I'd been looking through it one day and noting some creatures still needing imagry, and of course marine life caught my eye. I love the ocean and all the mysteries that dwell within.

I tried to capture in the big guy a pulsing motion and light reflecting through him, in a sort of abstract and fun way (sort of like me??) yet keeping with the theme of what would work for her guide and for anyone reading it.

She says she really likes it, but perhaps she did not want to hurt my feelings ... Just kidding!

I've got other ideas but who knows how those will turn out. But I sure love trying!!



Stinging Jellyfish

Some of the newer style poems I have been writing.

Life or Death – The Zone
Crossing over the bridge
Living, body pulsates, death
Zone horrors howling


The Abyss (I can imagine a melody acompanying this one that goes with the emotion and words. The first note starting out loud and strong and then echoing off...like something plunging into a depth)
Plunge in darkness deep
Alight to face the demon guards
Standing one or two


Zeds - The Undead
Decay on the inside
Staggering slow with a moan
Hungry for your braaains




This one I can imagine being spoken softely, in a sing-sung voice to the faint, low plucking hym of a lyre, or zyther

Visons
Ominous and wretched
Through elder eyes
A terror unknown

When Bebhi sent her bird asking me to get to Dundee, as our High Cleric Elijah was addressing the townsfolk, I raced there as swiftly as I could run. He was accompanied by T'yandra Stallheart and was already speaking when I arrived. Speaking of the Sea Dwellers, their more frequent attacks and the possible imposing threat they hold over us. They spoke that we must be watchful and ever careful of them. That they posses an intellect that we the people had underestimated in the past.

He also spoke with emotion of the dark visions he has had concerning the Dead Zone. His demeanor changed briefly as he spoke of dangers and darkness - his eyes briefly showed a reflection of fear, pain and suffering as he spoke of an impending evil he could not place. It sent shivers through my body and into my soul - but his voice gave me the determination to stand up once again strong, to face whatever may threaten the lands and all within it that I so dearly respect and love.

Afterwards I retreated with Pallas to discuss things a bit more in depth. Aside from the Sea Dwellers I still am not quite sure what I am looking out for but I know that when I see it - I’ll know. In my dream last night there was darkness across a vast, burnt landscape. I searched for a sign of life for what felt like days. There was nothing. Nothing until I stumbled upon a small snake He slithered around my feet as I bent to speak to him. I asked him where everyone was – where anything was. He told me that they had passed down all these roads long ago, screaming in pain of all different sounds, and with a fury of vibrant flame following close behind them. Animals, people insects - scattering in all directions trying to avoid being burned out and turned to ash by the flame creature. I asked him what it was. What it wanted. He only hissed as his snake eyes flashed red ‘to collect your soul’ before slinking into a small hole in the ground. The hole sealed over and it was then that I awoke.

I do not know what it all means, my dreams are usually intense and often symbolic but triggered by events going on within my life so it is possible the High Clerics warnings made way into my subconscious. I do not know. I only wish I were skilled enough to roam the Dead Zone without aid and help watch there; but all of the lands need watching and protecting … and I will loyally do all that I can to keep them safe and free of evil.

Well, sadly I missed the Dockside Faire for reasons outside of my control but I was able to get a bird to Azure and Topaz - so my mind was settled knowing I was not to let them down, since I had agreed to help judge the pirate costume contest, and I was really looking forward to that. I am sure they found others quite suitable though to help out with that. I am to understand that the plan went well and the bandit woman Merdith was spotted and soon caught, supposedly before stealing from us so this is good. I still have some questions,okay alot of questions, I need to ask.

I will need to speak to Pallas when I get the chance - Pallas the Perceptive that is!

I am keeping my Sunrifter shard lit as often as I can until I know he returns safe. It comforts me and I hope its light and energy will helps guide him in someway.

Life can be so tough, and when it is I have found that it does not get easier quickly, but eventually things do get better and I believe in that because I have experienced it - and for that there is reason to smile and show faith. Wish upon a bright star, blow away the petals of a delicate flower into a breeze, whatever you feel helps, just believe and stay as positive as you can. Everyone’s soul has been dragged through darkness, hopelessness, anxiety and despair. Times where we feel more hurt, exhausted and completely alone – but no, we are not alone and our lives like the world we stand upon revolves in circles and at a point in time things will change again the hurt and sadness we feel will end and the happiness the comfort and good feelings will once again return – stronger then ever and our souls are stronger for having endured.

Peace, happiness, love and light can prevail in all times of trials and these unending assaults from the darkness and evil - on the body and the heart and soul. With strength and heart honor and will … devotion and kinship how could it not?

Well what a nice surprise. Miranda was about wrecking havok on old guild halls and setting up some space for new - an out with the old in with the new sort of thing and she stopped by the Dundee inn for a drink afterwards. She says you work up quite a thirst wrecking havoc and such with destruction like that. She had a few words to say - Imagine that, a subject I myself have had to speak and write of, about some adventurers and their continued blindness or not seeing who the real enemies who stalk these lands are. And who are they? Why the beasties and the demons of course and not each other. A pity it is that there will always be those who are lost or blinded and that it will never end. Then she set off a firework of mine and Urkkis. Right there in the inn after Urkki suggested. Was quite lovely and amazing the way they whizzed right out the window guided by her will and blasted up into the skies where they then burst into a brilliance of color. Made me smile genuinely for what felt like the first in a very long time. I was grateful. Then luckier even I got to see Skye for a time and the little thief stole my plume. I love her, I do.

And the crier just said the funniest thing!! He claims that dear Shirila Moonlight is not a jerk! HA! I was a non-jerk not so long ago, too - if I remember correctly. Well she deserves not to be called a jerk and her story is rather funny. She is good people and works hard to help others, I am proud of her. And darling Shannara - the Compassionate! How happy am I for her and how deserving is she to walk with such a proper title that graces her very essence. And my friends at Shieldwall – I am so happy to see they now have a guild plot. It pleases me to see such positively as I walk.

Now to just get some more time with my family – and some one on one time with Pallas (and maybe meet who I hear he is sponsoring) and FINALLY get the Tower to look as I imagine it in my head then I will feel THAT much better. In my quieter times now, I miss you, my dear friends.

It has been far too long ...

maybe I will share some of my little writings from the past weeks. Maybe. Just a few to help start to get mind feeling a bit more open and free again and to get myself back into socializing a bit? I dont know. All this alone time is nice and seemingly what I needed but yeah, it has been somewhat lonely lately and at the same time there is not a whole lot I can do about it. I miss everyone, especially Lucy and Pallas. Passing momentary chats or a note just are not the same.

And I still have no finished that room for the hall that would not come together and I am currently thinking of some order to another area but thats not sorting out as I'd like, either. Ill have to ask for some advice there as well. I see things so differently in my visions and ideas then how they come together in the reality of things at times and that can truly be dissapointing ...

It seems I roam the lands during the quieter times of these longer days and rest when my friends and family are more awake and lively. Bah. I hate that but what can one do, eh? Things are as they will be, I suppose. I do what I can to keep things in order but I miss my friends and most of all I miss my dear Pallas. I hope he know that though I see him less these days that I love him all the same, if not more. As we live we change I suppose that can not be prevented but right now things are just as they are - whatever that is, I do not really know. I have been burning so many candles and scrolls and thoughts along with them that I am surprised Ive not blocked out the rays of the Sunrifter yet. But all is well as I sit under the warmth of those welcome rays. Sometimes feeling like just a particle floating about in the breeze going unnoticed or perhaps briefly catching the glimpse of someones eye. But this is what I need and what I must do; I know it in my heart and soul. Other thoughts and things wiggle in and occupy my time and my thoughts as well - and I guess that is the way it goes for us all, at some point in our lives one day.

Though I can happily say my friends must be looking after me and making sure I eat enough, verily. Why how else then can I explain the 20 fresh Korungas that have been recently stuffed into my pack?

What? Oh - shall I blame the sneaky pirate? =)

Things have been far too busy for me, I think. Or is it that I am resting too much these days that blend together - I can no longer separate the time around me enough to tell exactly how I have really been spending it. Either way, I am feeling somewhat at peace with myself. I write little poems about what I encounter along my travels around the lands - should the mood strike. Perhaps I will share them eventually, I have not yet decided. I just know that I am doing what I need and that is to take some more time for myself and in the background still do what I am needed to do. And I meditate these days more then I ever have and I burn away lots of papers and light lots of candles. In truth it all is very cleansing.

We have a few applicants so I hope to get them sorted soonly. Belaine is lovely. Lucy recently sponsored her and we have spoken several times but I have not yet formally met Broutac Brunt so I hope that soon I shall get that chance. He seems a nice fellow and I hope his application goes smoothly. It is good to see the guild happy and also growing as we see fit. Now if only I could get the blasted first towers construction to go as smooth as I had hoped, but we have encountered a snag and I am none so thrilled about that at all.

For as much good and kindness as there is within our world I also sense much negativity within these lands between others, and it troubles me greatly. What is the reasoning behind it? Especially between those who have been through much together and survived through much together - fought together and protected these lands together against Balthazar and his attempts to destroy us and set us into permanent darkness. Where is the respect for those who have seen and lived through so much more then some others in times of past trials and turmoil? Where is the respect for our knowledgeable of elders and for the fellowship that has been building? Are the minds of men so naive and small; so unwilling to learn and so easily corrupted? Perhaps they need to be taught and shown some history, though quite often it seems some do not care about gaining an understanding of knowledge when they could be off gossiping about others or trying to drag others around through the mud. I might speak of no one and nothing in particular - just what I have observed in recent studies and observations. And I have to wonder now, what if there was something positive we could do to try and restore some of the common feelings and respect that should exist between men.

We blame Balthazar and his minions for so much of the evil and negativity around us but is it not possible that man themselves may be becoming an equal contender of negative and a threat of evil towards each other by the way in which we can behave and treat one another? Yes, I think so. Blame this on whoever, as man often will, anyone but themselves - but face it, though Balthazar and his evil, dark forces can and will influence man and their actions in the end it is man who has the ability to make their own decisions based upon their own free will. Each individual is responsible for their own unique thoughts and actions and therefore they should take responsibility for themselves - come what may, into their own hands every time. But many men are easily corrupted and swayed by others and the minds of men are easily weakened by words.

And in a world already filled with so much evil, dark forces and negativity I for one want positivity, peace, harmony and respect among my own race, not more corruption. Is that truly so much to ask? So as I sat pondering while I wrote out my thoughts and observations, a new thought came to my mind. What if for just a moment at a time - a day at a time we tried our very best to do away with something negative? The silly fighting among friends, family, and each other? We do away the best we can with all the unnecessary ill and spiteful feelings, the imature ways, the accusations, the name calling, the vindictive and harmful ways I have watched some come to use in daily living against their own brethren for what seems no good reason, and focus it on our enemies. Focus on one point, one glimmer of hope - one shared dream together to remind us that we as a people have not yet completely lost our way and that we all fight for the same Queen, the same Gods the same land, the same peace and the same freedoms as all others.

Now of course not everyone will get along or like one another and they should not, and if you act a fool then do not expect to be treated as a mature adult but there is just too much negative focused in the wrong places. And do not be mislead - in time evil will surely always turn against the evil deed doer. Maybe if everyone did their small part to try and refocus their energies in the right places we can better eliminate evil through our behavior and maybe together we can alter the course of all our destinies. It may just be enough to keep our minds somewhat stronger. I may be just a silly, rambling cleric but I am certain that so much emotional negativity between men will get us nowhere good, fast.

The day of the big bonfire is finally here and I am excited and happy and have had a good nights rest. The festival has been fun and relaxing thus far and everyone seems to be in good spirits. For the most part things are peaceful and it feels quite nice. I must admit that I get enjoyment out of gliding about and playfully spooking people with Vampana. She is quite the character to play out and it does not get much weirder then she does; although all the wailing is causing me to consume more tree moss tea then normal to sooth my slightly sore throat, but it is well worth it for the fun of the festivities!

Fall Festival! The madness has finally arrived, the air is crisp and clear, spirits seem high and even Vampana has retuned to visit - though she seems none too thrilled about it. All is seemingly well for the time being. I am glad for all of this. I have been waiting for this time of the season along with everyone for what feels like a long while now and I welcome the weirdness, merriment, good spirits and festivities. It is nice to have some thing different and fun to break up what can become the sometimes mundane rhythms of our daily activities. As busy we try to remain, ditiful in our daily activities and as creative as we can be, I do not think any of us can escape how life can sometimes begin to fall into a type of foreseen and steady pattern some days. I always try to make sure I do something different each day that I did not do the day before. Thankfully with writing that really helps for me, and helping out different people and with making new plans things often are changing for me (at least inside my head) and it keeps my mind fresh. It also helps keep away from my thoughts some things I would rather not think about for the time being.

Cider is back - and I am addicted to its warm, soothing goodness. I really, truly am in need of this break. The Viscontessa Miranda has announced a bonfire and tales to take place within a few days. The location is still yet unknown but it sounds like it will be a great night indeed.

So it seems that it is not recommended you nap anywhere but locked away in your own guildhall during these weird days or else risk a pretty a high chance of being inadvertently smooched. Never mind only the terror that lashes wildly out at you in these lands with each step; or the frightful evilleness ready to pounce and rip your body to shreds. The foul vermin, slowly crawling out from their terrestrial graves and shambling in search of your measly brains are no longer all we must watch out for. Nay. For during theses strange days where man may seem to become beast, amphibian, world crier, rodent, balthazar or even the gods themselves there is something equally as bizzare out there - and it is lurking. Watching and waiting to try and steal a smooch from you when you are not even looking.

No one is safe. No one! ; )

A small contest was announced by our Viscontessa Miranda soon after I meandered my way into the Dundee Inn. Pallas soon followed and we set off again in search of an item we could set before the Viscontessa that was thought to be underappreciated or overlooked in the lands. Oh there were some interesting ones presented. Valor set down an item I very much liked and her reasoning in the meaning behind it gave one something to think about indeed. Of course we all had different views and ideas. Myself, I present a dull crystal. Yes, I am well aware that to most it is an eyesore and an annoyance because a dull lacks the luster and the value of its superior - the glowing crystal anf that it makes most clerics and enchanters cry at the site. But as soon as I laid my eyes upon it I knew it was what I would present because in the hands of the right person, yes the enchanters who hate them so much, the ugly, boring and seemingly worthless dull crystal can be transformed to provide something useful and valuable to us all - and possibly those in real need of food who could be suffering and starving so I think it is not so worthless after all. It may not be any great beauty like the glowie but it is just as valuable. As always it was a pleasure and an honor to be within her company though I was a bit surprised by some of the goings on around me at times and even a little nervous in such a large crowed, but I do not think it showed too much.

So how is exciting is the news that Fall Festival is right around the corner? I knew that it would be done and not to give up hope. I am glad others kept their spirits alive and that they had not completely faded out and that although they were fading away they held onto some hope and that makes me smile. I am going to be making my Twilight Trails and Soulshine bracelets for anyone else who may still want some and I am just thrilled that the festival is so close. I wonder if Pallas will be a mini Nrolav beast for a third or fourth time now. Talk about weirdness!

I had been working on something for a while now. I am a bit shy about it but I think I will try to finish it up for the festival but it might end up in the abyss.

There is a strange and profound sweeping silence finding its way once again around the lands and an uneasy feeling working its way through my being - try as I might to push it away from me. Though things are outwardly well and good for me and those around me, as far as I know, something darker feels ... foreboding. I hope that I am wrong, for I do not like how I am feeling and to make it worse I feel useless these days. Oh yes I continue on my way healing, blessing, aiding in anyways I can and giving advices to all who ask it of me the best that I can and with my deepest hopes that I am helpful but my eyes and spirit see and feel that there is this eerie emptiness. Things seem almost mechanical and sometimes as if they are in slow motion. I continue my prayers and meditations. I write, design and try to keep hopes and spirits for a festival alive and high but even that now seems to be fading from many faces and it saddens me to see their hopes dashed and the disappointment on their faces. All I can say is that things happen for a reason and that we can not judge those reasons. And there is still hope of a festival yet and if not, well then it is not the end of the world. We will need to make the most of things, always, one way or another and trust in our gods. At least I will continue to do so and I hope that others will do the same. Life is full of mystery - it is a spiritual experience in which we are not meant to know all the answers. If we were to understand it all, the how and the why, well then what would life be but a story we have already read over and over again? Maybe another day, but not this day.

So light up a token. Make a silly costume. Smile. Blow lemonade out your nose - but not on anyone. Be merry and weird. Have your own party. Tell someone a creepy tale. Make your own fun. Enjoy life and shine on! You never know what next awaits you.

I wrote this recently for a contest where you can not repeat words and only use six sentences and thought I would put what I had written in my journal as part of my inspirited eagerness for the Fall Festival to arrive. Just in case my multi colored glowing bracelets and spooktacular gaudy token earrings are not getting my spirit of the season across enough. One can not ever go wrong with a creepy story, can they? Plus Bryg and Lucy are really not helping. Here I was trying to be the one to keep them calm and saying Oh the Fall Festival will be here soon enough - no worries and now here I am actually bouncing around and excited for it - in private of course. Darn them! I can not help it. It is my favorite time of the year and as I have mentioned before, this season is my favorite time.

There is much more I have on my mind but I truly can not process all of it right now to really write about it. Pallas had done something for me that is too touching even for me to put into words and even if I could I am not really sure I want to, because it is special and all for me. I think about what he had given to me the other night for it is really very remarkable and with the deepest of thought put into it and I look into his dear eyes so true to me and I know without question his love. I know I have no doubts in that depth - Ive not doubted that love for quite some time now even through ups and downs and I know few can say that and I hope he can say the same. If he can then we truly share a unique gift. He lights up my heart and touches my spirit. There are always unexpected moments in this life that winds down and passes us by that we wish to treasure always and hold onto and he keeps me in eager anticipation of them. Thank you, Pallas.

Well back to my story before I can not even see the page I am writing on with my silly eyes becoming misty-like. I am thinking how much more I could add to this little tale with some other words and sentences and the ability to repeat and expand but am thinking do I really need to? I think I like it just the way that it is but then again I think of a whole other level it could go up to. Maybe some day, in some future fall festival, we will see the lonely ghostly needle eyed girl again.

...maybe she is standing right behind you.

*Wooooooosh* *THUD* - crashing meteors, descending Great Korunga or many raining fall festival tokens mayhaps?
Nay, tale tells that during festivities past some strange girl fell from the chill misty star filled skies.
Translucent boiled skin, long frizzy raven hair and who had pointed needles within her eyes.
She stood crookedly tall with pale, thin arms spread wide then bellowed sorrowfully - oOoOooh woe is me!!
For this ghastly, miserable cursed existence where once was animated light - now I cannot see!!
In Sooth! - Wretched life of darkened ignorance be so very lonely indeed, which man will take my hand to dance a ghostly macabre?!