Monday, 13 April 2015
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On precipice of ice, where blood of heroes bloom crimson fields of fire.
Howling winds with biting wails and frightful gales sing now songs of sorrow.
Words become thy pain last embrace; scatter now fragments of a heart betrayed.
What was left behind was but a shell, able still to function and in shadows dwell.
I had ventured into a realm of complete detachment, where every breathe was one of apathy. It was a path that had taken years, meandering though the constant routine of severing relationships, a slow decent into becoming lost! The path entered unwillingly and without forethought as steps across sandy beaches, each one, silent, and alone, seemed the best way to cope with being so completely broken. Why speak hollow words of empathy when all hope at reaching the part of me that was touched with heart was long dead.
The only thing left for me was duty; I still belonged to a small select group that called me, family. I still had responsibility to a few that still remembered what the word love meant. I did not acknowledge how much their extended gestures measure of deeds and words stirred me. These seemingly innocuous gifts I stored and stacked into a pyre awaiting a flame would either burn me back into life or devour me completely. Many had tried to get me to speak again; many had tried to get me to burn the shield I had made to never become so vulnerable to emotion again.
Then without warning, one day you did just that, for a brief moment you somehow gave me the strength I needed to feel once more. It was a struggle to unlock the smallest sliver of a crack of what I had buried. I gave that part to you, for a spell your smile chanced to spin a bond that connected me to the pieces that made me whole and once more hear the whisper of a beat. This delicate trembling beat of joy enough to squash the painful memories that had haunted me for so long.
To see your smile has made me whole once more even if it was for the briefest of moments shared with me, and a light shone brightly in your eyes that touched your soul. How could I ask for more when already you had breached my sanctum and now knowing that love unfettered is the only recompense that I can give? I thus reciprocated and granted your release from the bond myself, shattering the last of my heart closing my eyes to sleep. I swore to see the smile on your face when inside all I could do is pray that the memories we shared together would be screaming inside you like they were in me. Inside me, these memories of us scream so loud, making all words spoken to me by friends empty and silent, words touched with care and wisdom, but could not find the beauty in them.
Here now I stand once more, awakened by your pain and seeing those eyes that bind my heart covered in tears, and that smile that awakened the joy in me gone.
I swear to never see those tears again, I swear to see that smile restored, I swear that no longer can I shut the world out, because you are my world and for now until eternity I will love only you. This is what is written in my soul, the one that I have mated with you for eternity. It is spoken now for all to see on the slimmest of bracelets that adorns my wrist that binds the pieces of my heart so it can beat for you… Akassa.
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Matt Shadowsong posted @ 08:04 -
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