Suddenly it happens. You gaze back at the past and realize how much has changed and how much you yourself have changed. You come to realize that you no longer want things that used to be oh so important. That you now need things that you would have never thought about before. Or that you now feel things that were previously unthinkable. Some say that in hindsight everything becomes clearer. I think its just another perspective that we ought to pay attention to, and maybe thats why I find a bit of interest in looking backwards.

I can see a wry, crooked smile upon my face as I gaze into the water and reminisce. I can see lines etched by worry along the corners of my eyes that I don't remember being there before. I think about who I was and who I am and read the old pages of this journal in an attempt to figure out if the two are the same anymore. This stream of life, this chain of events that has lead me to the path my feet tread now. I sit and wonder what we are supposed to get from it. What lessons to take to heart and what past memories can be let go. I suppose it it would be rather naive to think that we can make our way through life without letting things change us but its amazing to think about the little things that seemed so unimportant, amazing to look back and see how much they can affect us and how much they can change us. How one person could have changed the path you were going to take and diverted you into another one. How a few shared words in one moment of need can make you re-evaluate all you know and believe. Each event of a persons life, chained together by the connections they made and the people they held close. Fate determined by the chances we take, the choices we make and every breath we take. Any given moment in our lives is a culmination of all that has come before it, a humbling thought to anyone I would suppose. But who I am now is not who I was...it is the same but different, as a good friend of mine once said ages ago. A contradiction that never fails to make me smile at the thought.

I suppose that the meandering thought I'm trying to find a way to explain is that I'm not going to continue being what I was because it no longer is who I am right now. I'm not going to continue on with the goals I devisied years ago upon first coming here. I will not train and fight simply because I feel duty bound to do so-I will do it when I feel like it. Call it selfish, because thats really what it boils down to I guess. I will not stay bound here because I feel like I owe something-I will do so if I feel like it. I hold the title to my own life, and my perspective and means have changed in such a way that I can now see that.

I can feel the wind blowing and it feels like it is calling my name, beckoning me on home. It tugs at my cloak and I feel like I could be swept up in a whirlwind and vanish into thin air...so for now I will follow the wind where ever it takes me. I've always said you cannot cage a wild bird, but I guess it took until now to realize that there is more to my name than an affinity for music. This nomad will wander on and catch sights of other lands, sing songs of other sorrows and delights. But the past and this land will forever be in mind, and should I ever need a place of comfort in which to rest my tiring wings I know there are kind hearts and comfortable Inns where we can share a mug or two.

There are no goodbyes...there are only opportunities for future reunions.